Odin Sphere/Odin Sphere Leifthrasir Review

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Imagine A Valkyrie Profile beat em up game where you get to play 5 different characters each with their own perspective in the story. Sounds cool right? Well the guys at Vanillaware seemed to think so and decided to create a game that would do just that… well maybe not exactly that but they came very close. That game was Odin Sphere released in 2007… a year after the release of Valkyrie Profile 2… surely that’s not a coincidence.

Now when I heard that there was a remaster of Odin Sphere in the works, I didn’t really think much of it. You see during its time of release I was in the middle of playing the original Odin Sphere and I was originally going to review that game by itself. Thank god I didn’t because Odin Sphere on the PS2 was a piece of shit. Now you might be wondering how bad it could possibly be?

How about you watch this video and make your own judgement:

So after watching the video you can clearly see that this game has a lot of issues. Let me explain. First of all, the most obvious issue is the fact that you have 1 attack button. What this means is that you are literally mashing the square button the entire time. Sure you can use the directional buttons to mix things up but they really don’t blend in well with the main combo attack that can be used by simply pressing square over and over again. As such there is no way to string together combos. All you are doing is mashing square over and over again.

But don’t just think you can just sit there and mash the square button constantly. Just like in Star Ocean Till The End Of Time, Odin Sphere has a special gauge designed to punish spamming… when in reality all it does is leave the player incapable of doing anything for a few seconds. In other words it is completely pointless and only exists to give an illusion that the game is actually encouraging players to use a wide variety of attacks when it clearly isn’t the case.

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This my friends is what the game likes to call the POW meter. It is a meter that is consumed every single time you use an attack or a guard action and it recovered by either walking around or simply doing nothing. You can also recovery it by absorbing phozons off of dead enemies but doing so requires you to perform an animation which leaves you vulnerable. Once the POW meter is depleted the game not only prevents you from attacking but it also inflicts the dizzy status ailment immobilizing you leaving you vulnerable to being attacked. Talk about adding salt to the wound.

The attack animations are quite detailed but unfortunately the frames used to perform these attacks take ridiculously long whereas the frames used for certain enemy attacks can be extremely quick, in fact one particular enemy can hurt you before the actual attack frame is executed. This can be really frustrating as you feel crippled compared to pretty much every other enemy in the game. To make things worse, certain bosses tend to heal themselves or be healed by other enemies. This can be extremely frustrating as when they are healed their health bar is restored to full. Add to this the fact that these healer enemies respawn and you have a really tedious and annoying boss fight to deal with.

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Oh and don’t think that boss fights are few and far between. Each stage has not only a single main boss but also has several minibosses for you to fight, these minibosses are just as difficult as the actual boss fights, sometimes more. You will often find yourself stuck on a boss only to beat it and eventually run straight into another boss fight. This can be infuriating to deal with and can make each stage a painful slog to play.

Odin Sphere is a game that focuses heavily on its alchemy system which is surprisingly pretty complicated for those who don’t know what they’re doing. Basically potions have different effects when mixed with mandragoras but they also have a numerical value. This numerical value is a variable that decides what potion you brew with each material.

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Each material has several different combinations based on its number. These combinations are only tied to even numbers however, odd numbers will have no effect with any ingredient and only single digit numbers affect the outcome of the potion so if your numerical value is 10/20 you will still get the same result as you would get with a 0 but it will release extra phozons as a result. You can multiply the numerical value by adding more ingredients to the material, the value the material is multiplied depends on the item. The results of the potion vary based on the numerical value and the type of mandragora used to create the potion.

And don’t think that the alchemy system is just a novelty. Expect to brew dozens of potions and be sure to keep stocked up on them but don’t forget to use them when the time is right. Potions can save you a lot of hassle, this is true in both the original game and the remaster but especially true in the original. There are offensive potions such as napalm allowing you to deal a large chunk of damage to an enemy and healing potions which are surprisingly quite rare since the main ingredient for it is hard to come by. This is somewhat problematic as healing potions tend to be your main source of healing early on and you’ll likely end up backtracking to acquire more of them.

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In the original Odin Sphere, phozons had to be absorbed manually using the R1 button. In Odin Sphere Leifthrasir Phozons are absorbed automatically but you can still manually absorb them if you want to.

In addition to all this there are potions that protect/heal certain status ailments, these are also vital as well since to add insult to injury, status ailments can be devastating in this game. The poison status effect will sap your hp to 1 very quickly so using an antidote quickly will save you a lot of food/potions, the burn status is also quite strong too with a similar effect which can be stopped by using a cooler. Then there’s quite possibly the most annoying status ailments. These are freeze and dizzy.

Freeze does what you think it does, it freezes you in place leaving you completely vulnerable for an attack which can be devastating in this game. Dizzy stuns you for a short period of time just like running out of POW which can be a real pain. Pretty much every single status ailment can turn the tide of battle in the enemy’s favor very quickly especially the freeze/dizzy status ailment as being inflicted by those ailments often leads to the player’s death since they are vulnerable to any attack and enemies won’t hesitate to take advantage of your misfortune.

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Goddamnit…

Hopefully I’ve illustrated to you just how frustrating the original Odin Sphere is which is why I recommend against playing it. I say this because there is a “classic mode” option in the remaster of the game which is exactly what you think it is. It’s the original game in HD. If you don’t want to put yourself through this torment then please for the love of god don’t play classic mode, it will break you… no I’m serious, it will break you… mentally.

Now that that’s out of the way, let us talk about the remaster itself. Odin Sphere Leifthrasir is not just a mere HD re-release like most re-releases tend to be these days. Story and cutscenes aside, Odin Sphere Leifthrasir is a completely different game to the original. They have completely wiped the slate clean and started from scratch, essentially recreating the entire game from the ground up. It’s incredible to see how so much has changed with this re-release it literally feels like a whole new experience altogether. In other words, fans of the previous game will find a lot of new content here even though the game’s story is still pretty much the same as it was in the original.

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The question is, does this 9 year game still hold up today or was it best left in the dust? Now I’ll admit, I was eager to get this game simply due to the fact that the original game had so much potential underneath despite all its flaws and I seriously mean that. Odin Sphere is one of those games that I really tried to like despite my infuriating experience. I wanted to keep playing the game to experience more simply because I didn’t want to give up on it.

On paper, Odin Sphere had a lot going for it. A simple yet engaging story with multiple perspectives and a great soundtrack composed by Hitoshi Sakimoto accompanied with bright and colorful visuals in order to create a lush atmosphere that would have captivated me had it not been for the abysmal gameplay. Thankfully, Odin Sphere Leifthrasir not only fixes many of the issues that plagued the original game but it also brings more to the table.

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For starters using regular attacks no longer consumes POW, instead there are new items called phozon prisms which contain psypher skills. These abilities consume either POW or PP when used, the latter being a replacement for the phozon gauge which has been removed. In addition, running out of POW does not make you dizzy either which was a big nuisance in the original game. I like how they found a good use for the POW gauge rather than just removing it entirely, it merely adds an extra layer of depth and flexibility to the game and that is never a bad thing.

In addition to the new psypher skills, there are also new regular attacks to experiment with allowing for even more flexibility. There is also an added dodge button which can be quite handy at avoiding attacks quickly. You can dodge both on ground and in the air but on the ground you can dodge limitlessly making it a great way to quickly maneuver around each stage as well as a great way to avoid getting hit. Dodging doesn’t make you invincible but it can let you slip away from attacks easily. Dodging is really smooth and easy to execute so it’s a good idea to take advantage of it as often as possible.

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Guarding no longer consumes POW and all characters are given the ability to guard making it a more viable option to protect yourself against enemy attacks. Guards can only take so many hits but they let you avoid attacks in situations where movement is limited, They can also help you deal with annoying projectile attacks and often put you in a better position to counter your enemy making it a more viable option than dodging in some cases though if you get hit from behind then your guard will break so be careful.

Moving the left analog stick in each direction while guarding allows you to perform the additional standard attacks I spoke of allowing you to weave in and out of a guard easily allowing for more passive aggressive play. Psypher skills can be set to the circle button or used from the menu, it’s great how players have the option between seamlessly performing their psypher skills and pausing the game to select a psypher skill. Up to 4 moves can be assigned to the circle button and its associated directional inputs so they can be used in a pinch.

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Each psypher skill you acquire can also be upgraded using phozons collected from enemies in order to enhance their effects which adds a little bit of personalization to the game allowing you to customize your experience making Odin Sphere feel more like an RPG than its predecessor. In addition to psypher skills, as you level up you will acquire ability points which can be spent on passive abilities for even further customization. All I can say is that it’s about time this game had some great character management as the original was sorely lacking in it despite being considered an RPG by many.

In the original game you would either absorb phozons from dead enemies to level up your psypher level (attack damage) or you would plant seeds which would absorb phozons in order to obtain food items which would heal you and level up your hit points. This essentially means that you had 2 levels to manage. Odin Sphere Leifthrasir merges both levels into one so that you don’t have to worry about your food to psypher ratio which was kind of annoying as your hit points level would often be lower than your psypher level simply due to the fact that it was so tedious to level up a character’s hit points because of how long it took to grow seeds.

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So to rectify this issue, both levels merged to become a single level which increases all your stats. In addition they added the ability to stack seeds in order to save the player from having to constantly go back and forth between menus to plant multiple seeds. Another problem with the original is that if you absorbed phozons it would cost part of your psypher gauge in order to release them. Odin Sphere Leifthrasir adds the ability to release phozons by holding R1 + Square. The top right hand corner of the screen shows the total number of phozons you have and you can use them as not only a form of currency in the upgrade screen but also to feed seeds so they will grow into food.

In the original Odin Sphere there were restaurants which would cook meals for you giving you a huge chunk of hit point exp. This was vital if you wanted to get through the game smoothly and as such you would often have to backtrack to different levels to farm ingredients including mandragoras and seeds, it was tedious. In addition specific coins were also required to pay for the meal. Odin Sphere Leifthrasir splits this system in half by adding a new touring restaurant that appears in rest areas on the map. This means that players can eat food on the go rather than having to constantly enter and exit the level to get access to the restaurants.

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Unlike the restaurants however, the touring restaurant doesn’t require any money, rather you are required to bring the ingredients necessary to cook the dish. The restaurants themselves however only take specific types of coin but do not require ingredients. This allows players to level up their hit points easier in a way that befits them. Those who wish to gather the right materials for a meal can level up their food level at the touring restaurant. On the other hand, those who do not want to have to search for specific materials in each level can use the regular restaurants. Ideally you will want to utilize both for the maximum exp gains. You can also buy takeaway food that can be used in battle but the exp gains are lower than other dishes.

This is great for people who enjoy invested empowerment as it constantly throws exp rewards at you… but you have to earn them. Ingredients can be purchased from shops but they can be expensive, special coins are often obtained from treasure chests littered around each stage. You can also be rewarded with more/higher quality special coins by getting a higher rank for beating each fight zone meaning that if you play well, you will be able to level up higher. In addition as there is only one leveling system in this game, food doesn’t just level up your hit points it levels up all of your stats. This is a pretty big deal.

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How does she remain so dainty after eating so much food?

One of the more interesting challenges that comes with playing Odin Sphere Leifthrasir is managing your resources in a way that best suits the situation. As important as it is to eat food, it is also very important to keep stocked up on potions. There are a lot of new potions this time round, many of the spells from the original have been transformed into consumable potions which kinda makes more sense when you consider the fact that many of the characters shared the same spells. Now that the psypher skills are more-or-less unique to each character, it makes sense to separate the shared magic and to instead use it as a consumable damage dealing item.

If the original Odin Sphere has taught me anything it’s don’t be conservative with potions. Potions can really deal a lot of hurt towards enemies and can really help turn a bad situation around for you as well as to buy you some time. Things can get pretty chaotic at times to the point that even the psypher skills don’t provide strong enough crowd control. Damage dealing potions act as an extension to your psypher skills allowing you to really build up the hits and can be really handy for crowd control, especially when you’re trying to position enemies up for an attack. This can be really handy against bosses too as they can take a good chunk of a bosses health away.

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Crafting potions is a lot easier than before. Rather than relying on the numerical value to decide the outcome, the numerical value is now used to determine the strength of the potion as well as other factors. Crafting different types of potions is as simple as adding up to 3 of the same type of mandragora to a material. The type of potion you make depends on how many of the same type of mandragora you put in. Each mandragora has different potion recipes  linked to it, you can find them out by collecting them over the course of the game but they’re easy enough to figure out. I would also like to note that potions will no longer generate phozons when crafted which means that you can no longer abuse the value system for phozons.

Just about any item can affect the value of a potion. Other items such as seeds, accessories and even junk have their own recipes connected to them so you will want to try all kinds of items to find out what results you can come up with. To make things easier, there is an option to stack multiple ingredients as you make a potion. This not only speeds up the process but it allows you to preview the results of a crafted potion without having to actually make it. This makes potion crafting a lot easier to grasp than it was in the original and it only takes a few minutes of experimenting to find every single combination. You can also craft some really overpowered potions early on if you want to so you can still break the game… though it will come at a cost of course.

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When it comes to surviving in Odin Sphere, preparation is key. You’re going to spend quite a while doing simple yet somewhat time-consuming character management. While this is not everyone’s cup of tea it’s important to realize that Odin Sphere isn’t just a mindless beat em up, it’s also an RPG. While the core gameplay really focuses on the beat em up action, you are expected to manage your character’s stats and inventory often. Thankfully Odin Sphere makes this easier as it cuts away all the tedium so you will spend far less time planting and crafting than in the original.

Those looking for more of a challenge may be disappointed by the fact that many of these new mechanics added to the game seem dumbed down when compared to the original. Fear not, Odin Sphere Leifthrasir acknowledges these changes and offers even more challenges to the player in order to balance things out. Bosses have a lot more hit points this time round and rather than having a single health bar, their health is presented in multiple chunks. on other words you have several health bars to deplete. The good thing about this is that bosses will no longer be able to heal their health to maximum if you have taken out a chunk of their health.

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If you somehow managed to beat the original Odin Sphere you probably have all of the basics figured out but don’t think you’ll be able to use the same strategies as before. Odin Sphere Leifthrasir introduces new enemies, many of which are bosses. These bosses can be brutal… so much so that they put the original game’s bosses to shame though I won’t deny that many of them can be really fun to fight. Returning enemies also come new and improved with new abilities to keep you on your toes. You will have to be more careful when fighting these bosses this time round and be prepared to eat food and use potions often, you’re going to need them. All in all the standard enemies and the bosses offer a satisfying level of challenge and death is never too punishing, you can also retry a fight right from the beginning at any time retaining any items you used.

The stage map is a lot more intricate this time round. The original Odin Sphere’s stage map consisted of battle stages, boss stages and rest stages. Odin Sphere Leifthrasir mixes things up adding brand new stage layouts each with their own unique environments which is a pretty big deal considering the fact that the original Odin Sphere re-used the same environments for each stage which became quite stale over time and appeared to be somewhat lazy. I don’t know whether this was to do with budget issues or not but this was a pretty big problem considering the fact that the original Odin Sphere’s art design was the game’s biggest selling point. The new environments are just as stunning as they were in the original and they really help to flesh out each location to give them more of an identity.

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Some passages are too small for the character to fit through. These pink plants allow you to transform into a miniature version of your character in order for you to access small passages, keep an eye out for them.

