Painkiller Black – Every Level Ranked From Worst To Best

It goes without saying that Painkiller is my religion as I preach about it whenever I get the opportunity to do so and right now, I feel like preaching about Painkiller but I’ve already done an entire let’s play of the game as well as a review. So this time I will be ranking each and every level in the greatest first person shooter ever made from worst to best so that I can share with you my personal favorite levels in Painkiller. Now of course this list will include all of the levels in Battle Out Of Hell as well, so be sure to look forward to seeing those levels show up in the rankings. So without further ado, let’s begin.

35. People Can Fly HQ

Ok so this isn’t much of a level, rather a bonus developer’s room for beating Battle Out Of Hell on Trauma, there’s nothing exactly bad about it, it’s just that there’s barely any enemies to kill and they don’t even hurt you, the whole level is basically platforming to collect the souls of all the developers so there isn’t much to it really, though it should at least get mentioned.

34. Shadowland

Quite frankly, the final boss of Painkiller Battle Out Of Hell is terrible and is the worst part of Painkiller Black. Unlike in the original Painkiller where the Alastor fight was fantastic, King Alastor on the other hand is not. The fight lacks the spectacle that the original Alastor fight had. Now all you really have is a copy/paste of the original fight’s final phase but with a catch, you can’t actually damage him directly, instead you have to go through a really obtuse sequence, requiring you to take damage within one of the circles of the level, making a no hit run literally impossible for this fight, only then will a golem show up which may or may not make King Alastor vulnerable to damage, it’s purely luck based which is really annoying. Hands down the worst proper level in Painkiller Black for this reason alone

33. Pentagon

Remember the giant spider demon that appeared right at the end of Lab that you just killed? Well now you have to fight another one in what may quite possibly be the most boring level in the entire series, no joke, it’s just a small arena with containers littered around and some cannons, that’s it. At least Shadowland had an interesting aesthetic with all the ruined buildings, Pentagon is just kinda bland. While the boss may not be as terrible as Shadowland’s boss, it’s still one of the worst bosses due to the fact that part way through the fight, the boss gains a shield and you have to use one of the cannons around the level to break his shield. The game doesn’t tell you this of course and the cannon’s don’t always point towards the boss, so it can be a pain to find the correct cannon to lower the shield. To make matters worse, the boss launches homing projectiles which I can’t for the life of me figure out how to properly avoid besides using the containers as cover, to the point that doing a no damage run means you have to stay far back and shoot between the containers or you are guarenteed to get hit. Definitely not one of the game’s highlights if you ask me.

32. Swamp

So now we have our first level from the original Painkiller. Now this is nowhere near as bad as the other two boss fights in Battle Out Of Hell but it can still be really annoying, particularly on trauma. Basically you’re fighting a huge blob that walks around the outskirts of a swamp, you can’t shoot him directly of course, that would be too easy, instead you have to shoot the bubbles next to it to both damage him and eventually make him vulnerable but you only have a brief moment to hurt him before he turns back. When he reverts back to his invulnerable form, the strategy for the fight changes on the fly, now you have to shoot the bubbles in the air when they are near him, which makes him vulnerable again but to spawn these bubbles, you have to shoot the bubbless on the outskirts first, pretty obtuse for a boss fight in a game that’s all about mindless shooting if you ask me. Should you manage to figure all of this out, you will still need to deal with the nigh unavoidable attacks this boss throws at you. It will shoot a white orb that instantly kills you on trauma and tentacles that can kill you in 2 hits on trauma, requiring you to bunnyhop in a circular motion around the outside of the island to avoid them. It’s definitely one of the more frustrating bosses for sure.

31. Ruins

Ok so this boss is a little better since you can actually deal direct damage to his hammer right from the get go, though unless you actually aim for the hammer itself, you may not know this. The level is actually pretty cool, putting the havok physics to good use, trouble is that you can often get trapped in the debris which can be annoying to deal with. Not a bad boss but certainly not a brilliant one, once the hammer is destroyed you can simply shoot him directly and win, not much to it really, all you have to watch out for is the tremor every time he hits the ground with his hammer, since you can only avoid it by being airborne, though you can usually avoid this by bunnyhopping.

30. Enclave

One of the better bosses for sure, Necrogiant is the first boss the player encounters and it’s certainly an intimidating boss. It has quite a few moves at its disposal and has two phases. There’s plenty of ammo to be found around the huge level and there are also additional enemy spawns that show up part way, though they don’t drop any souls. Best of all, you can actually damage this boss directly at the very start so it isn’t obtuse like the rest. Only reason why this is so low on the list is because it’s a boss level and bosses aren’t really Painkiller’s strong point.

