Postal 2 Review (Steam version)

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Postal 2 is an oddity among the FPS genre. While most FPS games released prior to the seventh generation were often constrained and linear in terms of progression, Postal 2 takes an alternate approach being one of the first sandbox shooters alongside Grand Theft Auto. Unlike Grand Theft Auto however, Postal 2 decided to do away with its top down origins and transitioned into a first person shooter. This makes Postal 2 pretty unique for its time since sandbox FPS games were very few and far between back in 2003.

In addition, the Postal series maintains a reputation of being one of the most obscene gaming franchises of all time. While the first game chose a darker, more grittier feel, Postal 2 opted for a more comical feel that takes great pleasure in mocking pop culture as well as the gaming industry as a whole. Usually I wouldn’t care for such humor but Postal 2 executes it so well that I can’t help but love it. This is due to the fact that the game doesn’t try to shove the joke down your throat, rather it throws you in to a world of extremities and your job is to navigate your way through it.

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Naturally as a rational individual or a crazed psychopath (usually the latter), you will often come into conflict with many of the angry stereotypes that populate this game’s world and they are all out to cause trouble. You will quickly wonder if there is any sanity left in the town of Paradise… or perhaps there never was. Nevertheless, you are given a list of errands to complete and how you get from A to B is up to you, this might sound like a chore at first but there are more to these errands than meets the eye… or not. You’ll just have to wait and see for yourself.

Like all good first person shooters, you’re going to need a large arsenal of weapons and Postal 2 doesn’t disappoint. There are many different types of weaponry available to you from the standard assault rifle to a can of inflammable Lynx Stynx which is used conjointly with a lighter to create a devastating flamethrower. There is also a wide assortment of melee weapons on offer for those who want to take a more up close and personal approach.

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It definitely has a strong aroma…

Some melee weapons even have multiple functions such as the machete which can be thrown at enemies like a boomarang allowing you to cut down enemies from afar, there’s also a powerful scythe which can cut down several enemies at once and be tossed at a herd of enemies waiting to be culled. Most are fairly standard swinging weapons though, some are more useful than others but there’s certainly no shortage of them around and they all pack a punch.

The game itself is pretty bog standard in its execution and doesn’t try too many ideas with its gameplay. Weapons are easy to use and have perfect accuracy. This may make the gunplay feel sterile to some but ultimately I see it as a good thing. Enemies are pretty brain-dead for the most part, they will usually respond to gunfire by standing in a stationary position and shooting you. This could have been detrimental to the gameplay had the game not had such a ridiculous premise to begin with. In a way, the AI fits in with what this game is trying to portray. Postal 2 is nothing more than dumb fun, there is literally nothing stupider than Postal 2 and that’s why it is so much fun to play.

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With all that being said however, it is easy to be overwhelmed with enemies and it is recommended to try out different weapons based on the situation. Most enemies will use the standard pistol weapon. Later on however you will find enemies who opt for a deadlier arsenal with weapons such as the assault rifle and explosive weapons such as grenades. How you approach enemies varies based on their weapon types as their strategy is always the same, stand in one spot and shoot or throw grenades. If you’re looking for realistic AI and gunplay, you’re not going to find it here.

On the other hand, those who just want to have a fun time mindlessly spraying lead into people’s faces will have a blast with this game. The satisfaction that comes with playing Postal 2 is the slaughter. You are given a huge sandbox with dozens of satisfying weapons to use at your leisure. They are all well-balanced for the most part (though the pistol’s usefulness doesn’t last) and they all pack a punch, particularly the explosive weapons. It is best not to think of Postal 2 as strictly being a first person shooter as you will have just as much fun utilizing the melee weapons and explosives.

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The freedom to cause as much chaos as possible is arguably the strongest point of Postal 2. Freedom to roam also helps with this. Postal 2 is a semi-open world game which separates each location with loading boundaries. You are free to explore a huge chunk of the map early on and gain access to more locations as you progress through the game. There are tonnes of places to go and you are encouraged to go off the beaten track to find cool new weapons, munitions and cash to buy more munitions, armor and health pipes to keep you safe. Exploration in Postal 2 is certainly a very rewarding experience and finding new weapons is always refreshing.

Over the course of the game, you will be given numerous tasks you must complete in order to progress through the game. You can approach these tasks in many different ways. Do you want a blood bath? Do you want to abide by the law? Or do you want to take what you want and flee the opposition? Naturally this game encourages you to shoot as often as possible and you are given the tools for the job so you are encouraged to slaughter as many people as possible. However this is not the only way to play the game, it is possible to play through the first 5 days without even firing a single bullet.

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In addition, the game manages to break up a lot of the open-ended progression with some linear sections. I personally like this as it keeps the gameplay fresh rather than feeling like just another GTA clone as it kinda maintains the traditional feel of the FPS genre if just for a brief moment. One thing that can be annoying though is that they often strip you of all of your weapons and you have to find them littered around these levels and you will have to find them. Aside from that, these sections tend to offer more of a challenge as they often put you in a situation where you are handicapped due to lacking your equipment as well as encountering an overwhelming force of hostility.

Where the game falls short however is in the visual department. While the visuals are understandable for such an open-ended game released in 2003, they aren’t all that great to look at. Many of the NPC character’s heads are ridiculously huge and terrain has little to no detail for the most part. I’d say that the visuals are on par with the original Half Life (released in 1998) and there is a lot of similarity between the two but Postal 2 doesn’t really go anywhere with it. While this likely isn’t going to be a big deal for most people, I can’t exactly praise the game for its visuals.

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The same can be said for the music which is practically nonexistent save for a few jingles every now and again which can get annoying at times. In a way, this is probably one of Postal 2’s weakest points, the lack of music definitely limits the potential of this game, it would have been much more satisfying to listen to some metal music as you mow down hundreds of people with a scythe but it doesn’t even go there which is a shame. All in all, don’t expect a strong ambiance with Postal 2.

Another thing that bothered me was the incessant crashing issue that I constantly ran into, even after I upgraded my PC a few days back, I still experienced these crash issues in a 2003 game, this is absolutely unacceptable and arguably the biggest problem I had playing Postal 2. I can’t see them fixing this in the near future but it still affects the game in a negative way and it would be wrong of me not to mention it. Nevertheless I do not think that it is enough to completely boycott this game even if it is a major issue.

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The steam version of Postal 2 includes Apocalypse Weekend, this adds two extra days onto the main game of Postal 2 and is a very linear focused expansion with very little open-ended content. For those who enjoy the more linear sections, Apocalypse now is definitely worth a play but considering the fact that it is free on the Steam version, there is little point in going over it in greater detail in this review as it is completely optional. At the beginning of the game you can choose to play through the first 5 days or the whole week. Bear in mind that the retail version does not include this expansion, however the steam version is the cheaper option so for this review I will be covering the entire package found ion the steam version.

So ultimately, I get that Postal 2 is made by a small development team and while my review might be a little harsh on it, I do really love this game. I cannot however mislead people into thinking that it is a huge AAA title that people hype it up to be and as such I believe people should keep in mind that this is not a game that is going to blow you away with stunning visuals and revolutionary gameplay but rather it will give you a fun sandbox to ventilate your rage on countless innocent people with a few good laughs here and there. You can often find this game priced at 69p which is about equivalent to $1.00. This is an absolute bargain for this game and cannot be passed up. Of course I’d encourage you to support the devs by paying full price should you feel the need to but if you do see it on offer, you should absolutely give it a try.

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Story/Plot: Good (I base my score on the humor)

Visuals: Mediocre

Gameplay: Good

Music: Forgettable

Lifespan: (varies, main story is decent length but it is a sandbox game so it might take you a little longer)

Would you replay? Maybe


Overall: Good


Value: £25.00

Meanwhile at Activision HQ…

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SAG-AFTRA’s attempt to strike a deal with Activision’s CEO goes horribly wrong.