In addition to all this, Odin Sphere Leifthrasir adds a brand new soundtrack to accompany these new environments. Fear not, the original music is still there, it’s just not as common as it was in the original. Many of the original ambient tracks now play in the rest stages, the battle music remains the same for the most part as does the boss music. The cutscenes remain completely unchanged from the original and have the exact same music playing in each one. I really enjoy the new soundtrack that has been added into this game, some of the new tracks are even better than the originals, that’s not to say the originals are bad but the new tracks are even better which isn’t surprising considering the fact that Hitoshi Sakimoto returns to compose many of the game’s tracks.

That just about covers all of the new additions to Odin Sphere Leifthrasir but aside from all the improved mechanics and additions, how does the rest of the game hold up? While the gameplay may have been abysmal, the story itself wasn’t half bad. Like Valkyrie Profile, Odin Sphere’s setting takes a lot of inspiration from norse mythology although Odin Sphere goes a little crazy with it. there are several nations, each with their own ideals and methods. The character’s you control are often affiliated with each nation and has to deal with the many conflicts each nation is involved in.

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Each book starts at a completely different point in the game’s timeline from a different perspective. Interestingly enough the first book starts half way through the story and finishes right near the end… but once you finish the rest of the books, the events leading prior to the first book become clear. It’s a smart and interesting way to tell the game’s story by putting you straight into the action right from the get go rather than drowning the player in exposition. In doing so, the story manages to bait the player’s curiosity, beckoning them to uncover more.

Despite all this the plot itself feels rather simplistic though that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I find that the story’s execution is the driving force that keeps players coming back for more. I like how rather than telling you what’s going on directly, the game illustrates the situation and presents the player with written notes which explain the story in more detail which can quickly be skimmed through or even skipped should the player wish. These can be viewed at any time in the bookshelf on the book selection screen and in the original they could be found in the prophecies section of the notes.

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There is also a timeline where you can re-watch all the cutscenes which can be handy for those who want to re-watch them. Each cutscene represents a specific point in the timeline so when you see characters cross paths you can see what the other character was doing simply by checking out the other character’s cutscenes that occur around the same time as the current cutscene. This helps link the story better and also helps the player keep track of where they are in the timeline which is very important as certain books start in different places and you will question why something is or isn’t in the other book because of changes made in an earlier book.

It’s interesting to see how each book connects and how each character views one another. I always love the ability to experience multiple perspectives in a game’s story and I can appreciate how Odin Sphere manages to execute this concept so well. While it may not be on the same scale as Warcraft 3, having 5 different characters to play individually is something I believe that more games need to explore.

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The original Odin Sphere was undoubtedly wasted potential. I think the game suffered from a severe lack of budget. Even with its vibrant visuals, interesting story and gorgeous soundtrack, the game itself felt patched together at the last minute. Given more time, I’m sure the developers would have been able to deliver a solid experience. Odin Sphere Leifthrasir proves this. It is a remarkable turnaround for what was once a complete and utter failure of a game.

I think we can all learn a lot from both Odin Sphere and Odin Sphere Leifthrasir. Gameplay is the root of all videogames and while the focus may still be shifted towards the visual and audio department, we cannot forget that these are games to play, not games to look at. Polished shit is still shit and I can’t recommend shit to anyone. Odin Sphere is probably one of the most painful experiences I have ever had in gaming to date. This is why I had to review this both this game and the original simultaneously because Odin Sphere Leifthrasir proves that stripping away flawed mechanics and replacing them with something better can turn shit into diamonds.

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Now I could give this game a higher rating but there are still a few things that annoy me about Odin Sphere Leifthrasir. For starters, using items in the middle of battle is still an issue. The animations still take way too long and I’d rather they were just cut out completely or at least sped up several frames. Even with the gourmet ring, eating food still takes way too long. Why can’t players simply use items on the move rather than just standing there? It really doesn’t blend in well with the gameplay at all and often leaves you open to be attacked which is a nuisance.

One of the additions that didn’t impress me were the shoot-em-up sections with Mercedes. I get that they were trying to mix things up but these sections are frustrating as hell. For starters you are unable to use items and you can only evade backwards not forwards. Also if you die you merely get sent down to the floor below. Fortunately these sections are completely optional to complete though they tease the player by knocking them down to the next section when they die rather than letting them retry which is a pain since you have to use items to heal yourself since you will have 1hp left afterwards.

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Fortunately you are able to retry these sections as the stage map now allows you to warp between stages so you can backtrack easily. This still doesn’t make these SHMUP sections any less painful though. If they allowed the player to dodge forward instead of back then these sections could have been more enjoyable. Sadly this was not the case. While you are often able to choose between multiple stages on the map, these “optional” stages are compulsory to partake in though you aren’t required to finish them.

Another issue that may turn players away from this game is the inventory management. While it has improved considerably from the original Odin Sphere, it is still an issue. The original Odin Sphere gave you bags which had to be picked up and placed in your inventory. You then needed to create a separate bag slot from the inventory by selecting the bag. This was a pain to do if your inventory was full as you had to drop an item, pick up the bag, create a bag slot and pick the item you dropped back up off the floor.

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Thankfully Odin Sphere Leifthrasir fixes this issue by automatically increasing your storage capacity which cuts out all the needless inventory management you had to do. There is also a storage chest which can store numerous items too. The problem is that these storage chests are only in rest areas. While I can’t exactly fault the game for this I can see it being a problem to people who detest inventory management as you will often find yourself with limited space. Plus it is important to save your best items for the bosses so you won’t want to use them in standard fights. Why would you want to when you can use your powerful psypher skills?

In any case I would argue that aside from these minor issues, Odin Sphere Leifthrasir is definitely worth playing for both newcomers and returning fans. I would also recommend this game to people who were disappointed by the original Odin Sphere. It’s just sad that my first time playing this game was single-handedly crushed by the abysmal gameplay of the original. For those who haven’t played the original and are interested in these types of games, never play the original, it’s just not worth your time or money but if you own a PS4 or a Vita then you owe it to yourself to experience Odin Sphere in all its glory by picking up the remaster.

Odin Sphere Leifthrasir Review 5

Can you please stop eating? It’s making me hungry…


Story/Plot: Great
Visuals: Excellent
Gameplay: Excellent
Music: Excellent
Lifespan: Quite Long
Would You Replay? Maybe

Overall: Excellent
silver-star-of-awesome sized

Value: £40.00

Purchase Odin Sphere Leifthrasir (PS4)

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Tales Of Symphonia Review

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I don’t talk enough about the Tales series, maybe because the series has burned me out. I’ve been seeing more and more Tales games get shoveled out every year and each time I see them I kinda get a bitter taste in my mouth. Ever since the release of Star Ocean 5 and Exist Archive, my interest in the Tales series started to dwindle to the point where I had just lost interest in it.

However there’s nothing like a great Tales game to satisfy one’s JRPG cravings and Tales Of Symphonia is the first game that comes to mind when It comes to playing a good old-fashioned run of the mill JRPG. You see, Tales Of Symphonia doesn’t present itself as anything new. At first sight it’s easy to be misled by the game’s slow pacing but I’d advise you not to judge a book by its cover. Tales Of Symphonia is definitely a must play for any JRPG fan, particularly those who enjoy action RPG’s over the conventional turned based.

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As and action RPG, Tales Of Symphonia is often seen as a benchmark and rightfully so.  It was the first 3D Japanese Action RPG to give us a deep and engaging combat system and ultimately served as the demise for the Star Ocean series as a whole. If it wasn’t for Tales Of Symphonia, I don’t think the Tales series would have lasted as long as it has. The series has had a pretty huge legacy and Tales Of Symphonia serves as the pillar that holds it all in place.

Tales Of Symphonia might not seem much at first glance but as a game released in 2003 it has aged magnificently… most of it that is. A lot of people question the popularity of Symphonia, often comparing it to other games in the series. While the Tales series has evolved considerably, there have been a lot of changes to the series that have improved on the formula set by Tales Of Symphonia. As good as this was, future games in the series failed to stand out from its predecessor. While I won’t deny that there were some solid Tales games released after Symphonia, Symphonia kinda feels different from those games.

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There is something about Symphonia that keeps me coming back to it and I think I’ve found out what that something is. For starters, one of the things that made Tales Of Symphonia so iconic is its diverse array of content. There’s no shortage of things to do in this game as the main story has a pretty sizable length and there are plenty of sidequests to experience as you progress through the story and many of them offer some great rewards, usually in the form of titles.

The title system allows players to collect special titles that will alter the character’s stat growth. These titles can be carried over in a new game plus which allows players to customize their character’s growth in future playthroughs. Knowing that nearly every sidequest you complete contributes towards each playthrough gives you more of an incentive to complete them, when it comes to rewarding players, Tales Of Symphonia has a lot to offer.

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This alone would be a mere novelty. What truly makes Tales Of Symphonia a memorable experience lies in its gameplay and story. While the story of Tales Of Symphonia might appear quite generic at first glance, it manages to stay fresh with its strong themes. The characters themselves are very much the same, on the surface they are cardboard cut outs but each of them has their own place in the game’s story and play their role well enough. Rather than focusing on the characters individually, the game uses them as a means to portray the strong themes the game’s story revolves around. I don’t want to go into too much detail on these themes for fear of spoilers.

I’m not going to lie, Tales Of Symphonia’s story isn’t going to blow you away, it’s pretty bog standard for today’s standards but it was executed well enough to create a memorable experience. So long as you don’t set your expectations too high, you might be pleasantly surprised by the game’s story. If you do want to get the most out of the game’s story though, you’ll want to engage in some of the game’s many side quests as a lot of the story is hidden behind them. There are also skits which can help shed a light on some of the characters too.

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What makes this game truly stand out from other games in the series is its affection system. Tales Of Symphonia steals borrows this idea from the Star Ocean series which allowed you to partake in special events known as private actions which allowed certain scenarios to influence variables. These variables would affect the ending the player would obtain and each character would have their own adjustable variable value. As such the player may opt to avoid certain scenario’s or backtrack for specific scenarios in order to build up their desired variable.

In Tales Of Symphonia the way you interact with characters is different from the Star Ocean series. While lot of the choices you make throughout the game will affect the amount of affection each character has for the main character Lloyd, the actual process of acquiring these affection points is a lot more streamlined for the most part often forcing choices onto the player as they make progress though the game’s story. That’s not to say that there aren’t any optional interactions. Many of the sidequests can also affect a particular character’s affection for Lloyd. There are also optional skit points where you can engage in a skit conversations with other characters in which the player’s choices affect the character’s affection for Lloyd.

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Sadly this feature never made it into any of the future Tales games which is a shame. Unlike the Star Ocean series however, the affection system doesn’t affect the game’s ending, rather it changes up many of the game’s cut scenes. Once you reach a certain point in the main story, the characters with the highest affection will be able to partake in a cut scene with Lloyd, this scene will solidify that character as the one with the highest affection for Lloyd, essentially replacing the multiple character endings the Star Ocean series has. As a fan of the Star Ocean series I really enjoyed the inclusion of this feature as it allowed me to get more invested in the story and characters. Plus it allowed me to personalize my experience more which is always a good thing.

The Tales series is known for its fast paced real-time action battle systems and Tales Of Symphonia is no exception. Even today, Tales Of Symphonia holds up well despite it being rather basic. If you’ve played any other Tales game then you’ll know what to expect here. Tales Of Symphonia uses a side scrolling battle system in a 3D battle arena. This means that by changing targets you are able to spread your party out. So despite the fact that it is a side scrolling action RPG, it really feels like a free moving combat system.

Tales Of Symphonia was the first game in the series to offer serious competition to the Star Ocean games and for good reason. Rather than simply having players barrage foes with attacks, Tales Of Symphonia focuses on chaining hits to build up combos. While the ability to combo was somewhat prominent it still felt rather unrefined. Tales Of Symphonia’s combat offers a more refined combo system allowing players to chain up to 3 techs and alternate between 6 different techs per character at a time. This was a big deal back then as ARPG’s often lacked variety back in their early years. Tales Of Symphonia was one of the first ARPG’s that added a considerable amount of depth making it capable enough to rival that of a turned based RPG.

The combat focuses on synchronizing your attacks with the AI (or other players) in order to build up a combo. This idea would later be used in other games such as Valkyrie Profile 2 which allowed players to take control over all four characters in battle, managing them all simultaneously. Tales Of Symphonia was one of the first to focus primarily on combo focused gameplay and offers a wide variety of options in battle.

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Unfortunately like in all real-time action RPG’s with AI controlled party members, the combat suffers from having a lack of control over multiple characters. This is a problem that is not exclusive to Tales Of Symphonia but is worth bringing up considering the fact that Tales Of Symphonia is one of the pioneers that established the more modern style of real time action RPG’s and as such it is important to keep in mind that relying on the AI is essentially a big part of the gameplay.

For this reason, playing the game with a friend is probably going to be a far better experience than playing alone. Much like Secret of Mana was a more co-op orientated game, Tales Of Symphonia appears to be very similar. However players managed to enjoy playing Tales Of Symphonia as a single player game so it’s not impossible to enjoy playing it alone, rather there are some flaws to be aware of in terms of the AI. I will say though that for the most part, the AI aren’t all that bad in Tales Of Symphonia and if you can learn the AI’s patterns, you can really build up some awesome combo’s.

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Still, my philosophy on these type of games is that they were actually built with co-op in mind originally but the early games in the series along with all of the Star Ocean games seem to have forgotten this. Regardless, I judge these types of games in four different categories: flexibility, intuition, smoothness and AI behavior and considering the time this game was released, Tales Of Symphonia is above average in all four of these categories making for a very well-rounded combat system. Like I said before, you have 6 attacks at your disposal and they can all be mixed up in any order you choose as well as several regular attacks to mix things up more. While that may not sound like much today, back in 2003 this was a pretty big deal in terms of flexibility.

Now I never had the chance to play the original Gamecube release (which is quite ironic since the Gamecube is my favourite console) but based on the PS3 release, the controls are very simple and easy to use. You can guard and dodge using the square button, use normal attacks with X and artes using O. Comboing is simple enough, using a combination of normal attacks and artes as well as the AI’s attacks you can build up some crazy combos which are still really fun to pull off today and it’s easy to build up those hits, you never feel like you have to do too much busy work to pull them off like in Star Ocean Till The End Of Time which required the player to constantly swap characters in order to juggle their enemies.

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To add to all this you also have unison attacks. This was cool because you got to stop the enemy in their tracks while you get to perform any move of your choosing. Performing certain moves allows you use a compound special attacks which were a combination of two different artes with two different characters. It was a flashy and cool way to finish off enemies. I really liked the unison attack system and building the unison gauge was never too much of a hassle. It just gives you more control over battles and adds some extra flashiness to the combo’s.

To make things even crazier, the PS3 version (based on the Japanese PS2 version) adds mystic artes which are an alternate finisher that allow specific characters to pull off a unique special attack much like the purify weird soul attacks in Valkyrie Profile. These are used as finishers but unlike Unison Attacks they are pretty hard to pull off and can sometimes be completely forgotten about. This is due to the fact that the overlimit gauge didn’t exist yet and overlimits were built up over time much like trance in Final Fantasy IX in the sense that you cannot trigger it at will. Since most mystic artes required the character be in overlimit or at low hp, they were difficult to pull off.

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Regardless I can easily say that Tales Of Symphonia’s battle system stands the test of time, while other games in the series may be better in some areas, few games come close to the polished smoothness of Tales Of Symphonia’s combat. It is one of those combat systems that keeps you coming back for more due to how simple yet polished it is. To put it more accurately Tales Of Symphonia’s battle system is the benchmark of any real-time action JRPG combat and is what all real time action JRPG’s should aspire to be.