29. Tower

Arguably my favorite boss in the entire series. Alastor begins the fight completely hidden from view. As players grab the ammo, they can hear his screams in the background, eventually Alastor will suddenly emerge when the player least expects him to and flies across the tower where players can shoot him. He likes to sneak up on players and breathe fire next to the tower as well. Once his health drops, the fight isn’t over, Alastor smashes the floor beneath him for two additional phases where you fight him on the ground only for one final phase where he is at the very bottom of the tower, surrounded by pillars which he will drain energy from to heal himself. While he is draining, the statues can be destroyed by any weapon, allowing you to deny him of his healing, which lets you deal the finishing blow on him. I really like the build up of this fight, it truly is a spectacle, though the fall damage definitely lets this boss fight down as if you’re playing on trauma, it is impossible to survive all of the falls unless you land on the archways and pillars below, hence the reason why this level is so low on the list.

28. Atrium Complex

Atrium Complex is the first non-boss or developer’s room level to be mentioned on this list and it certainly isn’t a bad level by any means. Pretty much every level on this list from this point onwards is a great level, I just find Atrium Complex to be the least interesting thematically speaking. The level itself has a lot of destructible explosives to make combat more fun and chaotic, plus it still has that gothic aesthetic you come to expect from the Painkiller series, the level isn’t too long either. Definitely a great level for sure.

27. Forest

Now this level is only available to players that are playing on the Trauma difficulty and is without a doubt one of the game’s tougher levels. The atmosphere of this level is great, I really love the ruined archways with all the vegetation growing around them, the ambient music is great too when you’re not fighting, definitely one of the more underappreciated songs in the game. The battle music is great too of course, there’s tonnes of enemies too. The only annoying thing about this level is those damn witches, which are a pain to kill since they fly across the arenas at insane speeds. That and the fact that the level itself is very short, consisting of only 2 large arenas and one tiny corridor linking between them, hence why it’s so low on the list.

26. Underworld

Now there are two mineshaft stages in Battle Out Of Hell and Underworld is arguably the worst of the two as most of it is completely on rails with a really annoying tarot card condition, requiring you kill every single enemy in the level, including all the enemies that show up during the minecart ride which annoyed the hell out of me. The reward was worth it though, giving you a card which gives you 666 ammunition for every single weapon at the start of a level. Thing is though, I just found Underworld to be the less interesting of the mineshaft levels personally as it doesn’t really feel as iconic as its counterpart, Stone Pit, making it a somewhat forgettable level, I suppose you have the second half of the level which takes place in an underground tomb as well as tonnes of secrets to find for those who backtrack through the minecart sections of the level, which is cool and all, I just think that Stone Pit does a better job, which is why this level is so low on the list, that and that irritating tarot card condition.

25. Castle

The interesting thing about this level is how realistic the castle itself is, which is likely due to the fact that the castle itself is actually based on the real life Będzin Castle in Poland if it was coated in snow. The building itself looks dilapidated and run down, with lots of walls smashed inside, there’s also a few huts on the outskirts for storage and another, larger shack outside the central walls. The coolest part is the basement area which features both prison cells and a torture chamber, no oubliette’s though which I found to be quite weird but considering the fact that it was based on a real life castle, it’s possible that said castle did not have an oubliette. Fortunately, the Haunted Valley level in Painkiller overdose features all of the things that this level was lacking in, featuring a more traditional fantasy castle as opposed to a realistic one. Personally I’m more into the fantasy style of castle so I wasn’t really as big into this more realistic style Castle as I was with the Haunted Valley castle but I appreciated this level nonetheless.

24. Snowy Bridge

Yet another snow level and I don’t want to seem as if I dislike snow levels by putting them both on the lower side of the list. I actually like this level a lot and really liked the atmosphere of these alpine mountains which can actually be explored should you manage to get out of the level by accident, which I did. There’s both a brief cart ride and a cable car ride but you don’t need to take either of them if you don’t want to. I just thought it was cool to see these features. The only annoying thing about this level is the slippery ice and if you do take the cart ride, you’re likely to be hit by explosives making it a bad idea to use it. The cable car is also pretty hard to stay still on, so I found it easier to just walk on the cable itself. Certainly not a bad level but it’s not really the most noteworthy one either.

23. Stone Pit

So here we have the other mineshaft level and the moment you enter the second area, if you look up, you will see that you are at the bottom of a huge chasm. Unlike all the other levels in the game, this one has you climbing vertically up the shaft, using both ladders and elevators to navigate through it. The tarot card for this level requires you to find all the secrets and it’s quite fun to hunt them all down as many of the secrets are in caves that you can’t easily reach without a bit of tightrope walking. Trouble is that if you fall, it’s a one way ticket to the game over screen so if you’re afraid of heights, this level might not be the one for you. I just really enjoyed the concept of climbing to the top only to finally see sunlight at the end, for a penultimate level, I found this to be pretty cool, the battle music here is pretty awesome too.

22. Prison

This level is only available for people who play on either nightmare or trauma and takes place inside a more modern prison than the one in the basement of Castle. This level has a great mixture of destructible explosives, tight rooms and open areas, making it a pretty fun level to play through. It’s far from being an easy one though. Players ballsy enough to pick Nightmare difficulty are treated to a huge difficulty spike, featuring enemies with automatic chainguns and tommy guns which can be extremely deadly if they get the chance to hit you. The trick to overcomming this level is its design itself, with it being mostly tight, you can kill most enemies with the shotgun quicker then they can fire a single bullet and you really should since these guys really hurt. It’s all about using the level itself to your advantage to keep all the demonic inmates from escaping their confines and sending them straight to hell, courtesy of a giant sharpened piece of wood being shoved into their demonic ballsacks.