Hard Reset Redux Review

This game has been a very rocky ride for me and as a result I have put myself into a position where I find it difficult to review this game but here’s what happened. So I picked up the game on a sale for £11.00 and gave it a shot sometime just after it was released. I was excited to play this game as it was developed by people who were involved in the development of the legendary Painkiller and since People Can Fly don’t seem to want to make FPS games that aren’t published by EA anymore, I decided to give Hard Reset Redux a shot to see if I could get a taste of what Painkiller gave me.

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Now for starters, I want to make it clear that I did not have any lofty expectations for this game, I expected something simple and straightforward and that is almost what I got, almost. I started with the original Hard Reset which came packaged in with the redux. About an hour into the game, I saw warning signs. Hard Reset is what I like to call a horde swarming game in the sense that every single enemy in the game seems to move twice as fast as you and is impossible to outrun.

As a result, I knew where this game was going and quickly refunded it. Later on, I saw the game priced at around £4.00, so I decided that I owe the game another chance simple because I forgot to try out the redux version. Do I regret my purchase? Well considering the fact that I got the game for dirt cheap, I can’t say that I regret giving this game another try as I got my money’s worth with this game, at least as far as content is concerned.

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Hard Reset feels like a low budget version of Painkiller. It takes the fundamentals of Painkiller and doesn’t even give you half the level of enjoyment in almost all facets of the game. Heck it doesn’t even feel like Painkiller for the most part, it feels more like Serious Sam and I really dislike Serious Sam for having tonnes of HP sponge enemies who spawn in battalions and move twice as fast as you, leaving you with no choice but to keep backpedaling with the rocket launcher and pray you don’t backpedal into a wall.

Call me crazy but I really don’t enjoy the gameplay Serious Sam offers (at least the first game). Call me a noob if you want but honestly, if the game wasn’t so lazily put together, I would have probably had a much more enjoyable experience with it. Thankfully one thing that Hard Reset Redux does right is that it actually creates a pretty stunning looking world. Whether or not Hard Reset is better looking than Painkiller is subjective, I prefer Painkiller for its aesthetic style but damn, Hard Reset puts games like Deus-Ex Human revolution to shame with its visuals and they are set in the same type of universe which makes them the perfect comparisons.

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Everything from billboards, vending machine advertisements, all the way to the virtual screens that pop up as you approach objects. Everything feels seamless as you interact with terminals. It is undoubtedly pretty cool and really pulls you into its cyberpunk world. You can tell that the developers put quite a lot of effort into the level design in this game, particularly from an aesthetic standpoint.

What they didn’t put effort into however is the gameplay. Now I will say that the redux improves the gameplay drastically compared to the original with the addition of the new dash feature. This allows the player to essentially double their mobility. You can almost move as fast as Painkiller… almost. This makes for a more fast paced experience than that of the original Hard Reset and it really adds a lot to the fun factor of the game since you feel as if you have more control of battles. With the ability to dodge attacks effectively and avoid melee enemies easier instead of having to constantly backpedal away from them. You still have to keep your distance though as enemies still move rather quickly and their attack animations are very fast, some of which have pretty wide AOE’s.

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Now here’s where the problems start to appear. The weapons in Hard Reset Redux are interesting but the cool idea of having upgradable weapons doesn’t make up for the ridiculous control layout. I mapped the change weapon button to Q and E simply because it was near the WASD keys but couldn’t they simply make it possible to cycle through every weapon with the mouse wheel rather than having to press keys all the time?

Now I get that people like to hotkey specific weapons to the number keys and you can still do that… but why do we only get to swap weapon modes with the mouse wheel? Why can’t we swap the actual weapons with the mouse wheel? This is just one example of Hard Reset trying to be more complicated than it needs to be. Painkiller didn’t need to have two weapons with different modes, it just had lots of swappable weapons.

“Hard Reset is what I like to call a horde swarming game in the sense that every single enemy in the game seems to move twice as fast as you and is impossible to outrun”

The only explanation I can think of is that they are trying to be realistic. In this case then why not have a single gun instead of two guns and have that gun use both energy and kinetic firepower? Then we can cycle through every single upgrade a lot easier. To make matters worse, the redux adds the katana to the mix which is a near-useless weapon and you have to cycle through it every single time you want to swap to your kinetic weapon.

Weapon swapping aside, Hard Reset has all of the problems that Serious Sam has but worse (aside from having better aesthetics). The enemies have insane amounts of health. Some enemies have literally 400+ hit points and you can tell by using the smart gun. Every shot you do deals roughly 5-20 damage unless it is an explosive shot and it can take ages for the machine/plasma rifle to kill some of the tougher enemies in the game.

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One of these enemies in particular you will encounter right at the start of the game and these enemies will charge at you and were basically unavoidable in the original but thanks to the new dash function, you can dodge them easier but they are still a little annoying, even when you get the more advanced weapons, they are a pain in the ass to deal with since they have ridiculously large amounts of health and are easily the most annoying enemies in the game.

Now I do get where this game is going, I really do. The weapons are still pretty cool and can be fun to use and you really have to think about what weapon you are using. Some weapons are better than others however and two in particular are completely useless. These are the shotgun and the katana. When I play a videogame, I expect a shotgun to instagib any enemy at close range unless it is a really powerful one. In this game, even the smallest of enemies require 2-4 hits to kill with the shotgun even up close. This is inexcusable when you consider the fact that Painkiller’s shotgun 1 shots enemies with a close ranged shot of the shotgun and has a much faster fire rate.

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The katana is an impractical weapon… but you can’t help but use it because it is so cool!

In fact I’d say with the exception of the Shotgun from Serious Sam (the first one), this may well be the worst shotgun I have ever used in a videogame and I feel sorry for anyone who is naive enough to pick the shotgun upgrade first like I did because it is completely and utterly useless for the most part, especially since you will rarely want to get up close and personal with enemies in this game since they all move twice as fast as you and have very high attack speed.

The poor balancing of the weapons can make the gameplay feel a bit sterile at some points. Yeah sure there is enough variety to give it a pass but weapons like the electric mortar, while not completely useless were simply outclassed by weapons like the shock blaster which is the ultimate CQC weapon and you get the grenade launcher which is really handy at long range and is has a reasonable fire rate. the RPG is pretty good too even if it is slower as is the smart gun which is a homing weapon which shows the enemy health gauge.

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I regrettably never got around to trying out the railgun, and the mine layer gun (forgot its name) and this is because I could never afford to pick them up since the game was over before I even had the chance to give them a try. Sure I could have gone back to replay the game but I really didn’t want to go through it again. I get that the game wanted to reward players for finding secrets and trying to implement growth but it really does limit a casual players experience with the game as a whole and those impatient will probably want to move on.

In addition, these weapons are all acquired through the upgrade terminal, this element of choice can make for a very mixed experience for the player depending on which weapons they choose to start with. If they pick the grenade launcher and the shock blaster early, they are more likely to have a much easier time than if they picked the shotgun first. While I do appreciate that the developers were trying to implement some level of growth in the game, weapon modes were not the way to go I’m afraid… now upgrading those weapons is a whole different story. There are also combat gear upgrades which affect things like shields, radar and ammo capacity, some are more useful than others.

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Bosses are a mixed bag. Then again, Painkiller wasn’t much better in this department. The second boss of the game is an absolute pain in the ass to defeat simply because its attacks are completely unavoidable for the most part (even with dash) and the final phase is needlessly complicated as the boss doesn’t have a conventional health bar and if you didn’t get the smart gun early, you will be shooting for ages wondering when it will ever drop.

I will say though that later bosses were a lot less irritating… if a tad bit chaotic. I did like how you got tonnes of trash enemies to kill alongside the bosses though, it really made the boss fights more interesting than just shooting at them. The game focuses on destroying weak points and while the later boss weak points are destroyed quicker, the earlier bosses weak points take forever to destroy and it can get pretty ridiculous at times. I do think that this is partially because you have a limited arsenal and if you didn’t pick the best weapon modes first, you will have a much harder time.