Aside from combat you do get a little bit of character management here, while not as deep as it is in the Star Ocean series, Tales Of Symphonia offers the player a few choices in regards to character management in the form of EX skills. These skills alter several different properties of each character giving them special passive abilities or allowing them to be played in a unique way. Sadly in future games such as Tales Of The Abyss, EX skills were learned in a more linear fashion and rather than picking and choosing, you get given all the EX skills over the course of the game which ruined the whole point of having EX skills. Regardless this was a great addition which adds a little bit of experimentation to the game.

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Other than that however, character management is very basic, learning new artes can be quite complicated as there are two different combat styles to learn: strike and technical. Each style has its own set of artes and is influenced by the player’s EX skills. Strike artes are mostly powerful attacks which focus on knockback. Technical artes focus more on delivering more hits and are usually a lot flashier than strike artes. Then you have magic which is completely different depending on the character. For example, you could have Raine be a strong party healer and teach her technical moves like Revitalize. On the other hand you could teach her stronger single target healing abilities and the ability to give your characters an auto-revive buff.

You can mix between strike and technical artes by changing your EX skills to favor the opposite style just before you learn a new move, you can also forget certain moves and swap them for their alternate move should you wish. Or you could just stick with either style and see what you get. This makes the game more interesting as there are so many different combinations of moves you can have at your disposal, some may see it as limiting but that’s kinda the point, by limiting the player, you are making them choose between two variants of moves based on which they prefer.

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Do they want to focus on dealing raw damage and knockbacks or so they want to focus on building up more hits? By limiting your game for the sake of choices, you’re actually providing a more rewarding experience since the choice the player makes equates to that of rewarding players with personalization. This is what many of the other Tales games failed to realize, by breaking these limits and just giving all the abilities away to the player, they are essentially removing that element of choice which made Tales Of Symphonia feel so rewarding… at least in terms of personalization.

So Tales Of Symphonia does a lot of things right with its gameplay and while the story starts off quite slow, it picks up later on. In theory this alone should provide a highly engaging experience and it does… for the most part. You see Tales Of Symphonia may be the series’ benchmark but it isn’t without its flaws. For starters, the dungeons of Tales Of Symphonia tend to really bog the game down in monotony as there are plenty of dungeons in the game that just flat-out suck. Why is this you ask? That’s simple, puzzles and when I say puzzles I mean hours upon hours of tedium.

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The puzzles in Tales Of Symphonia are quite possibly some of the most irritating puzzles I have ever seen in an RPG. While the first few dungeons have very simple, yet boring puzzles, later puzzles can become quite tedious and annoying to do. One puzzle in particular literally has you moving blocks of garbage and dropping it off a catwalk for no other reason than to pan out game time. To make things worse you have the sorcerers ring with its many functions. I absolutely loathe the inclusion of this feature because there are times where you have to switch between ring modes to accomplish certain tasks the game gives you to do like shooting braziers and shooting a bomb to blow up a rock.

Maybe this is just a personal issue but I honestly do not see how anyone can enjoy slogging through such horrendous dungeons. The most infamous of dungeons require you to guide several blobs to a certain position. These blobs will follow you but it is a nightmare to keep them all together. All you do is run around the area aimlessly pushing switches and trying to find all the blobs and trying to keep them altogether. To make things worse pushing in certain switches pushes other switches out. It’s a nightmare for people like me who want to get straight to the action. Even if I were to like puzzles, I cannot see myself not getting frustrated in that horrendous place.

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The dungeons are the biggest problem with this game and they are one of the few things that hinder the game’s replay value. However there is also another problem that many games released back in 2003 suffered from, unskippable cutscenes. That’s right one of the most irritating parts of replaying a JRPG is to have to press X/A to keep the text moving so you get back to the action. I wish that players could just skip the cutscenes and move on. Why this isn’t a thing in the PS3 port I cannot fathom.

Despite all this, I managed to slog through another playthrough and while it did have its annoying parts, the amount of rewarding content this game offered convinced me to play through it again and once I reached the second half of the game, my engagement levels rose a ton. Tales Of Symphonia offers a new game plus feature. By spending grade you are able to unlock certain perks which you can carry over to each playthrough. After unlocking the combo’s perk the game felt extremely rewarding to play in terms of growth as it rewards you with experience based on the highest combo you perform in the fight. This made every boss fight feel different and added an extra layer of depth to the game.

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It was this second playthrough that convinced me to review this game as I felt that being able to play through a game such as this a second time alone is something worth noting since I don’t normally do such things in videogames. I will say though that the second playthrough did have its annoying moments, particularly in the dungeons but I believe if you are truly willing to give the game another shot, by all means do so.

This game has a lot of replay value to balance out the horror of having to slog through those painful dungeons again and as someone who dislikes replaying videogames in general, I can confirm that there is some value to be had in doing so, it just takes a bit of patience because Tales Of Symphonia is quite a lengthy ordeal as it can take around 40 – 50 hours to finish the story. I assure you, once you endure the first half of the game, the game opens up fairly quickly and you feel like you’re playing through a whole new experience entirely. There are still the painful moments but if you are willing to endure some of that pain, it’s definitely worth playing through this game multiple times.

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As far as music is concerned, the game’s soundtrack does a reasonable job of keeping players engaged in the experience but doesn’t go the extra mile to deliver something particularly noteworthy. There are some good tracks here and there, ironically the best tracks tend to play in some of the most tedious dungeons, kinda fitting considering the fact that you’ll be spending a lot of your time in these places. Some tracks are better than others but for the most part I’d say that the soundtrack does its job reasonably well.

In terms of art direction, Tales Of Symphonia takes a very vivid approach depicting a bright, colorful cel-shaded world. While some may find this kind of contradictory to many of the game’s themes I feel that it serves to make the world more likable and makes the locations more memorable due to this distinct art style. After all, sometimes you want a break from the more darker styled games and you want something bright and colorful as a refreshment. As such I feel that the art design fits this game rather well, it really fools you into believing that the game is very plain and simple at first but when things start to get more interesting as the story clashes with other themes, the art direction really stands out.

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When it comes to choosing whether or not to play Tales Of Symphonia, ask yourself what exactly you are looking for in a JRPG at this point? While I do believe that every JRPG fan should give this game a shot at some point, I don’t think this is a game people should rush towards for the sake of it. If you’re going to play Tales Of Symphonia then you want to be in the right mood for it.

If you’re tired of the more conventional RPG and want something different, Tales Of Symphonia can be quite difficult to get into. On the other hand if you’re looking to escape from more modern, avant-garde JRPG experiences then you should definitely give Tales Of Symphonia a go. I do think that the game starts off quite slow and it can be an arduous task to get to the meaty stuff but when you do I believe that you will enjoy what you see.


Story/Plot: Good
Visuals: Good
Music: Satisfactory
Gameplay: Great
Lifespan: Quite Long

Overall: Great

Value: £40.00

Purchase Tales of Symphonia (PS3)

Grandia 3 Review

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So after years of waiting, we finally got Grandia 3 in the UK via Playstation Store. It was a hassle to access the US Playstation store but regardless, I have finally finished it and quite frankly I’m quite glad I got to experience this game, even if it is a bit rough around the edges. What do I mean by this? Well it is pretty much the opposite of everything that made Grandia 2 so great in the first place.

Allow me to elaborate. When this game was first released, people were in uproar about it, some consider it the death of the Grandia series, others just consider it to be a mediocre title which was nothing more than a disappointment. Hey, that sounds like the perfect game for me to review. So I picked the game up and gave it a go. How bad could it possibly be?

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First of all, I would like to talk about the visuals of this game since they are a considerable improvement from Grandia 2. The world of Grandia 3 is certainly a looker, not the best looking game I’ve seen but it has certainly been given a makeover that stands out if you’ve played any of the previous Grandia games. It feels great to actually play a Grandia game with such great visuals. Sure Grandia 2 Anniversary Edition improved on the visuals somewhat and made them a lot easier on the eyes and actually made them quite likable but Grandia 3 really has a fresh new style that is unlike any of the previous Grandia games.

One thing I would like to note is that Grandia 3 feels like a much more open-ended game than Grandia 2 but don’t let this fool you, the game is every bit as linear as its predecessor though to be fair, you are able to backtrack this time around thanks to the game’s flight system which allows you to freely roam the world map in a similar way to Lost Odyssey in the sense that it is very restrictive and in a lot of ways kinda pointless considering the linear nature of this game.

Grandia 3 Flying around is kinda pointless

For a theme centered around freedom to roam the skies, you’d expect the game to deliver that feeling of freedom in its structure but sadly this is not the case, instead when you approach certain areas, you merely get a text box telling you about it, kinda like in Mass Effect. It’s such a shame since there is a huge world out there to fly around in yet you only get to explore a small portion of it. It’s such a shame really.

While we are on the topic of the game’s theme, let’s get straight to business and talk about the games laughable story. Where do I even begin? For starters after having played the legendary Grandia 2, it is easy to see how this game has come to receive such a negative reception. You would think that after playing a game like Grandia 2, the story would be exciting and fresh, sadly this is not the case this time around, the story of Grandia 3 is about as exciting as a baked potato.

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Trying really hard not to make a dick joke

While Grandia 2 went off the beaten track with its protagonist, in Grandia 3, you are presented with Yuki who follows just about every single cliché in the book as a JRPG protagonist. His only standout feature is his love for planes… not that I consider that a good thing, rather It comes across as obnoxious more than anything else. Typically the game starts off with the protagonist, Yuki getting scolded by his mother Miranda for being too obsessive over his hobby.

But believe me, Yuki doesn’t get any sympathy from me. After crashing his plane like an idiot, he is left stranded in the middle of a forest a couple of miles from his hometown and encounters a young girl named Alfina… you know what this means don’t you? That’s right, get ready for some boy meets girl action in the form of yet another bland, uninspired romance that contributes absolutely nothing to the plot… hurray!

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Little did I know that the entire build up of Yuki’s character was about to capsize from here on out. Now Yuki must escort Miss Bigears to a place called Arcriff, a place of worship dedicated to communicating with the guardians. Sound familiar? Anyways the story starts getting duller and duller from there.

Put simply if you’ve played any JRPG, you’ve seen Grandia 3’s storyline already. It pretty much deflates into a quest for macguffins once you reach the halfway mark and by that point, the story never really evolves past that until you face the big bad evil thing at the end.

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To make things even more insulting, the only two redeeming characters leave the party early on in the story. This cripples the story as they are replaced by two dull characters who barely have anything to offer in terms of personality and they are mostly cardboard cut outs. In fact, these characters are so bad that you could remove them from the game and it wouldn’t change a thing.

Now in a game like Grandia, this is particularly worrying since the Grandia series has always revolved around its interaction between characters and with a cast of characters as dry as oatmeal, its efforts to focus on character interaction are pretty much wasted.

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The nature of the Grandia series remains unchanged however. Grandia 3 follows the same formula as the previous games. Its focus on NPC interaction is still an all you can eat buffet of narrative and the dinner scenes return to add more flavor.

You can tell that Game Arts were trying to focus on building a strong narrative as they continue to use the same tools that made Grandia 2’s story so engaging, it’s just a shame that the characters and the plot of Grandia 3 are so sterile otherwise it could have made for yet another memorable and engaging storyline.

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Where the game truly shines however is in its battle system. Like the previous Grandia titles, Grandia 3 uses an active time based (ATB) battle system with a heavy emphasis on changing the flow of battles through cancelling enemy attacks and manipulating the IP gauge to intercept enemy turns.

Grandia 3 enhances the system by rebalancing the game’s difficulty to make for a more challenging experience. In addition, the game adds new aerial combos in an attempt to mix things up. Sadly while aerial combos have their uses early on in the game, their effectiveness diminishes later on as enemies are given insane amounts of health and this tends to make many of the boss fights a slog.

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Fortunately many of the boss fights are varied, some of which can be quite difficult to figure out at first. The game keeps things fresh by offering plenty of devastating abilities to be used by both the player and the enemy. It is important to stay on your toes in all battles as you are usually outnumbered by multiple enemies and if your characters are widely spread out on the IP gauge, you may find yourself in a compromising situation if you make the wrong move.

Thankfully the game offers a wide assortment of abilities in the form of moves/magic to bolster your arsenal. Every ability is useful, you just need to find the right one for the job. That’s JRPG combat 101 right there and while many JRPG’s forget the significance of this, Grandia 3’s combat focuses heavily on making the player’s choices feel important. Add to that the need to manage SP more carefully (due to the lack of SP restoration items available) and you have a surprisingly deep combat system which offers plenty of variety to keep things fresh for the entire duration of the game.

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Character Management is different this time around. New moves are learned via leveling up rather than with special coins. Moves are enhanced at random. I personally dislike this as it can sometimes screw you over in battles since attacks will be pulled off instantly when a new secret method is learned (the process of leveling up moves) which can ruin a potentially well-timed cancel. I also dislike the randomness of move leveling. Grandia 2 gave the player total freedom with learning moves which led to several balancing issues, however this method is still preferable to the method used in Grandia 3, at least in my opinion.

Magic is pretty interesting this time around. While the spells in your arsenal are more-or-less the same, the method of learning magic has drastically changed from that of Grandia 2. On one hand it complicates the progression system, on the other hand it is a more balanced system that prevents players from acquiring high level spells too early. Magic eggs can be dropped by most enemies and are surprisingly very common, they can be used to enhance the effects of spells or they can be consumed to learn new spells. Abilities work the same way allowing you to equip skill books to increase the potency of specific skills or consume them to learn new skills. These can be equipped at any save point.

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In addition, there are higher level eggs available which can easily be acquired through mana egg fusion. This allows you to access powerful magic when you wouldn’t normally be able to. It is important to note however that characters have a set magic level depending on how high of a level they are. As such the system is balanced and you can never learn spells that are too powerful. To some, this could be seen as a bad thing, however mana eggs can still be equipped to increase the potency of spells to make up for this allowing you to grow stronger should you wish to.

Ultimately when comparing the gameplay of Grandia 2 and Grandia 3, Grandia 3 comes on top just by a small margin, this isn’t to say that Grandia 2’s gameplay was bad, many of the fundamentals that make Grandia 3’s gameplay so great were lifted straight out of Grandia 2, they have just been improved this time round which is expected of a successor. Sadly it is difficult to call Grandia 3 a true successor to Grandia 2 as it falls short in the department Grandia games are known for, story.

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Personally, I do not often prioritize story in videogames. Grandia 2 was an exception for me and I honestly didn’t expect Grandia 3 to be anything quite like Grandia 2 but the combat is ultimately what won over my interest in this game. While I disagree with some of the systems used in Grandia 3’s character management, the combat itself is actually quite engaging to say the least. As such I cannot say that my experience with Grandia 3 was as bad as many people make it out to be. To be honest I quite enjoyed it.

The music is what sealed the deal for me, despite this games shortcomings, it still has a solid soundtrack, not as good as Grandia 2’s but a solid soundtrack nonetheless. Add to that the eye-catching visuals and you have yourself an enjoyable game. That being said, I can understand the negative reception this game has received, as a Grandia game it is pretty weak and its linear story focused structure limits its potential. Add to that a couple of irritating songs and a few lackluster dungeons leaving you with just another run-of-the-mill JRPG which just falls short of being yet another classic PS2 RPG.