21. Train Station

The Train Station in Zurich is cursed, if you ever arrive there by train, please tell me if you see any world war one skeleton soldiers with bayonets because they are all over this level. Weirdly enough, this level starts off inside of a sewer, with enemies just waiting to be stuck to the wall with your stakegun. Sado and Maso commandos make their debut here and they both have devastating weapons, though the start of this level is more closed in making it easy enough to take them out with the shotgun. Sadly all this changes once you reach the actual station itself where you are finally given the most powerful weapon in the game, the rocket launcher chaingun and suddenly a huge army of world war one skeletons will charge at you, you know what to do, put those rockets to good use and make swiss cheese out of their pathetic corpses. The level gets harder once you reach the interior sections of the station as it is very open and filled to the brim with enemies that fire automatic weapons, definitely a challenging level for sure and the tarot card condition is one of the hardest, requiring you to never pick up a single soul. Quite frankly if you’re playing the black edition of this game, it’s probably recommended to get this tarot card on Trauma difficulty because otherwise it will be a pain in the neck to get. Why all these soliders entered the Swiss capital is unknown, maybe it’s the irony of Switzerland being completely neutral during the war, who knows?

20. Military Base

Now it wouldn’t be a first person shooter if there wasn’t a military themed stage now would it? Tanks make their debut here which is great since wooden stakes make short work of them. I don’t know how a sharpened piece of wood can blow up an armored tank but who am I to question Painkiller’s logic. I can’t help but love this fact though as it just goes to show how little of a fuck Painkiller’s developers give about realism and that can only be a good thing. Throughout the whole level you will hear some weird comm chatter and there’s even a communist flying saucer hidden inside one of the hangars. It’s a huge level too with lots of open space to move around in but it also features some tighter interior sections to mix things up too. There’s certainly some fun to be had here.

19. Lab

The tarot card condition is the best part of this level as it requires you to only use the bolt gun to get kills and considering the fact that the bolt gun is my favorite weapon in Painkiller Black, this is hardly a problem. What is though are the lab commandos that snipe you with hitscan shots from above but you are able to snipe them with ease thanks to the boltgun’s scope which you’ll almost never use since sniping is barely ever required in a fast paced shooter like Painkiller. The coolest part about this level is the techno music that plays during battle, which is pretty damn awesome, there’s also big breasted nurses that try to inject you with something nasty which you have to kill as well as doctors who breathe this weird gas at you. Plus the lab commandos appear to be wearing the EVA helmet from the Halo series… oh wait it’s a fishbowl, my bad, I get them confused all the time. I love the quirky enemies of this level and the area with the portal is pretty cool with all the enemy spawns, making for a great place to unleash the demon morph which thankfully doesn’t cause you to fail the tarot card condition. Right after that though you have to flee from a bunch of demonic piranhas only to encounter your first panzer demon before the level ends. What a level.

18. Colosseum

Colosseum is the ultimate breather level, it kind of reminds me of Blackrock Depths in World Of Warcraft with its atmosphere, maybe it’s because Blackrock Depths was heavily inspired by the roman colosseum? who knows? The interesting thing about this level is that it’s actually spelt incorrectly, that and there are booby traps in certain areas which would have cost it some points if bunnyhopping didn’t avoid most of them. If you are a fan of navigating obstacle courses in games then you’ll enjoy what this level brings to the table. It’s a pretty long one with lots of weak enemies to kill and really doesn’t pose much of a threat, especially when compared to the level before it which is the toughest level in the entire game. I really love the dreary atmosphere throughout this level, showing the darker side to what was a fun, family friendly show for the roman aristocrats to watch back in the day. It’s one of those levels that let you experiment with all of your weapons and just have some mindless fun, which can never be a bad thing.

17. Catacombs

Ok so the only things holding this level back from being higher on this list are the colour scheme and the last enemy of the level which is best described as a puzzle boss which can be killed by conventional means but it takes ages. Other than that I really enjoyed this level a lot, the structure of the level is nice and varied. It has a good mix of open areas and tight areas. The enemies are a mix between melee, ranged and explosive enemies so there’s a good mixture of foes to deal with and they all come together in the final section to make for a pretty tough, yet manageable encounter early on. The best part about this level though has to be the battle music, that guitar solo is absolutely fantastic.

16. Cemetary

The first level of Painkiller is a great way to start things off, I absolutely adore the eerie ambiance and the lighting is incredible, It blends in so well with the fog. It’s a very steady, easy going level for the most part where you are dealing with mostly melee enemies, easing you into the game but also teaching the importance of movement. There’s some nice secrets here too. I particularly love the building at the end with all of the hanging corpses, it really sets the tone for what’s to come. The battle music is also fantastic as well, really gets you pumped to start slaughtering demons.