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What is this?

The music in Hard Reset is pretty dull techno for the most part with a bit of metal here and there but to me it is lifeless and barely noticeable. It does its job but it just isn’t enough to really pump me up, nor is it enough to make up for the gameplay being sub-par.

Exploration in Hard Reset is decent and can be quite rewarding as there are lots of stuff to find and pick up including currency so it is a good idea to explore levels. There are plenty of interactive objects in levels such as explosive barrels and stuff and while it can be cool at times, I find that they throw in way too many environmental hazards which can really get in your way at times and cause more hassle for you than the enemy since they often detonate/discharge with a chain reaction which can deal very high damage to you.

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How do I get behind that fence? Shoot it? Nah, that would be too easy…

The story, while obviously not being the main focus of the game, doesn’t exactly go anywhere and by the time it starts going somewhere, the game is over. You learn about a lot of things but you never really get a big reveal at the end, instead the game just ends in an anti-climactic fashion as if there wasn’t a purpose to the game by the end of it. I feel like there should be more… but at the same time I’m thankful that the game ended before it overstayed its welcome. The story is presented in a similar comic book style fashion to Painkiller Resurrection which is amusing.

To be honest, I am kinda conflicted with this game. I don’t exactly want to hate Hard Reset or the Redux, I am just a tad disappointed I really couldn’t get as much juice out of it as I anticipated. What I will say is that Hard Reset Redux is certainly a playable game and a vast improvement over the original but whether or not that makes it a good/bad game depends on how much patience the player has. I believe to truly enjoy this game you will need to play through it twice since new game + carries over all of the weapons. I will say though that it is not even in the same league as Painkiller and I shall continue my search to find a worthy match-up to it. Until then, Hard Reset Redux is going on the finished pile.


Story/Plot: Mediocre

Visuals: Great

Gameplay: Mediocre

Music: Forgettable

Lifespan: Quite Short

Would You Replay? Personally, no but if you do manage to enjoy the game then it has a new game+ so maybe.


Overall: Mediocre


Value: £5.00

Such a great shame really. I wanted to score this game a “Satisfactory” at least.

Painkiller Review

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Have you ever had those moments where you are just fed up with the ever-growing complexity and heavily story driven titles of the modern era and you want something which goes back to the roots of gaming and revitalizes the simplified formula of the FPS genre? Luckily for you, the gaming gods have brought fortune upon you this day. Big guns, big bosses and big levels filled to the brim with cannon fodder, just waiting for you to bring them pain. This is Painkiller, Painkiller is nothing else. Painkiller is a game where you walk the path to hell and leave no survivors in your wake.

The story of Painkiller is simple, you are a bad motherfucker who has been ordered by god himself to slaughter the demonic generals, luckily for you he gives you a licence to kill so of course you pick the easier option. Total genocide, yes you heard me. You are going to deliver the entire demonic race their last requiem in the form of lead… lots and lots of lead. Now you know the story of Painkiller, you are free to press the “ESC” key with every wonderfully voice acted cut scene to save yourself the needless exposition you so tire of and don’t worry, the story doesn’t even make much sense anyways so you’re not missing much, they just decided to incorporate a free B movie in with the whole package, feel free to watch it if you like but it has nothing to do with Painkiller.

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Eat my shotgun you whore!!!

So with all that aside, with everything Painkiller has to offer does it manage to deliver a solid ass kicking experience worthy of being a timeless first person shooting experience? Hell fucking yes! The core elements which make Painkiller so great are not so simply defined in one word. After all, a game such as Painkiller cannot possibly have a straightforward explanation as to why it is one of the greatest shooters of all time and quite frankly there is a lot for me to cover in just the gameplay elements alone.

For starters, one of the first things you will notice almost immediately in Painkiller is the movement… that is if you have played an old school first person shooter before. If you haven’t, don’t worry you’ll master the technique in no time. It’s called bunnyhopping. Bunnyhopping is the ability to essentially increase movement speed by jumping allowing you to dodge bullets and weave through your enemies as you gun them down. Now bunnyhopping is very easy to learn but difficult to master. This is what separates the men from the boys in Painkiller. You see in Painkiller, bunnyhopping is a big deal.

 

“Painkiller is a game where you walk the path to hell and leave no survivors in your wake”

 

Unlike most first person shooters, Painkiller takes bunnyhopping to the next level as it pretty much doubles your movement speed. This means that as long as you are moving, you are nigh untouchable. Of course you will still have a lot of enemies to contend with and you will still get hurt… a lot but bunnyhopping effectively will minimize the pain you receive allowing you to deal more pain in return. This leads to some crazy looking gameplay which is a feast to the eyes and is without a doubt the most satisfying experience you will ever have in a first person shooter.

The game starts off quite simple as you are pitted against only melee enemies who are harmless from a safe distance, however they will pose a threat to you if they get close. The levels will slowly become less open and more closed in forcing you to manage your movement more diligently. This means lots and lots of bunnyhopping, using your increased level of agility to avoid their lethal attacks, get behind them and introduce them to your makeshift barrel blaster.

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However things begin to get tougher fast. Eventually enemies will begin to fire projectiles at you. This is where things begin to get tricky. Enemy projectiles can be avoided however it is not at simple as just weaving through dozens of melee enemies gunning them down one by one. This time you will need to fight fire with fire and bring out the trusty stakegun taking them out from afar before they get another chance to gun you down. Best of all, after you’ve stuck their corpse to the wall, you can pull out your trusty painkiller and launch it at them repeatedly in order to mug them of their demonic riches in the form of jewels which come flying out of their ass each time you pull the trigger.

As you can see, the arsenal of weaponry available to you is far from the conventional military apparatus. You are granted weapons worthy to only the most fearless of genocidal psychopaths, each with their own unique function which allows you to take those pesky demons by surprise. The Painkiller is a weapon which you can always rely on. At first glance it is almost identical to Link’s iconic Clawshot from the Zelda series but then… wait, hang on a minute, Painkiller came out in 2004, Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess came out in 2006 so technically the Painkiller came first so suck it Nintendo and suck it hard.

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Anyone up for some laser tag?

Of course there’s more to the Painkiller than meets the eye, sure you can launch it just like the Clawshot in Twilight Princess but it also doubles as a portable blender which you can use to slice and dice your enemies and make delicious demon smoothies. OK, I lied, they’re not delicious, they’re disgusting and that’s why they all need to die.

Naturally like any first person shooter, you’re going to need a real gun and boy do you have some serious firepower in your arsenal. The first being your weapon of choice for a huge portion of the game, the shotgun or as I like to call it a double-barreled massacre device designed with the sole purpose of deporting demons straight to hell. As an added bonus, this double barreled recipe for disaster comes with a buckshot duplication device allowing you to shoot a single shell out of two barrels. Better yet your destructive double barrel slinger of doom is fitted with liquid nitrogen so that you can shatter them in a single shot.

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Later on you will acquire the legendary stakegun, a weapon originally used to kill vampires. Well guess what? It kills demons just as effectively if not more. You can use the stakegun from any range and impale their worthless bodies with a pointed stick burning as it approaches them at an insane velocity which will cause so much shock and pain towards the enemy that their limbs will come flying off the moment the hit connects. If you’re lucky, you can also impale them to the nearest wall and keep them as trophy’s. In addition, your makeshift stick launcher is fitted directly onto a grenade launcher so that you can bring fireworks to the party, just fling it in the direction of the nearest group of demons and watch their body parts soar.

Of course there are other weapons available to you but I will not spoil the fun for you, have fun discovering them for yourself. All you need to know is that you’ll be well equipped for your journey along the borders of heaven and hell which spans across 24 levels filled with dozens of enemies, destructibles and secrets for you to discover. Though these secrets serve as a distraction from all the intense action you will be facing, they only go towards helping you increase your body count within the realm of purgatory. Put simply if your finger isn’t constantly tapping the lmb and the space bar, you aren’t playing it properly.