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Truly a work of art! Oh wait, that’s a mirror, never mind…

So all in all, Grandia 3 is not as bad as people make it out to be, while it is far from being a true successor to Grandia 2, it is still worth the experience. If you can find the game for cheap, give it a try. It’s not a bad game, just don’t expect too much out of it. Put simply if you’re starving for some JRPG action and you’ve played all the best, you aren’t doing yourself a disservice by playing this game, you should be able to find some enjoyment out of it. While this may come as a surprise to you all, I actually had a hard time tearing this game to shreds as much as I’d have liked to.

I really didn’t expect to like this game. Though the story may have been laughably bad and cringeworthy at times, I’ve definitely experienced worse (*cough*White Knight Chronicles*cough*). It gave me some good laughs at least… seriously what is with the blatant similarities between the story of Grandia 2/3 and Devil May Cry 4? Even the voices for Yuki and Alfina return to play the same roles in Devil May Cry 4 as Nero and Kyrie… plus why does the villain look so much like Ganondorf and why does he wear black patches on his face? Seriously dude, grow a beard or something. Plus what is with that wannabe Arngrim guy named Kornell? Why is he such a doofus? What is his purpose in the plot besides being comic relief? We may never find an answer to these questions. All I can do is give the game its final score.

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Seriously who the fuck is this guy!? What is his purpose in this game besides just being there?


Story/plot: Pretty Bad
Visuals: Good
Gameplay: Great
Music: Good
Lifespan: Decent Length
Would You Replay? No

 

Overall: Satisfactory

 


 

Value: £15.00

For a more in-depth look at the story, watch this video:

Postal 2 Review (Steam version)

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Postal 2 is an oddity among the FPS genre. While most FPS games released prior to the seventh generation were often constrained and linear in terms of progression, Postal 2 takes an alternate approach being one of the first sandbox shooters alongside Grand Theft Auto. Unlike Grand Theft Auto however, Postal 2 decided to do away with its top down origins and transitioned into a first person shooter. This makes Postal 2 pretty unique for its time since sandbox FPS games were very few and far between back in 2003.

In addition, the Postal series maintains a reputation of being one of the most obscene gaming franchises of all time. While the first game chose a darker, more grittier feel, Postal 2 opted for a more comical feel that takes great pleasure in mocking pop culture as well as the gaming industry as a whole. Usually I wouldn’t care for such humor but Postal 2 executes it so well that I can’t help but love it. This is due to the fact that the game doesn’t try to shove the joke down your throat, rather it throws you in to a world of extremities and your job is to navigate your way through it.

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Naturally as a rational individual or a crazed psychopath (usually the latter), you will often come into conflict with many of the angry stereotypes that populate this game’s world and they are all out to cause trouble. You will quickly wonder if there is any sanity left in the town of Paradise… or perhaps there never was. Nevertheless, you are given a list of errands to complete and how you get from A to B is up to you, this might sound like a chore at first but there are more to these errands than meets the eye… or not. You’ll just have to wait and see for yourself.

Like all good first person shooters, you’re going to need a large arsenal of weapons and Postal 2 doesn’t disappoint. There are many different types of weaponry available to you from the standard assault rifle to a can of inflammable Lynx Stynx which is used conjointly with a lighter to create a devastating flamethrower. There is also a wide assortment of melee weapons on offer for those who want to take a more up close and personal approach.

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It definitely has a strong aroma…

Some melee weapons even have multiple functions such as the machete which can be thrown at enemies like a boomarang allowing you to cut down enemies from afar, there’s also a powerful scythe which can cut down several enemies at once and be tossed at a herd of enemies waiting to be culled. Most are fairly standard swinging weapons though, some are more useful than others but there’s certainly no shortage of them around and they all pack a punch.

The game itself is pretty bog standard in its execution and doesn’t try too many ideas with its gameplay. Weapons are easy to use and have perfect accuracy. This may make the gunplay feel sterile to some but ultimately I see it as a good thing. Enemies are pretty brain-dead for the most part, they will usually respond to gunfire by standing in a stationary position and shooting you. This could have been detrimental to the gameplay had the game not had such a ridiculous premise to begin with. In a way, the AI fits in with what this game is trying to portray. Postal 2 is nothing more than dumb fun, there is literally nothing stupider than Postal 2 and that’s why it is so much fun to play.

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With all that being said however, it is easy to be overwhelmed with enemies and it is recommended to try out different weapons based on the situation. Most enemies will use the standard pistol weapon. Later on however you will find enemies who opt for a deadlier arsenal with weapons such as the assault rifle and explosive weapons such as grenades. How you approach enemies varies based on their weapon types as their strategy is always the same, stand in one spot and shoot or throw grenades. If you’re looking for realistic AI and gunplay, you’re not going to find it here.

On the other hand, those who just want to have a fun time mindlessly spraying lead into people’s faces will have a blast with this game. The satisfaction that comes with playing Postal 2 is the slaughter. You are given a huge sandbox with dozens of satisfying weapons to use at your leisure. They are all well-balanced for the most part (though the pistol’s usefulness doesn’t last) and they all pack a punch, particularly the explosive weapons. It is best not to think of Postal 2 as strictly being a first person shooter as you will have just as much fun utilizing the melee weapons and explosives.

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The freedom to cause as much chaos as possible is arguably the strongest point of Postal 2. Freedom to roam also helps with this. Postal 2 is a semi-open world game which separates each location with loading boundaries. You are free to explore a huge chunk of the map early on and gain access to more locations as you progress through the game. There are tonnes of places to go and you are encouraged to go off the beaten track to find cool new weapons, munitions and cash to buy more munitions, armor and health pipes to keep you safe. Exploration in Postal 2 is certainly a very rewarding experience and finding new weapons is always refreshing.

Over the course of the game, you will be given numerous tasks you must complete in order to progress through the game. You can approach these tasks in many different ways. Do you want a blood bath? Do you want to abide by the law? Or do you want to take what you want and flee the opposition? Naturally this game encourages you to shoot as often as possible and you are given the tools for the job so you are encouraged to slaughter as many people as possible. However this is not the only way to play the game, it is possible to play through the first 5 days without even firing a single bullet.

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In addition, the game manages to break up a lot of the open-ended progression with some linear sections. I personally like this as it keeps the gameplay fresh rather than feeling like just another GTA clone as it kinda maintains the traditional feel of the FPS genre if just for a brief moment. One thing that can be annoying though is that they often strip you of all of your weapons and you have to find them littered around these levels and you will have to find them. Aside from that, these sections tend to offer more of a challenge as they often put you in a situation where you are handicapped due to lacking your equipment as well as encountering an overwhelming force of hostility.

Where the game falls short however is in the visual department. While the visuals are understandable for such an open-ended game released in 2003, they aren’t all that great to look at. Many of the NPC character’s heads are ridiculously huge and terrain has little to no detail for the most part. I’d say that the visuals are on par with the original Half Life (released in 1998) and there is a lot of similarity between the two but Postal 2 doesn’t really go anywhere with it. While this likely isn’t going to be a big deal for most people, I can’t exactly praise the game for its visuals.

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The same can be said for the music which is practically nonexistent save for a few jingles every now and again which can get annoying at times. In a way, this is probably one of Postal 2’s weakest points, the lack of music definitely limits the potential of this game, it would have been much more satisfying to listen to some metal music as you mow down hundreds of people with a scythe but it doesn’t even go there which is a shame. All in all, don’t expect a strong ambiance with Postal 2.

Another thing that bothered me was the incessant crashing issue that I constantly ran into, even after I upgraded my PC a few days back, I still experienced these crash issues in a 2003 game, this is absolutely unacceptable and arguably the biggest problem I had playing Postal 2. I can’t see them fixing this in the near future but it still affects the game in a negative way and it would be wrong of me not to mention it. Nevertheless I do not think that it is enough to completely boycott this game even if it is a major issue.

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The steam version of Postal 2 includes Apocalypse Weekend, this adds two extra days onto the main game of Postal 2 and is a very linear focused expansion with very little open-ended content. For those who enjoy the more linear sections, Apocalypse now is definitely worth a play but considering the fact that it is free on the Steam version, there is little point in going over it in greater detail in this review as it is completely optional. At the beginning of the game you can choose to play through the first 5 days or the whole week. Bear in mind that the retail version does not include this expansion, however the steam version is the cheaper option so for this review I will be covering the entire package found ion the steam version.

So ultimately, I get that Postal 2 is made by a small development team and while my review might be a little harsh on it, I do really love this game. I cannot however mislead people into thinking that it is a huge AAA title that people hype it up to be and as such I believe people should keep in mind that this is not a game that is going to blow you away with stunning visuals and revolutionary gameplay but rather it will give you a fun sandbox to ventilate your rage on countless innocent people with a few good laughs here and there. You can often find this game priced at 69p which is about equivalent to $1.00. This is an absolute bargain for this game and cannot be passed up. Of course I’d encourage you to support the devs by paying full price should you feel the need to but if you do see it on offer, you should absolutely give it a try.

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Story/Plot: Good (I base my score on the humor)
Visuals: Mediocre
Gameplay: Good
Music: Forgettable
Lifespan: (varies, main story is decent length but it is a sandbox game so it might take you a little longer)
Would you replay? Maybe

Overall: Good

Value: £25.00

Meanwhile at Activision HQ…

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SAG-AFTRA’s attempt to strike a deal with Activision’s CEO goes horribly wrong.

Hard Reset Redux Review

This game has been a very rocky ride for me and as a result I have put myself into a position where I find it difficult to review this game but here’s what happened. So I picked up the game on a sale for £11.00 and gave it a shot sometime just after it was released. I was excited to play this game as it was developed by people who were involved in the development of the legendary Painkiller and since People Can Fly don’t seem to want to make FPS games that aren’t published by EA anymore, I decided to give Hard Reset Redux a shot to see if I could get a taste of what Painkiller gave me.

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Now for starters, I want to make it clear that I did not have any lofty expectations for this game, I expected something simple and straightforward and that is almost what I got, almost. I started with the original Hard Reset which came packaged in with the redux. About an hour into the game, I saw warning signs. Hard Reset is what I like to call a horde swarming game in the sense that every single enemy in the game seems to move twice as fast as you and is impossible to outrun.

As a result, I knew where this game was going and quickly refunded it. Later on, I saw the game priced at around £4.00, so I decided that I owe the game another chance simple because I forgot to try out the redux version. Do I regret my purchase? Well considering the fact that I got the game for dirt cheap, I can’t say that I regret giving this game another try as I got my money’s worth with this game, at least as far as content is concerned.

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Hard Reset feels like a low budget version of Painkiller. It takes the fundamentals of Painkiller and doesn’t even give you half the level of enjoyment in almost all facets of the game. Heck it doesn’t even feel like Painkiller for the most part, it feels more like Serious Sam and I really dislike Serious Sam for having tonnes of HP sponge enemies who spawn in battalions and move twice as fast as you, leaving you with no choice but to keep backpedaling with the rocket launcher and pray you don’t backpedal into a wall.

Call me crazy but I really don’t enjoy the gameplay Serious Sam offers (at least the first game). Call me a noob if you want but honestly, if the game wasn’t so lazily put together, I would have probably had a much more enjoyable experience with it. Thankfully one thing that Hard Reset Redux does right is that it actually creates a pretty stunning looking world. Whether or not Hard Reset is better looking than Painkiller is subjective, I prefer Painkiller for its aesthetic style but damn, Hard Reset puts games like Deus-Ex Human revolution to shame with its visuals and they are set in the same type of universe which makes them the perfect comparisons.

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Everything from billboards, vending machine advertisements, all the way to the virtual screens that pop up as you approach objects. Everything feels seamless as you interact with terminals. It is undoubtedly pretty cool and really pulls you into its cyberpunk world. You can tell that the developers put quite a lot of effort into the level design in this game, particularly from an aesthetic standpoint.

What they didn’t put effort into however is the gameplay. Now I will say that the redux improves the gameplay drastically compared to the original with the addition of the new dash feature. This allows the player to essentially double their mobility. You can almost move as fast as Painkiller… almost. This makes for a more fast paced experience than that of the original Hard Reset and it really adds a lot to the fun factor of the game since you feel as if you have more control of battles. With the ability to dodge attacks effectively and avoid melee enemies easier instead of having to constantly backpedal away from them. You still have to keep your distance though as enemies still move rather quickly and their attack animations are very fast, some of which have pretty wide AOE’s.

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Now here’s where the problems start to appear. The weapons in Hard Reset Redux are interesting but the cool idea of having upgradable weapons doesn’t make up for the ridiculous control layout. I mapped the change weapon button to Q and E simply because it was near the WASD keys but couldn’t they simply make it possible to cycle through every weapon with the mouse wheel rather than having to press keys all the time?

Now I get that people like to hotkey specific weapons to the number keys and you can still do that… but why do we only get to swap weapon modes with the mouse wheel? Why can’t we swap the actual weapons with the mouse wheel? This is just one example of Hard Reset trying to be more complicated than it needs to be. Painkiller didn’t need to have two weapons with different modes, it just had lots of swappable weapons.

“Hard Reset is what I like to call a horde swarming game in the sense that every single enemy in the game seems to move twice as fast as you and is impossible to outrun”

The only explanation I can think of is that they are trying to be realistic. In this case then why not have a single gun instead of two guns and have that gun use both energy and kinetic firepower? Then we can cycle through every single upgrade a lot easier. To make matters worse, the redux adds the katana to the mix which is a near-useless weapon and you have to cycle through it every single time you want to swap to your kinetic weapon.

Weapon swapping aside, Hard Reset has all of the problems that Serious Sam has but worse (aside from having better aesthetics). The enemies have insane amounts of health. Some enemies have literally 400+ hit points and you can tell by using the smart gun. Every shot you do deals roughly 5-20 damage unless it is an explosive shot and it can take ages for the machine/plasma rifle to kill some of the tougher enemies in the game.

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One of these enemies in particular you will encounter right at the start of the game and these enemies will charge at you and were basically unavoidable in the original but thanks to the new dash function, you can dodge them easier but they are still a little annoying, even when you get the more advanced weapons, they are a pain in the ass to deal with since they have ridiculously large amounts of health and are easily the most annoying enemies in the game.

Now I do get where this game is going, I really do. The weapons are still pretty cool and can be fun to use and you really have to think about what weapon you are using. Some weapons are better than others however and two in particular are completely useless. These are the shotgun and the katana. When I play a videogame, I expect a shotgun to instagib any enemy at close range unless it is a really powerful one. In this game, even the smallest of enemies require 2-4 hits to kill with the shotgun even up close. This is inexcusable when you consider the fact that Painkiller’s shotgun 1 shots enemies with a close ranged shot of the shotgun and has a much faster fire rate.

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The katana is an impractical weapon… but you can’t help but use it because it is so cool!

In fact I’d say with the exception of the Shotgun from Serious Sam (the first one), this may well be the worst shotgun I have ever used in a videogame and I feel sorry for anyone who is naive enough to pick the shotgun upgrade first like I did because it is completely and utterly useless for the most part, especially since you will rarely want to get up close and personal with enemies in this game since they all move twice as fast as you and have very high attack speed.

The poor balancing of the weapons can make the gameplay feel a bit sterile at some points. Yeah sure there is enough variety to give it a pass but weapons like the electric mortar, while not completely useless were simply outclassed by weapons like the shock blaster which is the ultimate CQC weapon and you get the grenade launcher which is really handy at long range and is has a reasonable fire rate. the RPG is pretty good too even if it is slower as is the smart gun which is a homing weapon which shows the enemy health gauge.