15. Old Monestary

The penultimate level of the original Painkiller is an odd one. Unlike previous levels, there is no real set path here as it is open-ended. Instead it is a collectathon where you have to collect all of the pentagrams and you can collect them in any order you want. I simply adore the ambient music in this area, it kinda reminds me of Metroid Prime a little. It really gives you that feeling of “the journey is finally over” and kinda acts as the calm before the storm so-to speak as you make your way to the bowels of hell itself. There’s a nice variety of enemies here with a few tricks up their sleeves, some pretty interesting level design too with the whole island being filled with caves and fissures to navigate through, with the ruined monastery on top. It’s definitely a memorable level for sure.

14. Cathedral

This level is simply incredible. I absolutely love the sense of scale this level has, it truly is an incredible cathedral with lots of huge, open areas to fight in and the atmosphere is top notch. I particularly like the ambient music, it’s so hauntingly serene that I can’t get enough of it, it’s levels like this that make me want to take my fingers off the keyboard and mouse for a few minutes, just to take in all the incredible atmosphere, and they said Painkiller was just a dumb shooter, hell no, Painkiller is a work of art and this level showcases both the artistic merits as well as the strong level design of this game so damn well.

13. Docks

Without a doubt one of the game’s tougher levels, though thankfully you don’t have to play through it on Trauma difficulty because if you did, this would probably be the hardest level in the original Painkiller. The nail guns wielded by the hell bikers are devastating if you are unlucky to be hit by one of them but that’s before we even start talking about the rocket wielding hell angels which are even more devastating. Regardless, this level has a rather interesting structure, as you find yourself maneuvering through all kinds of industrial areas, using cranes to traverse between each location. There are a crap ton of secrets to find in this level, so much so that it would take ages to find them all and if you want to do so, you better be good at platforming because you will often have to hop from crane to crane to get to them at the risk of falling to your death. There’s just so much to like about this level but at the same time it can get pretty difficult.

12. Dead City

This level is absolute chaos from beginning to end. So many explosions, so many enemies, large panzer spiders show up to greet you that can take quite a beating, bombs on cars and under tables. This level is literally a nightmare and that’s precisely why I love it. It just about sums up what Painkiller is all about. In a way it sort of reminds me of something out of Hunter The Reckoning with all the hordes of zombies charging at you in an urban landscape, only much more chaotic by comparison. There are quite a few things to see here, ranging from a shopping mall, a car park and a museum. The only thing stopping this level from being higher on the list is the fact that the tarot card requires you to finish it in under 20 minutes which may not sound that bad at first but if you take into account the fact that there are tonnes of enemy waves and that panzer spiders have a lot of health, it’s going to take a while to get through it, so you kinda have to rush through this level in order to get the tarot card which is highly recommended as the tarot card you get is one of the best.

11. Hell

Of course I had to put Hell somewhere on the top of this list because this level may quite possibly be the greatest depiction of hell in any videogame ever. This would be on my top 10 if it wasn’t for the shitty final boss fight because it’s such a fantastic concept for a final level. When most people think of hell, they think of fire and brimstone but in this level, there isn’t really much of that, instead you find yourself in what might as well be a war museum because that’s basically what hell is in this game, it’s a depiction of all of humanities disasters frozen in time and mixed together into one gigantic catastrophe. There’s so much to take in as you roam through this level, ranging from crusaders besieging walls, world war one trenches, plane wreckages, ruined buildings, a sinking battleship and overlooking all of the carnage is a colossal mushroom cloud from a detonated atomic bomb, one of which can be seen lodged into the ground. Throughout the level you’ll hear screams from all the victims of these terrifying tragedies, swords clashing, soldiers panicking through the radio, demonic chants and people screaming for their lives as they try to escape a sinking ship. This level truly deserves its name and is truly a masterpiece, illustrating that no fictional hell could possibly match the terrors brought about by mankind.

10. City On Water

Venice has clearly seen better days, loads of hell angels and hell bikers have taken over the city. There is lots to see in this level and the design of it all is simply gorgeous. There’s loads of secrets to find here and you’ll need to find all of them to get the Tarot Card. You’ll have quite a lot of platforming to do if you want to get them all. There are many famous landmarks featured in this level, my favorite being the basilica of saint mark. I love shooting enemies off the edge and watching them fall into the water, it never gets old. I really love how interconnected this level is, it’s one of the things I always loved about Painkiller’s level design in general and it is at its best in this level.

9. Leningrad

If the final level of Painkiller is Hell, then this level might as well be its sequel, just a few footsteps and suddenly, the soviet national anthem starts playing as an army of russian soldiers, tanks and air strikes are ready to greet you. All the odds truly are stacked against you in this level, heck I’d even go as far as to argue that this level isn’t even fair as all of the soldiers have hitscan weapons that can deal insane amounts of damage per hit without armor. Despite having the urge to just charge in and mow down communists, it’s recommended that you keep your distance and pick them off from afar to avoid getting swarmed. This is without a doubt the toughest level in Painkiller Black by a mile and if you manage to make it to the second half of the levels you encounter suicide bombers who charge at you with c4 attached to their chest, eager to take you on a one way ticket to hell. Everything in this level wants you dead and the level spares nothing to make that happen. While it can certainly feel very frustrating to get through, it feels so satisfying when you finally finish it as you have essentially defeated both the russians and the germans simultaneously by yourself. It really emphasizes just how powerful Daniel Garner has become, showing that he is practically a one man army at this point. Easily one of the most memorable levels in the game for sure.