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With all that said however, purgatory is home to some iconic landmarks that you will pass through on your journey. Purgatory is home to many historic locations which have found themselves sealed within due to their connection with implications that were caused there in the realm of the living. You will pay a visit to many forsaken lands and bear witness to the remains of the terrifying tragedies which partook there. Other locations will have you gaze in awe as you embark across forbidden and unholy lands of grandeur. Every place has its own story to tell, a story left unwritten, a story that guides you along a linear path and to your destiny. You cannot control the path destiny has weaved for you, you can only control the field of battle. That is the fate of all who pass on to the realm of Purgatory. It is up to you to piece this story together… that is when you aren’t fighting for your life.

You will find yourself isolated in these desolate lands as very few are fated to walk the path to heaven or hell and many of those who are misfortunate enough to do so often fall into damnation. With only you and your destructive arsenal at your disposal, you are left with no other choice but to keep on killing because everything is your enemy in this game and everything must die no matter what. How you go about doing these deeds is up to you. Though the demons are greater in number, the odds are in your favor. The path will open up with every foe you slay and it will guide you to your next destination, you will never lose your way in Purgatory… but there is no escape.

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Uh oh… looks like we angered the locals…

Every demon you slay makes you stronger. Every soul you consume gives you life. You will kill your enemies and devour their souls to become stronger and when the time comes, they will become the prey. If you just happen to acquire 66 souls you will receive the ultimate power known as demon morph. A power which will grant you with a powerful scream, an echo which tears apart all the unfortunate victims who dare to oppose you. To add insult to injury, you are also granted temporary immortality so the more that oppose you, the more devastating your powers will become.

Did I forget to mention that Painkiller is accompanied with a badass heavy metal soundtrack? Of course it is, what else are you going to listen to as you gun down masses of demonic fodder? The music is quite possibly the lifeblood of Painkiller, together with the endless, chaotic and downright sadistic gameplay it makes for an exhilarating experience. There are countless metal tracks to listen to with many different styles to choose from. I am no expert but I’m pretty sure any metal-heads out there will be able to appreciate the level of diversity in the music of Painkiller.

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The music is so good it makes me wanna do this.

As you can see, there is a lot to like about Painkiller, most would say that is perfect in every way. Unfortunately, as good as it is, Painkiller does have one notable flaw. The boss fights in Painkiller are huge and very powerful… too powerful. While some bosses are great, others are too great. Certain bosses are immune to bullets and require you to find their weakness.

Some bosses can also deal a lot of damage to you which can sometimes be difficult to avoid. This can often be troublesome when you are low on health and as it is impossible to acquire souls in boss fights it can result in a lot of cheap deaths. Nobody said Painkiller would be easy… this is purgatory after all. Luckily for you, tarot cards give you superhuman strength enabling you to kill most bosses is under 2 minutes.

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I think I’ve found your weakness buddy

To walk the path of Purgatory is to walk the path of judgement, your only hope is to kill everything that moves but no hope will ever be enough, you will never find the true path to heaven, the only known thing that lies in wake is your demise but how long will you survive the endless gauntlet of purgatory? Will you ever find a way out of here? Or have you been subjected to eternal damnation? Though you may never find an answer to these questions there is one thing for certain, many demons will be harmed in the process and you will keep on fighting till every last one of them is dead. This is Painkiller, this is your destiny, our destiny, we must all walk this path in life, the only question is, when will you walk the path of damnation?

Quite frankly there isn’t a better time to start, pick up your copy of Painkiller right now, whether it be a physical retail copy, a digital Steam copy or a DRM free digital copy. It matters not how you approach it, all routes lead to the same path and you will follow that path until the very end. Will you survive? Or will you be damned forever? One thing’s for sure, if you don’t start now, it may be too late for you, you must play this game and you should play it as soon as possible for everything is at stake, this game is the definitive fast paced, adrenaline inducing first person shooter and if that sounds even remotely interesting to you, it should be illegal for you not to play this game.


Plot/Story: Wait, Painkiller had a story? Sorry I completely forgot, what is this story?

Visuals: Exceptional

Gameplay: Exceptional

Music: Excellent

Lifespan: Decent Length

Would you replay? Hell yes (I put emphasis on the word “hell” for a reason)


Overall: Exceptional

silver-star-of-awesome sized


For a more serious, in-depth analysis of the game, watch this video.

Value: £40.00+

Purchase Painkiller (PC DVD)

Duke Nukem Forever Review

It’s been 20 years since Duke Nukem 3D and as such Gearbox have decided to re-release it. However the Duke Nukem series hit an all time low as far as ratings were concerned with it’s latest installment Duke Nukem Forever. As such I thought I’d dive straight into it, yet another Humble Bundle game that came with The Darkness II.

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Now I haven’t played much of the Duke Nukem series. I remember only playing a demo of Duke Nukem 3D which was a pretty sizable demo. Should I have picked it up? Maybe… however I ended up getting this instead. Regardless I had fun playing it back then. It had some cleaver secrets and some pretty well designed levels for its time with lots of iconic venues. Of course I didn’t get to play all of it but I just loved using weapons like the Ripper to mow down enemies, those were my best moments playing Duke Nukem, shooting things and exploring the levels. The same could be said about all FPS games really.

So when I picked up Duke Nukem Forever I wondered to myself “How bad could it possibly be?”. I dove straight in and was almost immediately introduced to a boss fight who couldn’t even hit me because I was constantly circling him as he repeated the same attacks over and over again. This is when I realized that Tryptych didn’t really give a fuck about the game’s AI, they added very little variation with the boss fights so much so that they felt stale and uninspired.

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That was the first thing that stuck out like a sore thumb to me, that and the simple fact that each time the bosses health bar reaches zero, you had to perform a quick time event execution sequence to finish them off. Needless to say, I didn’t know this at the time and as such I kept fighting it and fighting it till I finally realized what I had to do.

Then the game immediately dropped all of the action in favor of some walking simulation nonsense which exists solely to show just how much of an egomaniac, narcissist Duke is and how everyone and their mother knows and worships him as if he is some kind of god. Funnily enough, I actually enjoyed these sections more than I did the actual game. Why? Because of the level of interactivity in each of those sections. I swear I spent hours just drinking soda out of a vending machine just to see how much of a mess I could make on the floor. That and I love vending machines. Why couldn’t they make the ones in DOOM do something?

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Honestly I felt like I was playing two different games at some point. Watching Duke fanny around with pretty much everything is ironically far more satisfying than anything the combat had to offer, so much so that it appeared that the developers knew this and as a result they reduced the level of combat to a minimal. This time instead of fighting tonnes and tonnes of enemies, you are instead thrown into long-ass physics puzzle sections only to encounter brief combat sections every now and again and then returned to the puzzle solving and the occasional walking around and interacting with nonsense stuff. Then you’re thrown into a turret section where you are severely punished for fucking up and finally vehicle sections which were also pretty satisfying IMO.

However the meat of the game, I.E the combat is where Duke Nukem Forever falls flat on its ass. Now the two weapon limit is annoying in itself but I would have been able to cope with it if the weapons you were given didn’t have such limited ammo capacity. Honestly this wasn’t an issue back in Duke Nukem 3D due to the weapon carry limit which is arguably the biggest complaint this game received simply because each weapon has such limited ammo that you are forced to swap between new weapons every so often. This wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t make so many of the weapons situational. The railgun for one is near useless in a game like Duke Nukem Forever as it is a single shot sniper in a game where you supposed to be up close and personal with the enemy. Even Painkiller’s sniper rifle managed to adapt to this style of gameplay but the railgun feels misplaced.

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Other weapons such as the Freeze Ray and the Shrink Ray feel needless, those weapons were originally designed for experimentation purposes to go alongside the huge roster of weapons at your disposal in Duke Nukem 3D but would I seriously swap one of them with the Ripper/Shotgun? Hell no. To add insult to injury, most bosses are immune to bullets and any other non-explosive weapon so it’s important to keep an explosive weapon with you at all times.