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I regrettably never got around to trying out the railgun, and the mine layer gun (forgot its name) and this is because I could never afford to pick them up since the game was over before I even had the chance to give them a try. Sure I could have gone back to replay the game but I really didn’t want to go through it again. I get that the game wanted to reward players for finding secrets and trying to implement growth but it really does limit a casual players experience with the game as a whole and those impatient will probably want to move on.

In addition, these weapons are all acquired through the upgrade terminal, this element of choice can make for a very mixed experience for the player depending on which weapons they choose to start with. If they pick the grenade launcher and the shock blaster early, they are more likely to have a much easier time than if they picked the shotgun first. While I do appreciate that the developers were trying to implement some level of growth in the game, weapon modes were not the way to go I’m afraid… now upgrading those weapons is a whole different story. There are also combat gear upgrades which affect things like shields, radar and ammo capacity, some are more useful than others.

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Bosses are a mixed bag. Then again, Painkiller wasn’t much better in this department. The second boss of the game is an absolute pain in the ass to defeat simply because its attacks are completely unavoidable for the most part (even with dash) and the final phase is needlessly complicated as the boss doesn’t have a conventional health bar and if you didn’t get the smart gun early, you will be shooting for ages wondering when it will ever drop.

I will say though that later bosses were a lot less irritating… if a tad bit chaotic. I did like how you got tonnes of trash enemies to kill alongside the bosses though, it really made the boss fights more interesting than just shooting at them. The game focuses on destroying weak points and while the later boss weak points are destroyed quicker, the earlier bosses weak points take forever to destroy and it can get pretty ridiculous at times. I do think that this is partially because you have a limited arsenal and if you didn’t pick the best weapon modes first, you will have a much harder time.

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What is this?

The music in Hard Reset is pretty dull techno for the most part with a bit of metal here and there but to me it is lifeless and barely noticeable. It does its job but it just isn’t enough to really pump me up, nor is it enough to make up for the gameplay being sub-par.

Exploration in Hard Reset is decent and can be quite rewarding as there are lots of stuff to find and pick up including currency so it is a good idea to explore levels. There are plenty of interactive objects in levels such as explosive barrels and stuff and while it can be cool at times, I find that they throw in way too many environmental hazards which can really get in your way at times and cause more hassle for you than the enemy since they often detonate/discharge with a chain reaction which can deal very high damage to you.

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How do I get behind that fence? Shoot it? Nah, that would be too easy…

The story, while obviously not being the main focus of the game, doesn’t exactly go anywhere and by the time it starts going somewhere, the game is over. You learn about a lot of things but you never really get a big reveal at the end, instead the game just ends in an anti-climactic fashion as if there wasn’t a purpose to the game by the end of it. I feel like there should be more… but at the same time I’m thankful that the game ended before it overstayed its welcome. The story is presented in a similar comic book style fashion to Painkiller Resurrection which is amusing.

To be honest, I am kinda conflicted with this game. I don’t exactly want to hate Hard Reset or the Redux, I am just a tad disappointed I really couldn’t get as much juice out of it as I anticipated. What I will say is that Hard Reset Redux is certainly a playable game and a vast improvement over the original but whether or not that makes it a good/bad game depends on how much patience the player has. I believe to truly enjoy this game you will need to play through it twice since new game + carries over all of the weapons. I will say though that it is not even in the same league as Painkiller and I shall continue my search to find a worthy match-up to it. Until then, Hard Reset Redux is going on the finished pile.


Story/Plot: Mediocre
Visuals: Great
Gameplay: Mediocre
Music: Forgettable
Lifespan: Quite Short
Would You Replay? Personally, no but if you do manage to enjoy the game then it has a new game+ so maybe.

Overall: Mediocre

Value: £5.00

Such a great shame really. I wanted to score this game a “Satisfactory” at least.

How to control your backlog and spending habits in gaming

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As a reviewer, I often find myself overwhelmed with the responsibility to buy and play lots of different games and as such I am left with a huge backlog of games just lying around waiting to be played… but then a new game catches my attention and I drop everything just to play it. Then I get fed up again.

Now you must understand that I have been writing on the Destructoid C blogs for 3 years now. I used to be a proactive writer, I would take a pick out of a game that took my fancy and just throw out a review. However, the quality of them was appalling among other things. To make a review is pretty easy if you think about it, all you need to do is write what you’re thinking. However it’s not easy to make a solid review. In fact the moment you start improving as a reviewer is the moment when you start to realize that it is hard work.

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Sure there are a lot more harder things to do but reviewing is considered a hobby to me. Unfortunately with this mindset, I have to become a lot more close-minded. Since this isn’t my job, I’m not going to play every single game on the face of the earth and throw out a review… though I may occasionally try something new, I want to stick to writing about games that I am passionate about or manage to gain my full attention and considering the fact that the gaming industry is changing for the better, I have to change to adapt to that, as a writer.

In any case, how is this relevant to controlling your backlog/spending? Well you see in the latter half of the seventh generation, I hit a massive burnout. Games just stopped coming out (games that I cared about anyways) and I had to change myself as a gamer, I had to be open-minded and explore new areas of gaming which I hadn’t before. In a way, I had grown as a gamer, I had grown away from my nostalgia barrier that led me down a narrow path in gaming. I feel better as a gamer for doing that and to be honest, I don’t think I would have become inspired to write without that.

With this however came its own issues. Though I am often careful with my money, I came to the point where I simply couldn’t turn down a cheap deal. If there was a game that interested me even a little, I would buy it without a moment’s hesitation. This had it’s fair share of ups and downs. I got to discover new games that I otherwise would have never tried but I also picked up some dreadful games that I simply got tired with.

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Despite what many people believe, I played Painkiller on a whim and guess what? I loved it!

I’m a cynic, I hate what the gaming industry has become and this changed my perception on gaming but it was more than just that, the industry’s change affected the games available. It is the end of 2016 now and games have been great this year but the past few years have been utterly dreadful, it was like a gaming drought. Trying to find a top quality game was a nightmare. Many of the top rated games I have reviewed are from past generations. Those days were good, it wasn’t until 2010 where things started going wrong.

I still say that 2011 was the worst year for gaming since the videogame crash, only 1 game released in 2011 managed to entertain me and that was Kirby’s Adventure Wii. Everything else was horrifically bad or just mediocre. 2012 wasn’t much better, Farcry 3 was probably my game of the year and that’s not saying much considering the fact that the game was an open world shooter with a dubstep soundtrack… ehhh.

The biggest question was “where are all the JRPG’s”? We had our Tales, we had our NIS shovelware along with a few others which were equally as bland. Seriously why do the Hyperdimentional Neptunia games still sell? Those games depress me because they take away all the passion and the effort that went into old school JRPG’s and instead these games are released every single year and as such the quality of those games takes a nose dive (at least in my opinion).

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Sure Exist Archive may have re-used assets and all that but at least they were trying. Most JRPG’s of recent years don’t even feel like they are trying to impress us. Someone has to give all those lazy JRPG devs a boot up the ass so we don’t get shit like Time and Eternity anymore, that game was an insult to all JRPG fans.

Sorry about my soapbox rant but I’m trying to get you to understand why I felt the need to spend money when in truth you really don’t. I was prepared to give anything a go because I was lost in the massive labyrinth of gaming. I was desperate, I needed a game, anything to keep my passion inflated, a passion that I knew still existed after I was reminded by Grandia 2. There was still something there… the world just moved on and abandoned passion but I hadn’t given up, even now I’m still confident that we will someday see rainfall again in the gaming industry, Star Ocean 5 gave me hope, hope that I had been praying for years.

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Grandia 2 re-ignited my passion for gaming

In fact it amazes me that games such as Halo can be considered classics now, yes I’m talking about Halo 3. How can a game like that be considered a classic by today’s standards I cannot fathom… but it is, it has been nearly 10 years since it was released. The state of the gaming industry completely blinded me of just how much time had passed, it was a depressing time for me and possibly for many others. Heck I was on the “Gaming industry is dying” bandwagon at one point, even people like Razorfist mentioned it in one of his videos during the dark days of the year 2013… that was a terrible year for a lot of reasons… and for gaming also.

Now that we have hit the eighth generation, as bad as the modern consoles are, there is still hope for change. A fresh start, something the industry has needed for a while. Now it has come to the point that there are far too many games coming out that I simply can’t keep up, I just have to buy them all, I owe it to myself and the readers to do so… or do I?

Not only does buying lots of games cost money but the more games you buy, the less invested you become in them. Here’s one of the reasons some of us younger gamers are possibly suffering from this gaming “spending spree” and what we need to do to prevent it is:

1. Think back to when you were younger…

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It sounds so simple doesn’t it. For some, it may work better than others. If you were spoiled as a child, this may not be the way for you, if you are an older gamer, this may also not be the one for you but if you are in your 20’s like myself and think back to your childhood, you will remember the small selection of games you owned and how dedicated you were to finishing them. They were all you had and you made the most of them. Be is Pokemon Red/Blue Legend Of Zelda Ocarina Of Time or for the older gamers perhaps it was Castlevania.

We valued our games back then because we didn’t have the ability to purchase them ourselves, we were funneled gifts from our parents at xmas or our birthdays and those were usually videogames (for those who were lucky). We were all excited back then. I remember the excitement of getting not only a Gamecube for my birthday but also A Playstation 2. Those were the best consoles I played in my life (well besides the SNES which was before my time but we’re talking about my childhood here). I had so many great moments on both systems, especially the Gamecube. There were so many games to play… but I couldn’t play them all. All I had to play was Smash Bros and a few other games. It wasn’t until way later where I looked back and tried out other games such as the legendary F-Zero GX.

So try to remember those moments and be responsible for your spending. I don’t care how well off you are. Be responsible for the psychological impact that buying tonnes of games brings and try to pick and choose your games. I know it’s hard for the more dedicated individuals out there such as myself but remember, gaming isn’t going anywhere, you can always pop round at a later date and play them when they’re cheaper, sure you’ll miss all the craze but for single player games especially, it may be for the best. However you might want to:

2. Avoid using digital distribution services like Steam/GOG/Humble Bundle

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My Steam Library is chock full of unfinished games

Ah the temptation of steam sales. That moment when you realize just how cheap games can be. The moment when you find out that just about everyone can be a gamer regardless of how poor they are. Not only that but you can also help charity’s through gaming too? It sounds like heaven doesn’t it? Well… it’s kinda cool at first, however you don’t want to overdose on this trend. Remember, these are digital games, they cannot be sold off when you’re done with them (though you can refund them on steam but that’s not what I’m talking about) nor can you keep them on your shelf as memorabilia. These games are the equivalent of an economy flight to Benidorm, a cheap break-away but it gets old after a while.

As a PC gamer, reviews are more important than ever because there is so much choice. However you cannot just read reviews that say “this game is awesome” you have to be 100% sure that you are prepared to play the whole way through because only then will you get your money’s worth. If it helps you can:

3. Play games with a shorter length

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Need For Speed Carbon may be short but it keeps me engaged better than any other game in the series.

For the casual audience, this is your best bet. Games like Child Of Light are great, yet small diversions away from the gaming ghetto bringing back the quality of old games at the cost of its length. Sure I would have liked it better if the game had an epic final dungeon at the end but to be honest, I was glad that it was short. It gave me the quality I was looking for without the investment required, plus it was a challenge.

However it can be difficult to know when games are short or not. If you’re looking for more detailed information on length for any game I reviewed, just leave a comment. I will tell you a more detailed explanation. For the most part I will only cover it if it’s relevant to the game overall such as Exist Archive: The Other Side Of The Sky. However, I have and can not play every game out there so relying on me isn’t always the best bet. I can only try my best after all. As such one thing you really need to do is:

4. Do your research!!!

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Spec Ops: The Line wasn’t a bad game, it just wasn’t for me.

Do you really want a game? Do you want it enough to work for it? To find out if it’s really worth your hard-earned money? Reviewers like me exist for a reason, demos exist too, so do forums and wiki’s. Look up everything you can about the game. Watch lets plays if you have to. I’ve always had a saying that you shouldn’t just read 1 review, you should read 50 because every review is different, if there was truly a definitive review out there, I wouldn’t be writing reviews to begin with.

If you aren’t wetting your pants with excitement, consider waiting. Sure you might not get that pre-order bonus but chances are it will be available as paid DLC later on anyways and if not, it’s not like you missed much. However wasting £40.00 on a game you get burned out on isn’t worth it and you want to get the most out of your money. You may also want to consider doing some price comparison, if you can find the game considerably cheaper elsewhere, you may re-think whether or not the game is worth giving a go, however don’t forget that price isn’t everything and that you also have to control your backlog. Make sure it’s a game that you can dedicate your time to finishing, it doesn’t matter how long it takes, just finish it!

Finally the last and most simple way is:

5. Take a break from gaming

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This doesn’t mean you have to quit gaming, maybe your gaming lifestyle needs adjusting… or perhaps you need to bring a few friends over or just consider doing something else with your time for a while. Consider what I do as being a “productive gaming hobby” I’m not playing anything as I write this, I’m doing this simply because I would rather spend my time writing rather than gaming right now. Even the most die-hard gamers know that gaming 100% of the time isn’t fun, you have to break it up. I don’t care how you do it but you need to change every so often. Heck it could be as simple as playing 2 games as once and going back and forth. Be warned though as this can cause more backlog issues. As such, Pick a game that you have already beaten and try replaying it again. That way you can play both familiar and new games so you have a mixture.

Variety is the spice of life, its never fun to be doing 1 thing constantly every single day, though some people would disagree with that (I.E MMO gamers) but the majority of gamers want something more from gaming rather than something to sink time into. Games need quality to make the experience memorable. It’s why I hate on games like Legend Of Dragoon so much (you probably won’t know that unless you read some of my old Destructoid blogs though), that game was ridiculously long. It wasn’t a bad game by any means but it over-stayed its welcome. It took years for me to finally complete it. Never again. Oh and also:

6. Know your limits

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I want to play God Hand, I really do, but if it’s going to be another masochistic game then I’m just going to have to pass up on it, at least for now. Sometimes you just want a nice relaxing game that you can just pick up and play rather than something which is going to kick your ass on a consistent basis. Think people! Before you pick up Dark Souls 3, think for a moment, are you truly prepared? Do you truly seek a challenge? Or are you simply starved for a new game and like the look of it? If the latter, put it off. I swear if you can’t handle those types of games it is often the best idea to just save them for later. There’s a time and a place for game like that, moments when you feel like you’re up for a challenge.

Games like God Hand and Devil May Cry are designed with replay-ability in mind, they are designed for players who want to invest time into the meta-game and constantly learn. F-Zero GX is the same, by all means as much as I love to preach about it, don’t just dive straight into it if you aren’t ready. F-Zero GX may be the best racing game ever but to truly embrace the awesomeness that F-Zero GX is you must develop patience and determination to get through it. Until you attain those qualities you are unfit for the task. Playing F-Zero GX is a reward in itself, a reward you should savor for a time in your life when you’re feeling like a winner. A time where you’re motivated to experience a true adrenaline rush. Of course you don’t want to hold off on getting F-Zero GX by any means, get it as soon as you are ready for some hardcore action. Heck if you really can’t cope with hard games, just play it on Novice. It’s not that hard.