8. Orphanage

One of the most unsettling levels I have ever witnessed in a first person shooter. The atmosphere in this level sends chills down your spine. The fog, the swamp, it all sets the tone for what’s to come. Your enemies in this level are none other than the orphanage’s former victims, children who have become possessed by demons that set themselves on fire and chase after you, either that or they will try to shank you to death with knives. If you think that’s bad, eventually you will encounter bag babies who were placed into sacks to be used as fresh meat for the Preacher to be butchered. Those that have been stored for years have finally awoken and will detonate whenever they close in on you, intent on killing you. Then finally you have the Preacher himself, the first of many to appear in Battle Out Of Hell who chases you down with a huge meat cleaver, looking for another meal. To make matters worse, the preacher is invincible until every child has been slaughtered. So the only way to stop the preacher is to kill every single child in the entire level. Yeah you heard me, you’re going to kill children and lots of them. Have fun with that. This level is so twisted and sadistic it’s insane how they made it the very first level of Battle Out Of Hell, talk about making one hell of a first impression, for better or worse.

7. The Palace

This level has a ton of open areas and there are tonnes of enemy waves to fight. It’s one of the few levels where I got to use the electrodriver a lot due to the fact that there’s a crap ton of ammo crates lying around, containing lightning ammo as well as plenty of ammo for other weapons too. It’s one of those levels where you can just have fun shooting enemies with whatever weapons you choose, with minimal repercussions since ammo is so plentiful and the arena is so open, you are free to experiment. The level structure is interesting too, there’s a lava fountain that shoots molten rock out at random which can potentially hurt you if you get hit by it, there are also destructible pillars and some statues that shoot projectiles at you which can be destroyed. The enemies offer a reasonable challenge with the introduction of templars who can shoot you from afar and protect themselves with shields but it doesn’t feel too overwhelming, it mostly feels like a laid back massacre. The music for this stage is fantastic both in and out of battle, you have the arabic soundtrack outside of battle which perfectly matches the arabic aesthetic of the palace. I really love the aesthetic design of this level and how grandiose it is, the size and scale of the arenas only serve to make the level aesthetic all the more spectacular. The best part is the battle music which is noticably more laid back than the other battle tracks, it’s the sort of music that you’d listen to when you’re cruising on the highway in the middle of the night.

6. Asylum

Yet another unsettling level, though this time you’re not fighting children, instead you are fighting against brain damaged amputees as well as freaks. I really love the horrifying atmosphere brought about by this level, after playing through more hectic stages like Prison, Asylum is a harsh contrast as it feels considerably more tense. While you may not be dealing with chainguns or tommyguns, the claustrophobic level design brings about an entirely new challenge as you will encounter melee enemies that are kind of tricky to deal with as they can leap at you from off screen at any moment so you really need to keep your eyes peeled and be aware of your surroundings. These enemies like to feign death, only to leap at you when you least expect it. The design of these enemies is gruesome and considering the context of the game’s level, it’s kind of tragic to see them in action. These Amputees are not only brain damaged but they are missing limbs too and considering the blood on the walls, it’s possible that they were mistreated, having their limbs torn off by the abusive Asylum staff. Later on they can be found crawling on the ceiling which is even more disturbing. To top it off, these foes are accompanied with freaks in straight jackets, struggling to escape their shackles, some of these freaks are still undergoing Electroconvulsive therapy even after death and if they get too close to their victims, their heads will explode. These enemies love to hide behind corners just waiting for you to walk through so they can explode in your face for a nasty surprise. One of them is headbutting the door blocking the entrance to the building, clearly wanting to escape the horrors that were brought about in this terrifying level. Truly one of the greatest levels in a first person shooter to date.

5. Opera House

One of the more vibrant stages in Painkiller, the Opera House is without a doubt a visual spectacle with all the red carpets and artwork on the staircases, there’s a lot to see here. The level starts in the middle of an alleyway with several dumpsters, there are no enemies here but there is a secret area over the fence. I don’t know why but I have always liked this area as it feels both foreboding and calming. I don’t know why but an urban landscape in the middle of the night with no people around is kinda relaxing to me. You slowly enter the Opera House from behind the set, there’s a lot to see before actually reaching the main hall but when you do, it looks absolutely sublime. I love the colossal chandelier on the ceiling as not only does it look impressive but you can shoot it down for a massive white explosion. The ambient sound is accompanied with echoing voices, likely representing the crowds of people that would be watching the opera as well as high pitched screams from what could be an opera singer, to top it all off, the entire opera house has been invaded by Ninjas, yes you heard that right, Ninjas. I mean it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever but that’s the point. You’d think you would be fighting ghostly actors or something but nope, that would be too predictable, let’s just throw in Ninjas and Samurai into the level because why the fuck not? It’s so absurd that I can’t help but love it. I mean I’m not sure where the connection is but who cares, it just gives me something to shoot and we all know that everything is better with Ninjas.

