Bullshit PSA: Nintendo Is Dead

Sadly, today I am going to break some bad news. Nintendo, the company that brought us the SNES passed away yesterday. We heard that this was due to a self-inflicted wound known as a “Paid Online Subscription Service”.

With Iwata’s passing, Nintendo lost the one thing keeping it from sinking. Now we, the consumer have to put it out of its misery, just like Arthas did in Stratholme.

This entire company must be purged!

That’s right, we have no choice… oh wait, we actually do have a choice. The best way to deal with this what I like to call “undeadtendo”, we must resort to using our wallets to either:

  1. Remain closed


2.  Used to purchase a second-hand console and copy of the new F-Zero if it happens.

Under any circumstances, DO NOT sign up for this paid online service. Let Nintendo die peacefully, if you sign up for this service you will plague the entire world and that can not happen.

If you truly value Nintendo’s heritage and history, boycott this service and boycott any new purchases of Nintendo games.

Thank you for listening.

R.I.P Sataru Iwata


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