In addition you also have access to Pipe Bombs and Trip Mines. Trip Mines are basically useless in most encounters because the enemies just appear and you often end up blocking your own routes. there are even times where the enemy has walked directly into the laser and still lived and in the end I have to shoot the mine to trigger it manually. Pipe Bombs are still useful thankfully and can pack quite a punch against regular enemies. They can also bounce off of jump pads which look like a combination of a flytrap and a rotten cucumber.

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Movement in Duke Nukem Forever is pretty standard, you can dodge most bullets and avoid most melee attacks with ease. Explosives however are near impossible to avoid completely. I find that explosive attacks often end up being in a Leningrad esque scenario in the sense that it’s kill or be killed. Now this would have probably been more acceptable if it wasn’t for the horrible regenerating health mechanic that this game shoehorns in. I mean seriously did you need to cover at all in Duke Nukem 3D? No you just shot your way through everything and dodged everything. In this game however you are hit with high AOE blast radius attacks which deal a fuck ton of damage.

Octobrains are the worst for this because they have way too much health and deal way too much unavoidable damage with their explosive breath attack (or whatever it is) which deals insane damage. There really isn’t much balance in terms of the enemy strengths and weaknesses from what I have seen. Octobrains are pretty resistant to the Ripper, the Shotgun is useless because they like to stay as far away from you as possible, rockets and grenades are useless because they fire them back at you and the Shrink Ray is useless since you can’t squash them and makes an already small, fast moving target even harder to hit. Plus the Freeze Ray lacks the range to even reach them.

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Most enemies on the other hand will die to pretty much anything except bosses which to me feel all the same. Shoot them get into cover, shoot their minions, leave cover, shoot them again, rinse and repeat. Sure they try to mix them up with certain fights but the lack of cover makes these fights really annoying and the way you are forced to play against these bosses is just nonsense, especially in a Duke Nukem game. The new alien weapons on offer feel rather gimped in comparison to returning weapons and many of them have limited ammo capacity.  Some of them are pretty strong but  you’ll never rely on them because it’s difficult to find ammo for them and other weapons do the job better in general.

It seems what they were trying to do is make it so that certain weapons are better against certain enemies but the two weapon limit ruins this completely. It they didn’t have this two weapon limit I believe the enemy encounters wouldn’t be so uninteresting because there would be so many ways to experiment with lots of different weapons at your disposal and you’d be encouraged to try them all.

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I made a point of trying to stick with the Ripper and the Devastator for as long as I could because there would occasionally be ammo crates littered around which gave you access to infinite ammo, you would keep these two weapons around for this reason. However I found myself trying to conserve as much ammo as possible in most sections which was a pain, even trying to melee certain enemies to try and kill them. Yes that includes meleeing an Octobrain.

It just doesn’t feel right, I want to put my finger on the LMB and mow enemies down fast but instead I fire the ripper in short bursts which was not as it was intended to be used for. I didn’t get any satisfaction from any of the weapons for that reason which is a huge problem in a first person shooter like Duke Nukem Forever.

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The Level Design is decent for the most part… if a bit linear. A lot of the locations felt uninspired as opposed to that of Duke Nukem 3D. You find yourself in the same bland offices with the same bland tunnels and wreckage for most of the game, it likes to throw the same at you a lot and there isn’t as much variety as I would have liked. Granted Duke Nukem 3D has a lot of levels that look very samey the levels are only that way because of their thematic style and it is consistant. However when you are on the Duke Dome mission in Duke Nukem Forever, most of that mission is spend wandering around wastelands of wreckage and construction sites and it gets old seeing these areas when in reality you want to see what’s going on inside the Duke Dome that the level is supposed to revolve around. Funnily enough once you finally reach the Duke Dome, the level ends.

The biggest annoyance for me was the puzzles. I could cope with the rest of it but the puzzles were just boring. Some of them were straightforward and simple but just took time to do such as filling up a crane with barrels to re-balance the weight. I find that the game threw way too many puzzles at you and it’s just needless. They weren’t even that hard and quite frankly I’m pretty thankful for that. Nevertheless it’s more busywork the player has to do to reach the next shooting section and even that wasn’t much to look forward to.

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Quite frankly I had the most fun playing through the walking sim sections and funnily enough I was looking forward to see more of them but eventually there comes to a point in the game where you no longer have any of these interactive moments kinda like in Bioshock Infinite, heck It’s as if most 2K games just love to have these walking sim sections in them. This wouldn’t have been so bad if the actual gameplay wasn’t so monotonous. The sad thing is that the best level in the game turned out to be nothing more than a dream which is hilarious as it just goes to show that even Duke himself is getting bored with this game and it shows.

I spent hours playing the snooker minigame trying to get that ego boost and I ended up getting more engaged in that and all the other minigames on offer than I did with any of the shooting sections. I had a lot of fun playing air hockey and the pinball game was intense and pretty cool. There was also the whack-a-mole game in which I used far more reflexes than I did in any of the shootouts. The dream section only lasted so long though and you couldn’t revisit it or any other area like it for the rest of the game.

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Occasionally there were a few other distractions littered around levels and the odd restrooms where you could piss about in (literally) but aside from that is was just walking through repetitive levels, solving puzzles and shooting baddies, trying to keep your ammo stocked up. I swear that I spent the vast majority of the game searching for Ammo for my guns simply because I wanted to keep my Ripper in my inventory and didn’t want to swap it for anything else.

Visually speaking, the bright lighting kinda felt a mid misplaced, unlike in Duke Nukem 3D where it was always night time which added this cool lit up city vibe, Duke Nukem Forever is brightly lit outdoors 95% of the time  and it made the visuals feel lacking in the variety department. A lot of the visual appeal shown to us in Duke Nukem Forever’s original trailer showed this dark urban environment that I felt was lacking in Duke Nukem Forever.

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Bright lighting and a dark cloudy sky… not the best combination.

Only inside buildings did you ever see any dark lighting which was a shame. Regardless the visuals aren’t as bad as people make them out to be, there are some nice locations and some dull locations. I find that later on in the games the levels become really dull and samey though.

Additionally the game also seems to have a few minor characters and I mean minor characters. It’s a shame you didn’t really get to see much out of them though as Duke was the central character of the game and even though I understand that they were trying to get that one man army vibe that Painkiller gives, these minor characters just feel as if they were shoved in there in order to take the piss out of modern shooters when it only serves to make them the same… if not worse.

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It wouldn’t have been so bad if there was some banter between Duke and Dylan but a lot of the time, Duke just stands there and listens, he doesn’t ever communicate with his team when he is battling alongside them. If anything it’s a missed opportunity on Gearbox’s part.

It would have been cool to have given Duke a cool side-kick who would have given Duke someone to natter to during some of his missions rather than just nattering to himself which is quite amusing to be honest. I guess deep down, Duke isn’t much of a sociable person, if fact despite being an alpha male stereotype he appears to be socially awkward in most situations… unless he’s talking to one of his “babes”.

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Dylan seemed like a cool guy to me. Shame he was completely shadowed by the Duke.

The music in the game is pretty forgettable minus the theme song of course which never gets old. There are a lot of tense tracks that appear at random in certain sections but for the most part there is nothing but silence. There are also remixes of the Duke Nukem theme song in the ambiance as well as some classic jingles which play in the elevator which anyone who played Duke Nukem 3D will remember.

All in all as a shooter, Duke Nukem Forever works… it just doesn’t work very well. It feels like a very watered down shooter with minimal satisfaction. To be fair I can see the appeal die hard Duke fans can get from this game as Duke is still for the most part the same Duke, you’re still facing the same enemies and you still get the same legendary quotes. They just threw it all into a very bland modern FPS which tries to function more like an old school FPS at times. However it fails due to the use of modern mechanics which leads to the game being a clusterfuck at times. Still if you want more Duke Nukem, there really is no harm in playing this. It’s not the worst FPS out there and is definitely far better than the horrendous Red Faction was IMO.