4. Factory

This is without a doubt the most definitive level in Painkiller, at least in regards to gameplay. While it doesn’t exactly have the gothic atmosphere, there is still a feeling of unease brought about by the ambient music. The biggest highlight of this level has to be the metal music that plays in every single fight. This is my favorite battle song in the original Painkiller by far, it really gets you pumped up for some carnage. There are tonnes of enemies in this level, many of which come armed with long ranged weapons so you have to be constantly on the move, shooting whenever you get the chance. This level is fast paced, frantic and extremely cathartic. Many of the arenas are open and there are countless waves of enemies to deal with in each one, just waiting to be blown to pieces by rockets. If you’re looking for some action packed mayhem, this is definitely the level you want to be playing.

3. Town

This is another level that reminds me of a dungeon in World Of Warcraft. If you’ve played Warcraft 3 then you probably remember the mission titled The Culling where Arthas had to purge the plagued city of Stratholme. In World Of Warcraft, this location becomes a dungeon, showcasing the aftermath of Arthas’ onslaught and this level just happens to be strikingly similar to it. It appears however that this level has more to do with the black plague as the buildings have crosses on the doors. I absolutely adore this level’s aesthetic, not only am I a fan of medieval style buildings but the atmosphere as a whole is top notch, with some fantastic lighting and sound to accompany all of the burning buildings. It appears that the local townsfolk aren’t particularly keen on outsiders so needless to say you can expect a warm welcome in the form of flaming torches and what I presume to be rotten flesh thrown at you. What I love most about this level is the final section, which has you going underground into what appears to be a secret hideout, possibly used by cultists, which leads me to believe that the whole plague might have been the result of a conspiracy, though there isn’t any concrete proof that it was. I just think it’s interesting how the level ends this way, almost as if it’s trying to tell us something. It’s subtle storytelling like this that makes me appreciate this level so much, that and the battle music which has a really good beat to it. Definitely one of my favorite battle tracks for sure. One of the best Painkiller levels ever.

2. Babel

Everything from the starry skybox, the serene ambient music and the gorgeous lighting makes this level an absolute joy to play through. It’s also very challenging featuring a large quantity of powerful foes, with plenty of open space to fight them in. It requires a bit more thinking than previous levels but there’s still a lot of action to be had. The battle music for this level is intense, as it should be because the enemies do not pull their punches here. You’ll be fighting advanced versions of the enemies you fought in the previous levels of chapter 4 and they all have a trick up their sleeve. The Templars fire three arrows as opposed to just one and each arrow is fired in a different direction which can be tricky to avoid. The Executioners now come with a grappling attack which can hit you from quite a distance so they should be dealt with quickly. Beasts are now fitted with explosives so you will want to kill them quickly before they close in on you. You will constantly be overwhelmed in this level but that’s part of the appeal. It always feels satisfying to conquer this level.

1. Loony Park

While it may not be the first depiction of a haunted amusement park, Loony Park is without a doubt the best. The orange lighting throughout the level gives off a demented tone that accompanies all of the grotesque depictions of its attractions perfectly. The very moment you start this level, you are greeted with a massive sign that says Loony Park with the too O’s in Loony being used as eyes for a clown face with fire coming out of his mouth. This sign is so striking that you can’t help but want to know what lies behind it but the moment players attempt to walk through the gate, they are greeted with a pit of spikes, talk about a warm welcome. Those who were smart enough to jump over the spike pit will be greeted with numerous attractions ranging from a helter skelter, two carosels, one with buzzsaws that slash away at anyone misfortunate enough to be riding it, the other with electric chairs for those who would rather die from electrocution instead. There are also two buildings, one is titled Acid Bath, the other titled, House of Pain. While the House Of Pain cannot be entered, the Acid Bath is actually a secret area and inside is, you guessed it, a pool of acid with jump pads to cross over, you better nail those jumps or you’re going get melted. Your reward for making it across is a set of gold armor and a super health, the downside is that you have to make it all the way back and unlike most visitor attractions, there aren’t any health and safety regulations here, that acid will hurt you if you step in it.

Tired from all of that jumping? Maybe you need a snack. The good news is that there’s plenty of popcorn to be found here, the bad news is that it isn’t the edible kind. The popcorn is actually a name of a demon which has a body that consists of many lumps that throws these weird red gas bombs at you and you really don’t want to get near them. There’s also a burger stand nearby but you might want to think twice about ordering one because as the name of the burger stand implies you will most definitely get sick if you eat one of those burgers. In addition to this, there’s a gigantic slide with a ball rolling down it that is likely meant for humans to be placed inside, though on the way down, there’s a flamethrower that will probably burn anyone inside to cinders as they pass by. This is such a colourful level for such a dark game and I really appreciate that change in tone, especially after the previous level. The whole level is so ridiculous and silly that it’s instantly appealing. The ambient music is the usual carnival sounds you’d hear at any carnival and the battle music is best described as a sequence of guitar riffs that I just cannot get enough of, it’s hardcore.