So keep this in mind when you are considering purchasing games. Don’t just purchase something because everybody else is playing it. Find out whether or not the game is going to be valuable to you first. Read reviews (not just the ones on mainstream sites like Destructoid/IGN), research as much as possible, pay close attention to trailers and you may notice a few things that may alter your experience for better or worse.

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Don’t make the same mistake…

Have a great new year everyone… and don’t forget to keep your wallets sealed during the January sales unless there is something you absolutely must have.

Painkiller Review

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Have you ever had those moments where you are just fed up with the ever-growing complexity and heavily story driven titles of the modern era and you want something which goes back to the roots of gaming and revitalizes the simplified formula of the FPS genre? Luckily for you, the gaming gods have brought fortune upon you this day. Big guns, big bosses and big levels filled to the brim with cannon fodder, just waiting for you to bring them pain. This is Painkiller, Painkiller is nothing else. Painkiller is a game where you walk the path to hell and leave no survivors in your wake.

The story of Painkiller is simple, you are a bad motherfucker who has been ordered by god himself to slaughter the demonic generals, luckily for you he gives you a licence to kill so of course you pick the easier option. Total genocide, yes you heard me. You are going to deliver the entire demonic race their last requiem in the form of lead… lots and lots of lead. Now you know the story of Painkiller, you are free to press the “ESC” key with every wonderfully voice acted cut scene to save yourself the needless exposition you so tire of and don’t worry, the story doesn’t even make much sense anyways so you’re not missing much, they just decided to incorporate a free B movie in with the whole package, feel free to watch it if you like but it has nothing to do with Painkiller.

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Eat my shotgun you whore!!!

So with all that aside, with everything Painkiller has to offer does it manage to deliver a solid ass kicking experience worthy of being a timeless first person shooter? Hell fucking yes! The core elements which make Painkiller so great are not so simply defined in one word. After all, a game such as Painkiller cannot possibly have a straightforward explanation as to why it is one of the greatest shooters of all time and quite frankly there is a lot for me to cover in just the gameplay elements alone.

For starters, one of the first things you will notice almost immediately in Painkiller is the movement… that is if you have played an old school first person shooter before. If you haven’t, don’t worry you’ll master the technique in no time. It’s called bunnyhopping. Bunnyhopping is the ability to essentially increase movement speed by jumping allowing you to dodge bullets and weave through your enemies as you gun them down. Now bunnyhopping is very easy to learn but difficult to master. This is what separates the men from the boys in Painkiller. You see in Painkiller, bunnyhopping is a big deal.

 

“Painkiller is a game where you walk the path to hell and leave no survivors in your wake”

 

Unlike most first person shooters, Painkiller takes bunnyhopping to the next level as it pretty much doubles your movement speed. This means that as long as you are moving, you are nigh untouchable. Of course you will still have a lot of enemies to contend with and you will still get hurt… a lot but bunnyhopping effectively will minimize the pain you receive allowing you to deal more pain in return. This leads to some crazy looking gameplay which is a feast to the eyes and is without a doubt the most satisfying experience you will ever have in a first person shooter.

The game starts off quite simple as you are pitted against only melee enemies who are harmless from a safe distance, however they will pose a threat to you if they get close. The levels will slowly become less open and more closed in forcing you to manage your movement more diligently. This means lots and lots of bunnyhopping, using your increased level of agility to avoid their lethal attacks, get behind them and introduce them to your makeshift barrel blaster.

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However things begin to get tougher fast. Eventually enemies will begin to fire projectiles at you. This is where things begin to get tricky. Enemy projectiles can be avoided however it is not as simple as just weaving through dozens of melee enemies gunning them down one by one. This time you will need to fight fire with fire and bring out the trusty stakegun taking them out from afar before they get another chance to gun you down. Best of all, after you’ve stuck their corpse to the wall, you can pull out your trusty painkiller and launch it at them repeatedly in order to mug them of their demonic riches in the form of jewels which come flying out of their ass each time you pull the trigger.

As you can see, the arsenal of weaponry available to you is far from the conventional military apparatus. You are granted weapons worthy to only the most fearless of genocidal psychopaths, each with their own unique function which allows you to take those pesky demons by surprise. The Painkiller is a weapon which you can always rely on. At first glance it is almost identical to Link’s iconic Clawshot from the Zelda series but then… wait, hang on a minute, Painkiller came out in 2004, Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess came out in 2006 so technically the Painkiller came first so suck it Nintendo and suck it hard.

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Anyone up for some laser tag?

Of course there’s more to the Painkiller than meets the eye, sure you can launch it just like the Clawshot in Twilight Princess but it also doubles as a portable blender which you can use to slice and dice your enemies and make delicious demon smoothies. OK, I lied, they’re not delicious, they’re disgusting and that’s why they all need to die.

Naturally like any first person shooter, you’re going to need a real gun and boy do you have some serious firepower in your arsenal. The first being your weapon of choice for a huge portion of the game, the shotgun or as I like to call it a double-barreled massacre device designed with the sole purpose of deporting demons straight to hell. As an added bonus, this double barreled recipe for disaster comes with a buckshot duplication device allowing you to shoot a single shell out of two barrels. Better yet your destructive double barrel slinger of doom is fitted with liquid nitrogen so that you can shatter them in a single shot.

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Later on you will acquire the legendary stakegun, a weapon originally used to kill vampires. Well guess what? It kills demons just as effectively if not more. You can use the stakegun from any range and impale their worthless bodies with a pointed stick burning as it approaches them at an insane velocity which will cause so much shock and pain towards the enemy that their limbs will come flying off the moment the hit connects. If you’re lucky, you can also impale them to the nearest wall and keep them as trophy’s. In addition, your makeshift stick launcher is fitted directly onto a grenade launcher so that you can bring fireworks to the party, just fling it in the direction of the nearest group of demons and watch their body parts soar.

Of course there are other weapons available to you but I will not spoil the fun for you, have fun discovering them for yourself. All you need to know is that you’ll be well equipped for your journey along the borders of heaven and hell which spans across 24 levels filled with dozens of enemies, destructibles and secrets for you to discover. Though these secrets serve as a distraction from all the intense action you will be facing, they only go towards helping you increase your body count within the realm of purgatory. Put simply if your finger isn’t constantly tapping the lmb and the space bar, you aren’t playing it properly.

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With all that said however, purgatory is home to some iconic landmarks that you will pass through on your journey. Purgatory is home to many historic locations which have found themselves sealed within due to their connection with implications that were caused there in the realm of the living. You will pay a visit to many forsaken lands and bear witness to the remains of the terrifying tragedies which partook there. Other locations will have you gaze in awe as you embark across forbidden and unholy lands of grandeur. Every place has its own story to tell, a story left unwritten, a story that guides you along a linear path and to your destiny. You cannot control the path destiny has weaved for you, you can only control the field of battle. That is the fate of all who pass on to the realm of Purgatory. It is up to you to piece this story together… that is when you aren’t fighting for your life.

You will find yourself isolated in these desolate lands as very few are fated to walk the path to heaven or hell and many of those who are misfortunate enough to do so often fall into damnation. With only you and your destructive arsenal at your disposal, you are left with no other choice but to keep on killing because everything is your enemy in this game and everything must die no matter what. How you go about doing these deeds is up to you. Though the demons are greater in number, the odds are in your favor. The path will open up with every foe you slay and it will guide you to your next destination, you will never lose your way in Purgatory… but there is no escape.

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Uh oh… looks like we angered the locals…

Every demon you slay makes you stronger. Every soul you consume gives you life. You will kill your enemies and devour their souls to become stronger and when the time comes, they will become the prey. If you just happen to acquire 66 souls you will receive the ultimate power known as demon morph. A power which will grant you with a powerful scream, an echo which tears apart all the unfortunate victims who dare to oppose you. To add insult to injury, you are also granted temporary immortality so the more that oppose you, the more devastating your powers will become.

Did I forget to mention that Painkiller is accompanied with a badass heavy metal soundtrack? Of course it is, what else are you going to listen to as you gun down masses of demonic fodder? The music is quite possibly the lifeblood of Painkiller, together with the endless, chaotic and downright sadistic gameplay it makes for an exhilarating experience. There are countless metal tracks to listen to with many different styles to choose from. I am no expert but I’m pretty sure any metal-heads out there will be able to appreciate the level of diversity in the music of Painkiller.

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The music is so good it makes me wanna do this.

As you can see, there is a lot to like about Painkiller, most would say that is perfect in every way. Unfortunately, as good as it is, Painkiller does have one notable flaw. The boss fights in Painkiller are huge and very powerful… too powerful. While some bosses are great, others are too great. Certain bosses are immune to bullets and require you to find their weakness.

Some bosses can also deal a lot of damage to you which can sometimes be difficult to avoid. This can often be troublesome when you are low on health and as it is impossible to acquire souls in boss fights it can result in a lot of cheap deaths. Nobody said Painkiller would be easy… this is purgatory after all. Luckily for you, tarot cards give you superhuman strength enabling you to kill most bosses is under 2 minutes.

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I think I’ve found your weakness buddy

To walk the path of Purgatory is to walk the path of judgement, your only hope is to kill everything that moves but no hope will ever be enough, you will never find the true path to heaven, the only known thing that lies in wake is your demise but how long will you survive the endless gauntlet of purgatory? Will you ever find a way out of here? Or have you been subjected to eternal damnation? Though you may never find an answer to these questions there is one thing for certain, many demons will be harmed in the process and you will keep on fighting till every last one of them is dead. This is Painkiller, this is your destiny, our destiny, we must all walk this path in life, the only question is, when will you walk the path of damnation?

Quite frankly there isn’t a better time to start, pick up your copy of Painkiller right now, whether it be a physical retail copy, a digital Steam copy or a DRM free digital copy. It matters not how you approach it, all routes lead to the same path and you will follow that path until the very end. Will you survive? Or will you be damned forever? One thing’s for sure, if you don’t start now, it may be too late for you, you must play this game and you should play it as soon as possible for everything is at stake, this game is the definitive fast paced, adrenaline inducing first person shooter and if that sounds even remotely interesting to you, it should be illegal for you not to play this game.


Plot/Story: Wait, Painkiller had a story? Sorry I completely forgot, what is this story?
Visuals: Exceptional
Gameplay: Exceptional
Music: Excellent
Lifespan: Decent Length
Would you replay? Hell yes (I put emphasis on the word “hell” for a reason)

Overall: Exceptional

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For a more serious, in-depth analysis of the game, watch this video.

Value: £40.00+

Purchase Painkiller (PC DVD)

Need For Speed 2015 Review

Oh boy… where do I even begin with this game? First I’m just going to say that Need For Speed 2015 is the best NFS game in the past decade but I shall cease my praises there. Why? Because Need For Speed 2015 is a train-wreck… or should I say “car-wreck”.

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Now before we get to the meat of the problem, I want to talk about my history with the NFS games. Now I started with Underground 2, not the best game in the series I must say but it does hold a lot of merit. For one it had some very deep tuning and some of the race events such as URL’s were pretty fun… whilst others such as street X and drags… not so much, not to mention the annoying rubber band AI in every race. However the car customization and the free roam more than made up for its shortcomings, plus aside from the scummy AI, the races were mostly enjoyable.

Then we got Need For Speed Most Wanted, arguably a step back from Underground, especially in the customization department. The AI was better but the handling of the vehicles was far worse. Every single car in that game handled like a truck going at high speeds and they might as well be trucks seeing as half the time is spent smashing up cops getting milestones. Speaking of the cops, they were everywhere, you couldn’t free roam without triggering  a pursuit, it’s near impossible. Where the game ultimately flopped for me was the lack of tuning and customization. However I will not doubt that Most Wanted had some crazy pursuits and was damn fun the whole way because of them and the races were still not all that bad.

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Then we had Need For Speed Carbon, the follow-up game to Most Wanted and my favorite game in the series. This game seemingly did everything right. The cars handle great and the handbrake lets you drift around like a god. Races are fun and the enemy racers do not have rubber band AI, this is proven by the fact that your crew member ally does have rubber band AI, presumably to keep up. Sure it can be annoying but it does help you most of the time and it is funny to see them crash at random and somehow catch up to you in seconds.

The pinnacle of what made Carbon so great wasn’t just the racing, it was also the customization. Carbon let you place unlimited vinyls on your ride and gave you autosculpt which let you adjust the body parts on your car to make it truly unique. Now while they didn’t have stuff like wing mirrors, spinners, neons, lights, hydraulics and trunk decor like they had in Underground 2, they still had a great assortment of options and the fact that you could actually apply and fully adjust limitless vinyls more than made up for it in my opinion though I do not discredit what Underground 2 did in terms of customization and it still holds up today… but so does Carbon… in a different way.

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Now Need For Speed 2015 strives to take the series back to its roots and it does just that which I will give credit for. However, the execution is absolutely downright atrocious. Before I want to bring up the design atrocities however, I wish to talk about the biggest atrocity of them all, the always online DRM, courtesy of Electronic Arts of course.

Now what makes always online DRM a big problem… other than the fact that it makes the game impossible to play without internet? Simple, what happened to Need For Speed World? Can you still play it? No you can’t, why? Because it had always online DRM that’s why… but that is the very nature of all MMO’s so it is somewhat expected to have it. However Need For Speed 2015 is not only a multiplayer game, it is also a single player game and as someone who bought this game second hand for PS4 and doesn’t have PlayStation plus, naturally I’m going to be playing by my lonesome.

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Thankfully there aren’t any microtransactions this time round. I guess EA couldn’t profit from them enough and got complaints. Still, the always online DRM is not a good trade-off

However Ghost games reassured us that you do not require a PlayStation plus subscription to play alone so it’s fine… no it’s not! The fact that the game doesn’t require PlayStation plus to play it alone is not “acceptable” it’s to be expected because if they did make you pay for PlayStation plus then they’d lose money since people like me without a PlayStation plus subscription couldn’t play it anyways and considering how crap this game has been, perhaps it would have been for the best. Then again If they did charge for PlayStation plus to play this game solo then I would have been even more pissed off simply due to the fact that it actually happened in the first place and it would encourage Sony to encourage other third parties to do the same with their games to force their shitty service down our throats.

However we are getting side-tracked here, the core of the problem is the always online DRM and the fact that it gives Electronic Arts the power to shut the game down after 30 days notice which we would have absolutely no control of which is the most unethical thing Electronic Arts could possibly do. Seriously I would take microtransactions any day over always online DRM for this very reason, I don’t want to be left with a disk that serves as nothing more than a coffee coaster later down the line. I want a game which I can play time and time again, like Need For Speed Carbon (which I still play by the way).

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The worst part of all this is the simple fact that the car customization, while somewhat limited is actually pretty damn good. It took the limitless vinyl options from Carbon alongside the cool body options from Underground 2 and melds them together. Sure the system isn’t perfect as there is no real symmetry as to speak of rather you can simply copy one side of your car to the other side but when designing cool hoods you really have to be accurate because there is no symmetry option like in Carbon. Also autosculpt is nowhere to be seen which is a shame. Add to that the fact that many of the best cars have next to no customization and you have some reasonable car customization which can be a lot of fun.

However, all this is single-handedly crushed by the always online DRM. Why? Well lets look at it like this. You spend hours of hard work trying to make the coolest looking car and suddenly, EA announces that they’re shutting the servers down. Thirty days later, all your hard work goes down the drain and your game disk is a coffee coaster, anyone up for a game of frisbee? Bonus points for those who manage to hurl it into the balls of the person who decided that always online DRM was such a good idea.