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Tough choice…

I recommend trying it only if you’re a die hard Duke Nukem fan as you will get something out of it so long as you keep your expectations low but even then I really mean it, the game still feels very sterile even to the most die hard fans however I do honestly believe that die hard Duke fans will be able to appreciate this game and will definitely enjoy the many throwbacks this game has especially the walking sections since a lot of it is pretty much a tribute to Duke himself and the game still works as a shooter. For everybody else, just wait for the 20th anniversary remaster for Duke Nukem 3D.


Story/Plot: Decent

Visuals: Decent

Gameplay: Mediocre

Music: Decent

Lifespan: Quite Short

Would you replay? No


Overall: 20160920201056_2


Value: £5.00

Purchase Duke Nukem Forever (PS3)

The Darkness II Review

Well I didn’t expect to be playing this game. The Darkness II was a random punt of mine, I got it from Humble 2k Bundle so it was dirt cheap and the game looked interesting enough to get me to pick it up.

Anyways, The Darkness II is a First Person Shooter based on a comic book series which I don’t know anything about, despite all this, I didn’t have too much trouble following the story, even if it was a little crazy. The story sets you as a guy named Jackie who suffered a traumatic experience and became possessed by a powerful force known as the darkness. Naturally this makes him a badass anti-hero and like all good badasses, he is practically the Godfather of the local Mafia.

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Unfortunately for him, the darkness inside him attracts trouble and as such he has to deal with an enemy faction known as the Brotherhood who seek to harness the powers of The Darkness for themselves.

Now the only issue I have with the game’s storyline is that they don’t really build on the whole “mafia” family thing, perhaps they did in the original game but if you jumped into this game without playing the original the pacing of the game is very concise and this is very much to its detriment for newcomers trying to experience the complete story but those who played the original game might appreciate this since they don’t need all the extra exposition.

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Despite this the plot itself is very straightforward and easy to follow but for newcomers such as myself it may lack a certain level of depth that you come to expect from most games. Still, I don’t think story is particularly important in these types of games however, it’s easy to tell that The Darkness II tries to deliver a solid narrative experience and while the narrative does its job, it feels kinda rushed. Even those who are fans of the original may realize this pretty quickly as the game doesn’t last that long to begin with.

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You will frequently encounter these monologue sections where Jackie talks about himself and The Darkness. It doesn’t really connect to the story in any way though.

Visually, the game is pretty good, there are lots of vibrant colors in this game similar to that of the Bioshock series, if you have played any of the Bioshock games then you will know what to expect here. Needless to say, the game still has that dark tone in order to reflect on the whole “darkness” theme this game is going for. You can tell that the developers wanted to make you feel like the darkness and not just some random dude with a pair of handguns.

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In a way you could say that The Darkness II opts for a similar visual style to Shadows Of the Damned in a lot of ways and you wouldn’t be far from wrong. You could also say that it feels similar to Painkiller in a lot of ways however because of the focus on the narrative, the visuals don’t give the game the same feeling as Painkiller as they were opting for a completely different approach. Still I do like this visual style and it really befits the comic book world that they’re trying to replicate.

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There really isn’t much to say about the music, it was just… forgettable I guess. It’s mostly just ambient sound which doesn’t really work with a narrative driven game like The Darkness II even though I saw the reasoning behind it, it just doesn’t do anything for me, nor does it stand out. Then again, that’s just my opinion so make of that what you will.

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The game does have a few ambient quirks in the game’s hub area, the mansion and while exploring this hub is somewhat enjoyable, I wish a lot of the events that occur there don’t have any relevance to the game’s story which is a shame, I was hoping everything would tie in. It is nice that there is a cool looking hub area though as it was fun to explore.

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Gameplay wise the game is rather innovative though this is sometimes to the game’s detriment which I will get to later. Regardless there are lots of different ways to mow down your enemies. Not only do you have guns which can shoot enemies but you also have powerful demonic tentacles coming out of your body. These can be used in all kinds of different ways and it adds a lot of variety to the game and allows you to play in all kinds of different ways.

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Like with most modern FPS, there is a leveling system in the form of skill trees which you can use to put points into each of your skills. I do think the skill trees work quite well in this game as the darkness allows you to experiment with different playstyles and as such the skill trees allow you to enhance these playstyles based on personal preferences, that being said, while the skill trees do let you focus on a specific set of powers, it doesn’t take away from the experimentation the game has to offer.

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Of course the game likes to throw different types of enemies at you and each one responds to each playstyle differently, certain playstyles work better than others in certain situations. Some encounters can be dealt with quickly when the right tools are available, some can be quite tricky if you don’t know how to approach them. There is a lot of thinking on your feet in this game and this would have been great if the game wasn’t so incredibly clunky.

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First of all I’d like to talk about the controls. If you are playing the PC version, by all means play with a gamepad, the keyboard controls are poorly optimized and it shows. This game is almost as complicated to play on a Keyboard as Freespace, there are so many keys you will need to press spread out all over and this can make things chaotic in the heat of things.

This game loves to overwhelm you a lot but unlike the story, the pacing of the gameplay is actually quite slow. Jackie himself moves at a snail’s pace and though there is a sprint button, the controls are so bad that you’ll never use it effectively.

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Additionally there are a few annoying features that this game brings to the table. The first one being the heart consumption system. While this is a wonderful idea in concept, it doesn’t work very well simply due to the fact that you have to constantly press E to consume souls *cough* hearts (sorry, I’ve played too much Painkiller) and doing this in the heat of battle is essential if you want to stay alive. This means you are constantly mashing keys aimlessly to keep up with the overwhelming gameplay.

The second and quite possibly the biggest annoyance is the light system. Basically if you approach any light, your screen will blur out and you will lose literally all of your abilities (including the ability to eat hearts) for as long as you are in it. This gets even more frustrating when they throw in enemies which have torches to completely disable you. The worst part of this is that to kill them effectively you have to shoot out the tiny little torch in their hands, this can be rather irritating when you’re in the middle of a huge gunfight as you need pin point accuracy to do it.

The light! the liiight!!!

The light… the liiight!!!

The biggest problem with it though is that it breaks up the gameplay. It makes it so that nearly every 2 steps there is a light illuminating the path and it’s very difficult to tell what is light and what isn’t. Some lights can only be destroyed by destroying generators, some lights can’t even be destroyed at all. The worst part is trying to locate all of the lights as they can sometimes be in very hard to find places and of course not all of them can be destroyed anyways which is extremely frustrating since you are constantly searching for them, even in the middle of battle.

I mean sure, I do get the gist of the whole “light” idea, it fits the concept perfectly but it isn’t executed all that well in the gameplay. A lot of the times you will find the game to be a bit too overwhelming for these reasons. Jackie’s slow movement speed makes dodging bullets a pain and it usually comes down to an “act before you think” scenario, similar to Leningrad in Painkiller, the only difference being that whereas Painkiller’s gameplay is very fast paced and fluid, The Darkness II’s gameplay feels very sluggish. and this can often make the game very frustrating.

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However these flaws are still outweighed by the game’s strengths and I do think The Darkness II was an enjoyable romp for the most part. The darkling sections were a nice change of pace as they favored a more stealthy approach which I personally think that this game befit better to be honest and the game’s variety makes it really fun. if you consider yourself to be a fan of games Like Shadows Of The Damned, I’d give this a try as it has a very similar style going for it. Though the game may be sluggish and frustrating at times it manages to keep the player engaged through its variety, if you can get past its annoyances, you will probably enjoy The Darkness II’s gameplay a lot.

All in all, The Darkness II is an enjoyable romp that will last you for about 4-5 hours, its short length may be off-putting but if you can pick it up for under £5.00 it’s definitely worth a punt. I personally wouldn’t spend any more than £20.00 on this though due to its short length bit I do think you will find some enjoyment out of this.