To top it all off, the final section of the level is a rollercoaster ride that has you riding on top of a ribcage with demonic heads attached as you ride through the whole amusement park behind the giant crevice in the ground. Beyond the fissure is a bumper coffin ride, a huge castle floating on top of a pit of flames and a ferris wheel with a pentagram shape in the middle. Now you would think at first that this area is off limits outside of the rollercoaster ride but it is actually possible to cross over the crevice with a well timed jump which clearly wasn’t intended as there are no secrets back there and the benches aren’t breakable, everything is static. Though there are a few cool things you can see including a few shooting galleries and stands. This is such an amazing level and is without a doubt my favorite level in a first person shooter ever. Heck this level is so damn good that it was re-used in Painkiller Overdose. It’s just so iconic that it’s the first thing that comes to mind whenever I think of Painkiller.

Mount & Blade II: Bannerlord Review

I played Mount & Blade II: Bannerlord for over 200 hours, 200 freaking hours and didn’t even get close to conquering Calradia. Meanwhile in Mount & Blade Warband, the first game in the series, it took me 200 hours to conquer Calradia and while it felt like a long, arduous journey, it is nothing compared to the tedious ordeal that is Mount & Blade II: Bannerlord. Now this might not make sense to you if you haven’t reached the end game of Bannerlord but I will say this. Warband’s end game is tough but fun, you feel overwhelmed, every faction declares war against you… but if you keep at it, eventually you will unify calradia as its emperor.

Bannerlord on the other hand is a completely different ball game, not just in the end game but in general. Despite this however, Bannerlord as an experience isn’t really anything new, you’re just playing Warband again but the way it works is completely different from that of Warband. The immersion and engagement factor from Warband is still there and you will sink a considerable amount of time into this game. Bannerlord will suck you in just like Warband did and you will quickly become addicted to the experience but unlike Warband, the immersion and engagement quickly begins to waver in the end game. The reason for this is due to the fact that Bannerlord is seemingly designed to keep you playing for as long as possible so that the game never fucking ends, while Warband is designed for the player to bring about an eventual unification by breaking the stalemate through their own ability.

Killing looters never gets old

Now there are two types of people who I need to address, those who played Warband and those who are new to Mount & Blade in general. While Bannerlord revolves the same kind of formula as Warband, the experience is completely different and whether you will prefer one over the other will depend on your preferance as a player. Much like in Warband, you will create your own character and give them a banner of your choosing, there are extensive facial options but body customization is minimal with a decent quantity of hair options available to you, as well as face paints. Defining statistics is where Bannerlord differentiates from Warband as it goes through numerous stages of your life where you select events that occured in your past to decide what stats you start with at the beginning. The main thing that sets Bannerlord apart from Warband is the emphasis on clans, which allow you to take ownership of multiple separate parties and the game is built around this. You see in Warband, you just had individual lords with their own band of warriors to command who follow their marshall into battle. In Bannerlord however, marshalls are nonexistant and just about anybody can set up an army at any time at the cost of a new currency called influence.

Influence can be used as a means of pushing agedas which can be handy for vassals looking to get their hands on feifs as well as being able to adjust laws to work in their favor, it sounds good on paper as it seemingly gives players more control over their experience. In reality however, it is quite the opposite, which you’ll quickly realize the moment you become a ruler as Influence governs every single decision you make, even when you are in charge of the whole faction. You can’t just tell people to do what you want for free anymore, now you need to spend influence to get people to do your bidding. The only difference between being a vassal and a ruler is that being a ruler means that there isn’t a cap on your influence expendature, so you can overule anything so long as you have enough influence to do so. If you have no influence however, you might as well not even be a ruler because you have absolutely no control over your faction whatsoever and the AI will make all the decisions for you which is extremely infuriating when you consider the fact that your AI allies are dumber than bricks.

Fuck off Urik!

Much like the influence system, the new clans feature is also deceptively appealing as unlike Warband where you were limited solely to the warriors you command, you now have tha ability to build your own clan consisting of multiple warbands which your companions can manage on your behalf. This is a cool idea in theory as you can have one party act on your behalf, allowing you to multitask… or so you think. You see there is absolutely no way of delegating anybody in this game and I mean anybody. You can only delegate your army and that means that you can only delegate in one place. Each army is completely independant and this includes your clan’s warbands. You cannot give them commands so you can’t really utilize them strategically. The only thing they exist to do is to supplement your army so that you don’t have to lead so many troops by yourself, essentially spreading the leadership to allow for a more managable army. Without an army, your clan’s warbands will spend the whole game travelling around doing menial tasks, often ending in their defeat at the hands of a stronger warband, therefore if you don’t add them to your army, they become completely pointless. You can also have them lead caravans but there’s little point in doing so because they’ll most likely die sooner than they actually turn a profit.