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Now that all of that has been said, let’s talk about the gameplay which is complete and utter trash. Here’s why. Remember Burnout 3? It was a fun game that let you smash into cars and send them into walls where they go flying in the air. That was fun and all… until you crashed. Now to make things less gloomy, Burnout 3 let you control your car as it flew up into the air allowing you to land it directly in front of an enemy car which would give you an aftertouch takedown and refill your boost bar for a second wind.

Sadly the same annoying crash cam is in Need For Speed 2015 (and has been used in other games in the series which are far worse) and all it does is bugger up the races to the point where the player simply gets frustrated. Now before you start blaming the Burnout series for starting it all, remember that this is Need For Speed, not Burnout. Burnout’s mechanics were designed around the crash cam and made things fair for those who crashed a lot and the fact that you could control your crashes and move your car and get takedowns mid-crash made them less annoying since you could bounce back easily.

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You’ll spend a long time in first place… until you crashed then you’ll be pushed all the way to the back of the pack.

In addition, the boost system allows you to easily catch up to enemies fast so you can take them down and have them crash instead. It’s more of a Mario Kart style experience in the sense that it’s all random nonsense but that’s what it’s supposed to be. It’s random but fair and very rewarding to those who enjoy smashing up other racers.

In this game however, you can’t even take other racers down and the crash cam has no interactive options whatsoever and all it serves to do is to put you 4 places behind instantly, usually straight to last place unless you are very lucky. This is because of the horrifically infuriating rubber band AI, I cannot stress how annoying the AI in this game is, it’s super easy to pass but if you make a mistake, you are way behind them. In other words, just keep driving fast and they’ll never catch up to you… unless you crash in which case they will all catch up to you. Certain events on the other hand do have pretty frustrating AI in the sense that they are nigh impossible to pass. Fortunately with the right vehicle and tuning you can speed past them with minimal effort.

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Once again, like in Carbon, the Dodge Viper is the king in this game, it’s fast, accelerates well and its handling, being fully customizable and all handles pretty well. However it doesn’t matter how fast your car is. One traffic car or bollard will send you straight to last place. You may also be sent to last place if your car hits a railing on its side at high speeds. The silly thing is in Need For Speed Carbon, not only does none of this happen but if it does you could easily maneuver out of it and stay in top position.

“You spend hours of hard work trying to make the coolest looking car and suddenly, EA announces that they’re shutting the servers down”

Ghost decides that instead of having a panic button or letting the player maneuver out of there themselves, they instead have to watch a short clip of their car spinning out or rolling over… even when it’s physically impossible to do so. If your car touches a railing at high speeds it will crash even if it just slightly clips the wall a little, it’s not like you can just stabilize your car, the game makes sure you lose control of it in favor of its epic crash scene that no one cares about.

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The crash cam is so blurry it simply isn’t worth showing it

I mean it doesn’t surprise me considering the fact that Ghost is made up of former Criterion devs but can they really be this stupid as to put it into Need For Speed 2015 after the poor reception Need For Speed Most Wanted 2012 got for doing the same exact thing? Yes they can be and they are.

Now I’m not going to discredit the effort the devs went into to truly making this a Need For Speed game worthy of anyone’s attention and sure it does bring back the good ol’ Need For Speed style but not in the way we had hoped and this is simply due to the fact that Ghost weren’t paying enough attention to the fan base and insisted on carrying on with what they did with Most Wanted 2012 and bringing back the horrendous crash system and also by their lack of effort on designing good AI that isn’t cheap.

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The world map is still large and there is a little bit of exploration value to be had. There are also plenty of race events, too bad they all suck.

However I can’t put the full blame on Ghost games, sure they are a little bit stupid but that’s only because they decided to work under Electronic Arts, a company that is far from stupid. Seriously if you’re stupid enough to work under such a shitty publisher, it is no surprise that you would make so many stupid design decisions with your games. Ghost games aren’t the biggest culprit here though.

The biggest culprit and the very reason why I bought this game second hand is Electronic Arts themselves which suffice to say, just happen to be one of the worst things that have happened to gaming period and one of the scummiest publishers too. Fuck Electronic Arts and if you bought into their EA access bullshit then you are a severely deluded individual and you really have no right to complain about how terrible this game is.

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Fortunately for me, I couldn’t give a damn when I reviewed this game because people deluded enough to buy the game day 1 aren’t even worth my time. However my apologies to those who have been waiting patiently for this review. Please understand that I didn’t want to waste too much of my personal funds on this game and don’t think I’m going to suck on EA’s dick for a review copy, sorry it’s not my style. So hopefully those who have held off on the game for this long are reading this and can be reassured that their patience shall be rewarded because it is highly likely that you won’t be buying this piece of shit game and if you don’t I don’t blame you. If you’re curious I cannot stop you but I do believe that your enjoyment won’t be much better than mine.

Now I’m not going to lie, the game does do things right, it does. However the issues the game has are just downright unforgivable and being an Electronic Arts game, it doesn’t deserve your time or money. Whether you want to buy the game or not is up to you, I’m just telling you what you’ll be in for when you do and that goes for all of my reviews. However for the love of god, I beg that you do not buy this game digitally or on PC because that means more money goes to this scummy publisher.

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Oh don’t think I’m finished yet people, I’m only just starting to rip this game apart. The storyline of this game is an absolute joke and not in a funny way. You will cringe as you watch all of these terrible cut-scenes and it’s not in the same cheesy yet charming way that Need For Speed Most Wanted and Carbon did, instead it throws a bunch of unlikable characters at you who you don’t grow invested in and they do nothing but throw “bro” culture down your throats and make all kinds of cheesy gestures and fist bumps when you really don’t give a fuck.

You see, Need For Speed Most Wanted’s story worked because people didn’t play nice. The characters, save for a few were a bunch of ghetto punks who want you out of town and want you out of their territory this threatens the player into wanting to be the best racer they can and prove that they are better than those punks. Many of the best Need For Speed games followed this and while it is an overused concept, it works and it works really well, it motivates the player and motivation is the goal of every videogame storyline, at least based on my philosophical viewpoint.

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The story of Need For Speed 2015 doesn’t seem to have any purpose, it’s just there for the sake of being… there. Sure having real race car drivers is cool and all (even though I’ve never seen or heard of any of them being not into cars and all that) but is it really even needed? What is my motivation in the story? To race with my cool “bro” friends and being told how sick I am when I win a race after retrying it countless times to actually get the win due to the shitty crash cam? Hell no. Now that’s not to say that this is all there is to the story because it’s not. There is a separate side-story called “Eddies challenges” where they bring the main villain from Need For Speed Underground back to challenge all the racers in Ventura Bay (the fictional city of the game) to several races where they all race against him in the finale.

Now in theory this is just what the game needed… except it isn’t. In fact it’s the complete opposite. Eddie is about as threatening as a stick insect, while he does make some derogatory statements towards you and the other racers, he does so in a way that is so cliché and boring that you really don’t give a shit, he was a rushed baddie who didn’t really end up being that much of a bad guy by the end. In fact in his losing speech when you beat him, he is actually a good sport… unlike Razor who threatened to hunt you down and refused to give you the keys to your BMW M3 GTR which he took from you at the beginning of the game. It really makes for a lame villain who is completely forgettable. Even Darrius, as lame as he was compared to that of Razor was more interesting and memorable. Even Caleb was more memorable. Even the original Eddie from Underground was more memorable.

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This is made so much worse by the lack of boss races in the game. Sure there are 1 on 1 races but you can hardly call them bosses. There are too many of them littered everywhere to be called a boss race and even the final race with Eddie, you are pitted with several other racers and Eddie just happened to be in last place the whole race. So much for him I guess. On the plus side you do get his Skyline for beating him. Too bad it’s useless since you can’t customize it like you could with the boss cars of Most Wanted and Carbon. Plus by that point you’ll have already got yourself a Dodge Viper or a Ferrari so you really don’t need his car, same goes for all the icons cars which are all shit except from Moroshi’s Lamborghini which I will admit is pretty cool looking, too bad he can’t drive it for shit, I saw his car crash into a wall more than any other car.

Cop chases have returned and quite frankly they shouldn’t have bothered putting them in. The cops in this game are nothing more than a nuisance, if you’re driving a reasonably fast car, you can outrun them in seconds. If not then don’t worry because the cops are not very aggressive and are very easy to trick. In fact the cops are so bad that I had a lot of trouble doing the outlaw missions simply because I couldn’t keep the cops on me for long enough. I had to sit there and wait for the cops to come for me just so they could catch up.

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This is literally the highest level of aggression you will ever see from the cops in this game

On higher heat levels, the cops deploy roadblocks and spike strips. Roadblocks are pretty lame this time round, many of them consist of nothing but weak barricades you can break through like paper, others are unbreakable and will cause you to smash your car. At the highest heat levels there are spike strips around and while they aren’t that annoying in pursuits, they can be very annoying in races since they slow you down to a crawl and it’s very difficult to notice them because the roadblocks aren’t easy to see this time round since there is basically nothing there.

I miss the ability to smash cop cars and smash into pursuit breakers to shut them down. Now cop cars cannot be immobilized and if you hit one you are better off colliding into a wall because it doesn’t do anything to them. All you can do is run away, what’s the fun in that? To make things worse, each time you encounter a cop, the screen flashes red very fast, this is an epilepsy waiting to happen. The annoying thing is that it happens all the time and it doesn’t feel good on the eyes. Couldn’t they have found a better way of alerting the player that cops are nearby?

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And finally the visuals and the music. What is there to say really? The cars look good I suppose but this was to be expected from a AAA racing game in 2015. The music is forgettable though they did bring back a few oldies from other NFS games in Eddies challenges including tracks from Carbon (not the licensed tracks). The environments just feel all blurry with all the rain. It just isn’t tasteful to me and it doesn’t make any of the locations stand out. I miss all of the cool neon lights from Underground 2 and Carbon it made the cities more memorable. I can’t say that Ventura Bay is anything close to the word memorable. I will say though that it is still better than shitty Fairhaven from Most Wanted 2012.

So overall what should I say? Should I say that I’m disappointed or should I say that I saw this coming? Because the answer is both. I knew this game would be a train wreck but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s a train wreck. It just goes to show that you can’t trust EA’s game’s anymore, they have been milked to death and I just hope that some Indie dev will one day get the funds to be able to get the licences for some real-life cars and bring us a street racing game in the same vein as this one. Otherwise we can only rely on Rockstar (because Juiced and all the other street racing games don’t have free roaming), the sole competitor of Need For Speed and believe me, with GTA Online in the state it’s in, they haven’t been in my good books recently and to me it just seems that they’ve given up on the Midnight Club series.

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Just as long as there are no microtransactions or DRM I’ll be happy, just give us another Midnight Club game Rockstar, I’m all for giving people second chances and I will give you another chance if you would stop milking GTA to death and start to make some more Midnight Club. Otherwise I’m going to miss the street racing genre. It is one of the most fun sub genres of the racing genre and it’s sad to see it fall beneath EA’s greed.

I would give this game a more lenient score if it wasn’t for the always online DRM because it does do some things right but the always online DRM single handedly destroyed all the respect I could have had for this game. Rest in peace Need For Speed, you were fun while you lasted… but your body has rotted in the morgue for long enough, it’s time to put you in your grave… for good this time.


Story/plot: Awful
Visuals: Decent
Customization: Good (this score is rendered worthless when you consider the DRM)
Gameplay: Bad
Music: Forgettable
Lifespan: Decent length
Would You Replay? No and if I did I’d have to do it on a separate account because of the DRM.

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Overall: Pretty Bad

silver-star-of-fuck-this-game

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Value: £0.00 (when the servers shut down, your disk is a coffee coaster)

Duke Nukem Forever Review

It’s been 20 years since Duke Nukem 3D and as such Gearbox have decided to re-release it. However the Duke Nukem series hit an all time low as far as ratings were concerned with it’s latest installment Duke Nukem Forever. As such I thought I’d dive straight into it, yet another Humble Bundle game that came with The Darkness II.

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Now I haven’t played much of the Duke Nukem series. I remember only playing a demo of Duke Nukem 3D which was a pretty sizable demo. Should I have picked it up? Maybe… however I ended up getting this instead. Regardless I had fun playing it back then. It had some cleaver secrets and some pretty well designed levels for its time with lots of iconic venues. Of course I didn’t get to play all of it but I just loved using weapons like the Ripper to mow down enemies, those were my best moments playing Duke Nukem, shooting things and exploring the levels. The same could be said about all FPS games really.

So when I picked up Duke Nukem Forever I wondered to myself “How bad could it possibly be?”. I dove straight in and was almost immediately introduced to a boss fight who couldn’t even hit me because I was constantly circling him as he repeated the same attacks over and over again. This is when I realized that Tryptych didn’t really give a fuck about the game’s AI, they added very little variation with the boss fights so much so that they felt stale and uninspired.

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That was the first thing that stuck out like a sore thumb to me, that and the simple fact that each time the bosses health bar reaches zero, you had to perform a quick time event execution sequence to finish them off. Needless to say, I didn’t know this at the time and as such I kept fighting it and fighting it till I finally realized what I had to do.

Then the game immediately dropped all of the action in favor of some walking simulation nonsense which exists solely to show just how much of an egomaniac, narcissist Duke is and how everyone and their mother knows and worships him as if he is some kind of god. Funnily enough, I actually enjoyed these sections more than I did the actual game. Why? Because of the level of interactivity in each of those sections. I swear I spent hours just drinking soda out of a vending machine just to see how much of a mess I could make on the floor. That and I love vending machines. Why couldn’t they make the ones in DOOM do something?

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Honestly I felt like I was playing two different games at some point. Watching Duke fanny around with pretty much everything is ironically far more satisfying than anything the combat had to offer, so much so that it appeared that the developers knew this and as a result they reduced the level of combat to a minimal. This time instead of fighting tonnes and tonnes of enemies, you are instead thrown into long-ass physics puzzle sections only to encounter brief combat sections every now and again and then returned to the puzzle solving and the occasional walking around and interacting with nonsense stuff. Then you’re thrown into a turret section where you are severely punished for fucking up and finally vehicle sections which were also pretty satisfying IMO.

However the meat of the game, I.E the combat is where Duke Nukem Forever falls flat on its ass. Now the two weapon limit is annoying in itself but I would have been able to cope with it if the weapons you were given didn’t have such limited ammo capacity. Honestly this wasn’t an issue back in Duke Nukem 3D due to the weapon carry limit which is arguably the biggest complaint this game received simply because each weapon has such limited ammo that you are forced to swap between new weapons every so often. This wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t make so many of the weapons situational. The railgun for one is near useless in a game like Duke Nukem Forever as it is a single shot sniper in a game where you supposed to be up close and personal with the enemy. Even Painkiller’s sniper rifle managed to adapt to this style of gameplay but the railgun feels misplaced.

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Other weapons such as the Freeze Ray and the Shrink Ray feel needless, those weapons were originally designed for experimentation purposes to go alongside the huge roster of weapons at your disposal in Duke Nukem 3D but would I seriously swap one of them with the Ripper/Shotgun? Hell no. To add insult to injury, most bosses are immune to bullets and any other non-explosive weapon so it’s important to keep an explosive weapon with you at all times.

In addition you also have access to Pipe Bombs and Trip Mines. Trip Mines are basically useless in most encounters because the enemies just appear and you often end up blocking your own routes. there are even times where the enemy has walked directly into the laser and still lived and in the end I have to shoot the mine to trigger it manually. Pipe Bombs are still useful thankfully and can pack quite a punch against regular enemies. They can also bounce off of jump pads which look like a combination of a flytrap and a rotten cucumber.