Story/Plot: Satisfactory

Visuals: Good

Music: Forgettable

Gameplay: Satisfactory

Lifespan: Too Short

Would You Replay? No


 

Overall: Satisfactory

 


 

Value: £10.00

 
Purchase The Darkness II (PS3)

Painkiller Playthrough

Painkiller Playthrough

Here is my playthrough of the legendary Painkiller, easily my favorite first person shooter of all time. I uploaded this to Youtube a while back so that I could keep a record of it because I just love looking back at this awesome game. Feel free to watch it if you’re interested.

This isn’t so much of an in-depth guide moreso a playthrough for fun, I have every tarot card available so I cannot show you how to get them. However I may find secrets in the game that you may or may not know about.

Cemetary

The first level starts you off with the basic group of enemies, nice and easy, i do like the atmosphere too. Funnily enough this level has some very unique enemies for the most part which are never seen again throughout the entire game and don’t reappear until Overdose.

Atrium Complex

A bit of a boring level :/ But it serves it’s purpose, gets you used to dealing with so many enemies at once ald lets you practice a little with the Stakegun too. Still it’s easily one of the least impressive levels in the game and it just feels randomly put there as if it’s some kind of training level. The level design is similar to another level later on but not as good in my opinion.

Catacombs

I have a love hate relationship with this level. As much as i love the music and the simple yet detailed underground burial tunnels, a concept that is a staple of games such as this, the enemies in this level can prove quite annoying and theres an annoying glitch where the game crashes due to being unable to pop in the bridge. Plus the so called miniboss of this level can be quite tricky though since you’re watching this, you’ll probably know how to deal with him. This will probably be the first level you’ll ever want to use your cards in as it can get quite overwhelming later on though since i brought vitality with me, i didn’t have much problem. In any case, the super health below the bridge can help out a lot otherwise.

Cathedral

If you pay close attention, you’ll recognize the main hall from the intro cutscene. If the general is this close all along then why did Daniel go all the way back to the cemetery and through atrium complex and catacombs? You know what? Screw the story, this is Painkiller!
There’s a fair bit of everything in this level, you have a wide variety of enemies, mostly the same ones you fought in atrium complex but this time they’re tougher. There’s also a miniboss thrown in there too. I like the ambiance music of this level but i didn’t waste time listening to it as you’ll be able to hear it in the next video anyways.

Enclave

(Contains nudity)

This is the only uncensored cut scene I recorded besides the ending because I decided that my censorship skills are absolutely terrible. I censored them due to Youtube’s nudity policy but then I looked at the videos and thought it looked awkward… so yeah, sorry about that

(Censored version, though kinda unnecessary since kids shouldn’t be watching this game anyways)

This level isn’t really much of a level, it’s actually the first boss of the game and is easily my second favorite. The Necrogiant is huge, has spikes for feet and has a wide variety of powerful attacks. The main difficulty of this boss battle is the variety of attacks he has at his disposal, he has more attacks than any other boss in the game and can devastate you if you’re unprepared. The tarot card condition, despite what many people say is possible on your first playthrough so long as you have the haste tarot card. Gold tarot cards will make this big headed fool a joke, that’s why i’m not going to use them, in his second phase, you can hide under the grave markers where the armor and ammo is to avoid the tornado and there’s health in the middle if you need it so he’s not that tough.

Prison

This level is considerably more difficult than the last levels as you are introduced to mp40 wielding hell angels and they will put up quite a fight if you’re not prepared. Try to stick to the corners and snap them with the shotgun before the have a chance to barrage you with bullets. If you’re playing on insomnia/daydream then this level will be unavailable to you.

Opera House

Ninja’s in an Opera House? What am i missing here?
In any case i take way too long bopping around in this level and die a lot too so i had to nerf the quality so i could upload faster. If you’re playing on insomnia this will be the first level of chapter 2 and unlike prison which has many corner’s to take advantage of, opera house is naturally very open but it has it’s own fair share of nasties. In any case you can’t help but take time to appreciate the aesthetic design of this level, it even has a few easter eggs.

Asylum

(WARNING: If you’re easily frightened, don’t watch this video)

This level is supposed to be a breather level but how the hell could you consider a level like this to be easy going? The disturbing ambience of this level is impressive nonetheless. Keep an eye out for useful fire hydrants to use to your advantage (if you’re going for the tarot card) and watch out for lurkers behind corners, they hurt a lot.

Snowy Bridge

I hope you’re ready for more ninjas because there’s plenty of them here. Despite it’s name, there’s more to this level than you might think. There’s even a nice cable car ride thrown in there allowing you to take in the beautiful alpine views. They really thought of everything when designing this level. It also introduces the series’ most iconic weapon (besides the Painkiller itself) the electrodriver but i was having too much fun using my stake gun that i completely forgot it was there.

Town

I always love these themes. This level reminds me of running through Stratholme back when i used to play World Of Warcraft only with less rat traps, where’s the rat traps!? Watch out for Leper Monks who throw corpses at you, they can also hit you when up close with an invisible magic attack.

Swamp

This guy will deal 50 damage on nightmare (forgot how much he does on trauma but makes very little differrence) His tentacles deal 50 damage each, this can total to 100 damage i.e one hit ko unless you have blessing/vitality. This battle is the reason why i used Vitality for this run because it’s a serious pain in the ♥♥♥ boss who can 1 shot you in the cheapest way possible. Oh and by the way the shining ball attack does 100 damage so if you’re not using tarot cards, it’s a one shot kill. To kill “Swamp Thing” (how original…) you have to shoot the bubbles next to him until he turns solid, then you shoot him until he turns into a liquid again. Then you have to shoot the bubbles around the map which shoot other bubbles. Try to shoot the bubbles when they’re near him to weaken him until he goes solid then finish him with your shotgun.

(Swamp Bloopers)

As you can see, I failed multiple attempts at this guy

Train Station

Next stop… the most infuriating level so far… I swear, this level is NEVER easy. Getting the tarot card is hell on this level as you cannot collect a single soul. Now if you see the enemy count, you’ll realize how punishing this level is. The secrets also become a pain to get to as well, so much so that i skipped them all. I also missed the one carriage secret and checked all the carriages making me feel like an idiot. Thankfully I’m not doing a tarot card run, if I was, this video would take hours to record.

Abandoned Factory

Now this is my kind of level, 100’s of enemies in large packs swarming at you with tonnes of explosives littered everywhere and an awesome metal theme playing in the background. That’s what Painkiller is all about and this level illustrates that very clearly. Time to put that rocket launcher to good use…

Sadly i missed every single secret because i was way too busy having fun blowing up skeleton soldiers. God why don’t they make FPS like this anymore?

Military Base

I had to record this twice so expect a few jump cuts.

Despite the seemingly limitless amount of ammo you will get throughout this level, it is considerably less chaotic than the last level. Yes there’s tanks and mortars to watch out for but for the most part the enemy waves are a lot easier to manage. Nevertheless, it’s an enjoyable level but with a lot of recycled enemies you’ll have fought plenty of in the last level which might get a bit anemic.

In theory you would think this level to be a chaingun level but it felt more of a shotgun level for the most part (mainly due to those Maso Commando’s). Thankfully, Military Base combines both interior and exterior areas giving it a little more variety than the other two levels, tanks included. It just takes forever to get through which can get a little tedious.

Ruins

The Guardian does more damage to the actual level than he does to you, filling the level with debris blocking your path making it difficult to move around. His weakpoint is his massive hammer but afterwards pretty much anything goes. So long as you stay back and can weave your way through the wreckage, this boss will be a breeze. His only attacks are melee (though his hammer attacks can shake the ground so you have to be jumping to avoid them but that’s what bunnyhopping is for) so he’s pretty easy to avoid, the difficulty of the battle is moving through all the rubble. Put simply, if it wasn’t a ruins before, it’ll definitely be a ruins when this guy is done.

Castle

This level was a tad disappointing, I imagined it would be bigger but it wasn’t what I quite had in mind. Perhaps I’ve played too many fantasy games. Thankfully Painkiller Overdose’s Haunted Valley has a much bigger castle, in fact the entire level is 3x the size of this one. Probably one of the few things Mindware improved on.

In any case I forgot to cut this video and to be honest I fail so much that there is little point in hiding it. This level is a breather level for the most part. With the exception of the dogs and the annoying kleer-like enemies, the enemies for the most part are quite easy tbh. I show all the holy items required to get the tarot card.

The Palace

As much as i love this level which i really do, the platforming sections never cease to annoy me every time. I skipped the super health because not only was it near pointless for me to get it (as i already had super health) but it would have taken hours to get it. To get it, you have to use the yellow ladder and jump round to one of the balconies and then you have to pray and jump onto the pillar. This level introduces a lot of new enemies including the ever annoying templars, be sure to take them out first or they’ll ruin your day.

Babel

This is quite possibly the hardest level in the entire game overall. Sure Factory on Trauma can get quite tough simply due to the sheer ton of enemies as is Forest if you count the tarot card condition but Babel without Tarot cards is simply put insane on Trauma. Thankfully there are a few cheap tricks you can pull off to avoid those damn templar barrages such as covering behind pillars and you can use Tarot cards which possibly makes it slightly easier than the next level but still the enemies of the next level are weak, if a tad annoying. In any case this and the next level are arguably the toughest levels in the game overall, this being tougher overall since it’s hard on every run be it Trauma or Nightmare, though considerably more easier on Nightmare if you’re not doing a no gold tarot run like i am.

Forest

Lots and lots of enemies… and they’re all weak, surely this must be easy… unless you’re going for the final tarot card. Doing so is pointless unless you’re a completionist but to do so you cannot use ANY tarot cards, not even Vitality (which i am using) so i make this level look a little easier than it actually is as you are stuck with 100 health and have to survive against the massive clusters of weak enemies. quantity over quality comes to mind here to pull out the rocket launcher and go crazy, try not to blow yourself up though.

Oh and by the way in case you are wondering, this level is only accessible via Trauma. If you’re playing on Nightmare difficulty or lower you will skip straight to the final boss… only the game isn’t over for you yet for you. Essentially this is the penultimate level of the game if you choose to brave through the Trauma difficulty.

Tower (Nightmare Difficulty)

Alastor is the final boss of the game (unless you’re playing on Nightmare difficulty) and he is no pushover. I’d say he’s easily one of the most overlooked boss fights in a FPS i’ve ever fought. The hard part of the battle is the fall damage you receive in between sections and dodging his attacks can be a nightmare with all the debris spread out all over.

Alastor has 4 phases, the first phase he will pop out and attack you from the air, he is really weak in this phase but you have to watch out for the falling rain of fire. His second phase gives you an armor and a super health. IF YOU ARE PLAYING NIGHTMARE/TRAUMA, ARE NOT USING GOLD TAROT CARDS AND DO NOT PICK THIS UP, YOU’RE DEAD.

(The following levels are inaccessible on Trauma difficulty)

City On Water

Chapter 5’s levels consist of mostly water themed environments so you’ll want to be careful not to accidentally fall in as Daniel can’t swim. On the other hand the water can prove to be quite amusing as you can push enemies in and watch them drown. City On Water is no exception and it’s very easy to fall in when you’re bunny hopping everywhere.

This level has wonderful architecture, very much like Venice except there is a deep red aura in the sky which possibly symbolizes that the gates of hell are very close by. All i can say is, god must really hate Venice. In any case, it’s concepts like this which keep this game fresh and exciting.

This level has some of the most annoying secrets to get, i show all the easy ones but the hard ones are a pain to get…

Oh and I killed one of the enemies with a weapon normally unavailable in Painkiller’s base game simply because it’s a pain to hit but you’re supposed to use the chaingun.

Docks

Another water themed level, unlike the previous level however there is plenty of space for you to move around, this convenience is soon thrown out of the water when you encounter the well armed enemies this level throws at you (see what i did there?).

This is probably the toughest level on Nightmare difficulty. Babel being the hardest overall, especially if you choose to use tarot cards on Trauma. The enemies have nail guns and even rocket launchers here, so you will have to outgun them before they get nasty.

There are also a hell of a lot of secrets here with platforming to boot making this an interesting level as there are multiple routes to take depending on your platforming skill. The easy path allows you to completely skip an arena should you wish to, the hard path which yields you holy items at the cost of ones time gives you another area you must get through. I skip a lot of the platforming due to time constraints and there are a lot of cut points in this video.

Old Monastery

Time to meet some familiar faces… but this time they have a few tricks up their sleeves. This level is quite unique as it is a collect-a-thon level, your goal is to collect all the pentagrams to open the gates of hell (The gates of hell located in a monestary? Oh the irony) and there are multiple routes to take (though one pentagram requires collecting another to access it and if you choose the long route, you have to save it for last). There’s quite a lot of platforming here. There is also a lot of water but it’s thankfully shallow. I will show you the quickest and most straightforward path to take but if you want to get the pentagrams in a different order, have fun wasting time. Do note that the one in the small building with the bell is only accessed after grabbing the pentagram on the hill (the one the game intends you to go for first).

If you want to take the alternate route for whatever reason, go into the water, jump through the stalagmites in the middle until you reach the other side, there is a rock here that you could theoretically jump over to reach the other side but you can’t instead you have to go in the water and jump up the rock face, you’ll know you’re in the final room when you see a giant maw and a pentagram symbol etched in a rock with a bunch of rock columns used as a path down to the final area, jump up the rocks and you’ll eventually be in the penultimate arena and encounter enemies. After that there is a gap to jump over which is hard to jump over from this side but if you jump up the edge of the wall, you can cross that gap and you’re free to explore the rest of the level… backwards. Of course once you get all the pentagrams inside, the door to the monastery will still be locked so you will have to go all the way back to the beginning of the level the way you came to collect the other pentagrams and then jump back into the water to the final area and finish the level. Then you can question yourself on why you bothered with this needlessly complicated route.

Hell

War. war never changes… especially when it’s frozen in time.

Honestly this level feels like a war museum… only with endless waves of demon souls who all want you dead. An interesting take on Hell. Easily my favorite level in the game. I love how the ambiance changes from demonic chants, to clashing swords, to WW1 comm chatter (shamelessly ripped from military base) and finally the sound everyone fears…

Lucifer is basically a puzzle boss, he’s practically invincible but he’s pretty easy when you figure out how to kill him, if you don’t you might spend a while wondering what to do. Lucifer will attack you with his sword and will sent meteorites at you. To beat him you have to shoot your morph shots at the meteors to stun him after he is stunned he will throw his sword, a single morph shot at this sword kills him instantly.

After he’s dead, have fun exploring the now hostile-free hell… or you can just watch the video the whole way through.

Tower (Trauma Difficulty)

When you beat hell (the final level of the game) you unlock Trauma difficulty. This requires you to play chapters 1 – 4 again but with tougher enemies and no souls to heal you. This is the REAL final boss of the game and this time, he means business!

This boss is near impossible without tarot cards, I’ve tried and tested, the final fall deals 135 damage (possibly more) on Trauma, even with the super health which gives you 100 extra health after the first fall isn’t enough. My new set up is Vitality and Last Stand, last stand gives you 33 life after death. This way I can make the fight more enjoyable to watch than just gunning him down with iron will abuse. In any case, the battle is exactly the same as last time, only harder, Alastor has much more health than he does on Nightmare and he loves to breath fire, you want to stick close to him with your shotgun to prevent that from happening.

If you want to beat him without tarot cards at all, you will have to get lucky and land on the pillars to minimize fall damage.

Bonus:

Out Of Snowy Bridge

Train Station (Hell And Damnation Xmas DLC)

Multiplayer

Just a sneak peek at the multiplayer experience of Painkiller. It was cut short because the other player disconnected.