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Movement in Duke Nukem Forever is pretty standard, you can dodge most bullets and avoid most melee attacks with ease. Explosives however are near impossible to avoid completely. I find that explosive attacks often end up being in a Leningrad esque scenario in the sense that it’s kill or be killed. Now this would have probably been more acceptable if it wasn’t for the horrible regenerating health mechanic that this game shoehorns in. I mean seriously did you need to cover at all in Duke Nukem 3D? No you just shot your way through everything and dodged everything. In this game however you are hit with high AOE blast radius attacks which deal a fuck ton of damage.

Octobrains are the worst for this because they have way too much health and deal way too much unavoidable damage with their explosive breath attack (or whatever it is) which deals insane damage. There really isn’t much balance in terms of the enemy strengths and weaknesses from what I have seen. Octobrains are pretty resistant to the Ripper, the Shotgun is useless because they like to stay as far away from you as possible, rockets and grenades are useless because they fire them back at you and the Shrink Ray is useless since you can’t squash them and makes an already small, fast moving target even harder to hit. Plus the Freeze Ray lacks the range to even reach them.

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Most enemies on the other hand will die to pretty much anything except bosses which to me feel all the same. Shoot them get into cover, shoot their minions, leave cover, shoot them again, rinse and repeat. Sure they try to mix them up with certain fights but the lack of cover makes these fights really annoying and the way you are forced to play against these bosses is just nonsense, especially in a Duke Nukem game. The new alien weapons on offer feel rather gimped in comparison to returning weapons and many of them have limited ammo capacity.  Some of them are pretty strong but  you’ll never rely on them because it’s difficult to find ammo for them and other weapons do the job better in general.

It seems what they were trying to do is make it so that certain weapons are better against certain enemies but the two weapon limit ruins this completely. It they didn’t have this two weapon limit I believe the enemy encounters wouldn’t be so uninteresting because there would be so many ways to experiment with lots of different weapons at your disposal and you’d be encouraged to try them all.

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I made a point of trying to stick with the Ripper and the Devastator for as long as I could because there would occasionally be ammo crates littered around which gave you access to infinite ammo, you would keep these two weapons around for this reason. However I found myself trying to conserve as much ammo as possible in most sections which was a pain, even trying to melee certain enemies to try and kill them. Yes that includes meleeing an Octobrain.

It just doesn’t feel right, I want to put my finger on the LMB and mow enemies down fast but instead I fire the ripper in short bursts which was not as it was intended to be used for. I didn’t get any satisfaction from any of the weapons for that reason which is a huge problem in a first person shooter like Duke Nukem Forever.

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The Level Design is decent for the most part… if a bit linear. A lot of the locations felt uninspired as opposed to that of Duke Nukem 3D. You find yourself in the same bland offices with the same bland tunnels and wreckage for most of the game, it likes to throw the same at you a lot and there isn’t as much variety as I would have liked. Granted Duke Nukem 3D has a lot of levels that look very samey the levels are only that way because of their thematic style and it is consistant. However when you are on the Duke Dome mission in Duke Nukem Forever, most of that mission is spend wandering around wastelands of wreckage and construction sites and it gets old seeing these areas when in reality you want to see what’s going on inside the Duke Dome that the level is supposed to revolve around. Funnily enough once you finally reach the Duke Dome, the level ends.

The biggest annoyance for me was the puzzles. I could cope with the rest of it but the puzzles were just boring. Some of them were straightforward and simple but just took time to do such as filling up a crane with barrels to re-balance the weight. I find that the game threw way too many puzzles at you and it’s just needless. They weren’t even that hard and quite frankly I’m pretty thankful for that. Nevertheless it’s more busywork the player has to do to reach the next shooting section and even that wasn’t much to look forward to.

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Quite frankly I had the most fun playing through the walking sim sections and funnily enough I was looking forward to see more of them but eventually there comes to a point in the game where you no longer have any of these interactive moments kinda like in Bioshock Infinite, heck It’s as if most 2K games just love to have these walking sim sections in them. This wouldn’t have been so bad if the actual gameplay wasn’t so monotonous. The sad thing is that the best level in the game turned out to be nothing more than a dream which is hilarious as it just goes to show that even Duke himself is getting bored with this game and it shows.

I spent hours playing the snooker minigame trying to get that ego boost and I ended up getting more engaged in that and all the other minigames on offer than I did with any of the shooting sections. I had a lot of fun playing air hockey and the pinball game was intense and pretty cool. There was also the whack-a-mole game in which I used far more reflexes than I did in any of the shootouts. The dream section only lasted so long though and you couldn’t revisit it or any other area like it for the rest of the game.

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Occasionally there were a few other distractions littered around levels and the odd restrooms where you could piss about in (literally) but aside from that is was just walking through repetitive levels, solving puzzles and shooting baddies, trying to keep your ammo stocked up. I swear that I spent the vast majority of the game searching for Ammo for my guns simply because I wanted to keep my Ripper in my inventory and didn’t want to swap it for anything else.

Visually speaking, the bright lighting kinda felt a mid misplaced, unlike in Duke Nukem 3D where it was always night time which added this cool lit up city vibe, Duke Nukem Forever is brightly lit outdoors 95% of the time  and it made the visuals feel lacking in the variety department. A lot of the visual appeal shown to us in Duke Nukem Forever’s original trailer showed this dark urban environment that I felt was lacking in Duke Nukem Forever.

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Bright lighting and a dark cloudy sky… not the best combination.

Only inside buildings did you ever see any dark lighting which was a shame. Regardless the visuals aren’t as bad as people make them out to be, there are some nice locations and some dull locations. I find that later on in the games the levels become really dull and samey though.

Additionally the game also seems to have a few minor characters and I mean minor characters. It’s a shame you didn’t really get to see much out of them though as Duke was the central character of the game and even though I understand that they were trying to get that one man army vibe that Painkiller gives, these minor characters just feel as if they were shoved in there in order to take the piss out of modern shooters when it only serves to make them the same… if not worse.

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It wouldn’t have been so bad if there was some banter between Duke and Dylan but a lot of the time, Duke just stands there and listens, he doesn’t ever communicate with his team when he is battling alongside them. If anything it’s a missed opportunity on Gearbox’s part.

It would have been cool to have given Duke a cool side-kick who would have given Duke someone to natter to during some of his missions rather than just nattering to himself which is quite amusing to be honest. I guess deep down, Duke isn’t much of a sociable person, if fact despite being an alpha male stereotype he appears to be socially awkward in most situations… unless he’s talking to one of his “babes”.

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Dylan seemed like a cool guy to me. Shame he was completely shadowed by the Duke.

The music in the game is pretty forgettable minus the theme song of course which never gets old. There are a lot of tense tracks that appear at random in certain sections but for the most part there is nothing but silence. There are also remixes of the Duke Nukem theme song in the ambiance as well as some classic jingles which play in the elevator which anyone who played Duke Nukem 3D will remember.

All in all as a shooter, Duke Nukem Forever works… it just doesn’t work very well. It feels like a very watered down shooter with minimal satisfaction. To be fair I can see the appeal die hard Duke fans can get from this game as Duke is still for the most part the same Duke, you’re still facing the same enemies and you still get the same legendary quotes. They just threw it all into a very bland modern FPS which tries to function more like an old school FPS at times. However it fails due to the use of modern mechanics which leads to the game being a clusterfuck at times. Still if you want more Duke Nukem, there really is no harm in playing this. It’s not the worst FPS out there and is definitely far better than the horrendous Red Faction was IMO.

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Tough choice…

I recommend trying it only if you’re a die hard Duke Nukem fan as you will get something out of it so long as you keep your expectations low but even then I really mean it, the game still feels very sterile even to the most die hard fans however I do honestly believe that die hard Duke fans will be able to appreciate this game and will definitely enjoy the many throwbacks this game has especially the walking sections since a lot of it is pretty much a tribute to Duke himself and the game still works as a shooter. For everybody else, just wait for the 20th anniversary remaster for Duke Nukem 3D.


Story/Plot: Decent
Visuals: Decent
Gameplay: Mediocre
Music: Decent
Lifespan: Quite Short
Would you replay? No

Overall: 20160920201056_2

Value: £5.00

Purchase Duke Nukem Forever (PS3)

The Darkness II Review

Well I didn’t expect to be playing this game. The Darkness II was a random punt of mine, I got it from Humble 2k Bundle so it was dirt cheap and the game looked interesting enough to get me to pick it up.

Anyways, The Darkness II is a First Person Shooter based on a comic book series which I don’t know anything about, despite all this, I didn’t have too much trouble following the story, even if it was a little crazy. The story sets you as a guy named Jackie who suffered a traumatic experience and became possessed by a powerful force known as the darkness. Naturally this makes him a badass anti-hero and like all good badasses, he is practically the Godfather of the local Mafia.

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Unfortunately for him, the darkness inside him attracts trouble and as such he has to deal with an enemy faction known as the Brotherhood who seek to harness the powers of The Darkness for themselves.

Now the only issue I have with the game’s storyline is that they don’t really build on the whole “mafia” family thing, perhaps they did in the original game but if you jumped into this game without playing the original the pacing of the game is very concise and this is very much to its detriment for newcomers trying to experience the complete story but those who played the original game might appreciate this since they don’t need all the extra exposition.

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Despite this the plot itself is very straightforward and easy to follow but for newcomers such as myself it may lack a certain level of depth that you come to expect from most games. Still, I don’t think story is particularly important in these types of games however, it’s easy to tell that The Darkness II tries to deliver a solid narrative experience and while the narrative does its job, it feels kinda rushed. Even those who are fans of the original may realize this pretty quickly as the game doesn’t last that long to begin with.

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You will frequently encounter these monologue sections where Jackie talks about himself and The Darkness. It doesn’t really connect to the story in any way though.

Visually, the game is pretty good, there are lots of vibrant colors in this game similar to that of the Bioshock series, if you have played any of the Bioshock games then you will know what to expect here. Needless to say, the game still has that dark tone in order to reflect on the whole “darkness” theme this game is going for. You can tell that the developers wanted to make you feel like the darkness and not just some random dude with a pair of handguns.

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In a way you could say that The Darkness II opts for a similar visual style to Shadows Of the Damned in a lot of ways and you wouldn’t be far from wrong. You could also say that it feels similar to Painkiller in a lot of ways however because of the focus on the narrative, the visuals don’t give the game the same feeling as Painkiller as they were opting for a completely different approach. Still I do like this visual style and it really befits the comic book world that they’re trying to replicate.

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There really isn’t much to say about the music, it was just… forgettable I guess. It’s mostly just ambient sound which doesn’t really work with a narrative driven game like The Darkness II even though I saw the reasoning behind it, it just doesn’t do anything for me, nor does it stand out. Then again, that’s just my opinion so make of that what you will.

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The game does have a few ambient quirks in the game’s hub area, the mansion and while exploring this hub is somewhat enjoyable, I wish a lot of the events that occur there don’t have any relevance to the game’s story which is a shame, I was hoping everything would tie in. It is nice that there is a cool looking hub area though as it was fun to explore.

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Gameplay wise the game is rather innovative though this is sometimes to the game’s detriment which I will get to later. Regardless there are lots of different ways to mow down your enemies. Not only do you have guns which can shoot enemies but you also have powerful demonic tentacles coming out of your body. These can be used in all kinds of different ways and it adds a lot of variety to the game and allows you to play in all kinds of different ways.

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Like with most modern FPS, there is a leveling system in the form of skill trees which you can use to put points into each of your skills. I do think the skill trees work quite well in this game as the darkness allows you to experiment with different playstyles and as such the skill trees allow you to enhance these playstyles based on personal preferences, that being said, while the skill trees do let you focus on a specific set of powers, it doesn’t take away from the experimentation the game has to offer.

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Of course the game likes to throw different types of enemies at you and each one responds to each playstyle differently, certain playstyles work better than others in certain situations. Some encounters can be dealt with quickly when the right tools are available, some can be quite tricky if you don’t know how to approach them. There is a lot of thinking on your feet in this game and this would have been great if the game wasn’t so incredibly clunky.

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First of all I’d like to talk about the controls. If you are playing the PC version, by all means play with a gamepad, the keyboard controls are poorly optimized and it shows. This game is almost as complicated to play on a Keyboard as Freespace, there are so many keys you will need to press spread out all over and this can make things chaotic in the heat of things.

This game loves to overwhelm you a lot but unlike the story, the pacing of the gameplay is actually quite slow. Jackie himself moves at a snail’s pace and though there is a sprint button, the controls are so bad that you’ll never use it effectively.

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Additionally there are a few annoying features that this game brings to the table. The first one being the heart consumption system. While this is a wonderful idea in concept, it doesn’t work very well simply due to the fact that you have to constantly press E to consume souls *cough* hearts (sorry, I’ve played too much Painkiller) and doing this in the heat of battle is essential if you want to stay alive. This means you are constantly mashing keys aimlessly to keep up with the overwhelming gameplay.

The second and quite possibly the biggest annoyance is the light system. Basically if you approach any light, your screen will blur out and you will lose literally all of your abilities (including the ability to eat hearts) for as long as you are in it. This gets even more frustrating when they throw in enemies which have torches to completely disable you. The worst part of this is that to kill them effectively you have to shoot out the tiny little torch in their hands, this can be rather irritating when you’re in the middle of a huge gunfight as you need pin point accuracy to do it.

The light! the liiight!!!

The light… the liiight!!!

The biggest problem with it though is that it breaks up the gameplay. It makes it so that nearly every 2 steps there is a light illuminating the path and it’s very difficult to tell what is light and what isn’t. Some lights can only be destroyed by destroying generators, some lights can’t even be destroyed at all. The worst part is trying to locate all of the lights as they can sometimes be in very hard to find places and of course not all of them can be destroyed anyways which is extremely frustrating since you are constantly searching for them, even in the middle of battle.

I mean sure, I do get the gist of the whole “light” idea, it fits the concept perfectly but it isn’t executed all that well in the gameplay. A lot of the times you will find the game to be a bit too overwhelming for these reasons. Jackie’s slow movement speed makes dodging bullets a pain and it usually comes down to an “act before you think” scenario, similar to Leningrad in Painkiller, the only difference being that whereas Painkiller’s gameplay is very fast paced and fluid, The Darkness II’s gameplay feels very sluggish. and this can often make the game very frustrating.

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However these flaws are still outweighed by the game’s strengths and I do think The Darkness II was an enjoyable romp for the most part. The darkling sections were a nice change of pace as they favored a more stealthy approach which I personally think that this game befit better to be honest and the game’s variety makes it really fun. if you consider yourself to be a fan of games Like Shadows Of The Damned, I’d give this a try as it has a very similar style going for it. Though the game may be sluggish and frustrating at times it manages to keep the player engaged through its variety, if you can get past its annoyances, you will probably enjoy The Darkness II’s gameplay a lot.

All in all, The Darkness II is an enjoyable romp that will last you for about 4-5 hours, its short length may be off-putting but if you can pick it up for under £5.00 it’s definitely worth a punt. I personally wouldn’t spend any more than £20.00 on this though due to its short length bit I do think you will find some enjoyment out of this.


Story/Plot: Satisfactory
Visuals: Good
Music: Forgettable
Gameplay: Satisfactory
Lifespan: Too Short
Would You Replay? No

Overall: Satisfactory

Value: £10.00

Purchase The Darkness II (PS3)