The most interesting aspect of clans however is the ability to marry a noble of the opposite sex and have children. If you’re into same sex relationships then I regret to inform you that they are not in Bannerlord, though it makes sense given that Bannerlord takes place in a time period where homosexuality was frowned upon. Regardless, the point of this is to create your own family tree, which sounds like a really cool idea. Now at first you would assume that you can just have tonnes of children and build up a massive army as the great great great grandparent of a huge family tree made up of countless generations of your descendants fighting alongside you but you’d be wrong, because the downside to having babies is that Bannerlord features an aging system and this completely changes the nature of the game entirely as you are now under extreme time constraints to accomplish your goals before death claims you. If you enjoy the grim reapers company, you can also opt to allow your character to die in battle at any time for an even more tense experience. Now the entire game was built with this system in mind but there is an option to prevent is through the birth and death options feature in the modules section prior to launching the game, which allows you to toggle this off when starting a new playthrough, allowing you to play the game more like Warband.

Rest in peace Torgath, you were a legend among men, you fought countless battles, you deserve your rest.

If you are new to Mount & Blade and have never played Warband before, I highly encourage that you disable the birth system as it changes up the game so much that it brings about a completely different experience from Warband and this is not necesarrily a good thing for newcommers as it makes the nature of the game considerably more frantic and convoluted to the point that first time players ill be overwhelmed and frustrated by it. Those who have played Warband before might take a liking to this new feature, but some players might not, it is all up to preferance. All I will say is that my personal experience with the birth and death feature was not at all great and this all ties to the fact that Bannerlord is an absolute slog to play through for numerous reasons, with battles going on for seemingly ages. This takes up so much time that eventually your character is going to die and when they do, you better hope and pray that you are not in the end game because if you are, you are going to a place that is far more terrifying than hell, you are going to a world of pain, agony and torment that is unending, a world that makes purgatory in Painkiller look like fucking paradise.

You see, the biggest problem with Bannerlord is the skill system because the skill system in Bannerlord is fucking dogshit. Who’s idea was it to turn this game into fucking Runescape!? I hate Runescape and the reason why I hate Runescape besides the fact that it is an always online MMO with microtransactions on top of having subscription fees is the endless fucking grind that you have to do to level up each individual skill and Bannerlord uses the exact same skill leveling system as Runescape but with a twist, unlike Runescape you can actually choose between two perks instead of just unlocking stuff in a linear fashion and these perks range from being extremely useful to barely useful outside of very specific situations that makes you feel as if growing your character feels completely pointless.

Shields are for pussies

In fact, leveling up in Bannerlord doesn’t feel exciting at all like it did in Warband. Leveling up in Bannerlord is lame as all you get is a focus point that increases the rate in which players level up their skills, sort of like the bonus experience you get for runescape skills and this is absolute bullshit. You aren’t even guaranteed to get an attribute point either and if you do, all it does is give you the exact same thing as a focus point but for all the skills that said attribute governs, essentially removing the cap on bonus experience you can gain to make leveling the skill faster. To add insult to injury, when your character dies and you choose an heir, you have to do the whole fucking grind all over again!

So because of the nature of the game’s skill system, this permadeath timer really doesn’t work well with Bannerlord at all but it’s not just the skill system that makes the permadeath timer a problem as the game has yet another problem and that is the campaign. What I mean by “campaign” is the out of battle strategy sections that play out in synchronized time, which has always been catagorized as “campaign” in both Warband and Bannerlord. The campaign in Bannerlord is an absolute pain in the ass to deal with because there is no balance whatsoever. The biggest problem with the campaign balancing is the map itself. In Warband, every faction controls an edge of the map but in Bannerlord there are factions right in the middle of the map that are surrounded at all sides.

All my territories are the ones in dark blue, the rest are my enemy’s

The distance to travel between each faction was more or less the same in Warband, where as in Bannerlord, travelling from north to south takes considerably less time than it takes to travel from east to west. This means that factions on the far east and west of the map have a considerable advantage whereas factions in the middle of the map are going to be at a huge disadvantage. Sturgia in particular is at an insane disadvantage due to having their terrotories spread out horizontally meaning that if somebody attacks from the east and you’re on the west side, you have to mobilize for ages to defend the castle or town that is being attacked. Now the Aserai also have this problem but they have the advantage of having a giant body of water blocking the middle section of their territory, with the only entry points being at the far east and the far west. Sturgia have the misfortune of having their middle portion accessible from the south, making things even worse for them.

Vlandia on the other hand are basically easy mode because their nation is safely protected by mountains and is in the far west side of the map and the only entry points are from the east. With travel from north to south not taking too long, it is very easy to defend this territory from all sides. Khuzaits also have an advantage in this regard due to being on the far east but to a lesser degree due to being accessible from the north and south as well as the west. It’s very difficult to penetrate Vlandia’s territory for this reason because by doing so, you are putting yourself into a dangerous position as there aren’t many escape points due to the mountains surrounding you, so if you go in too deep you can quickly be surrounded and trapped in there. The Western Empire on the other hand is completely unprotected at all sides, making it easy to get away from them and making it easier for invaders to reach their lands.

Those fucking ugly red bastards will pay!

So if you are planning on taking over Calradia, it is usually a good idea to claim either the east or the west side of the map first, which means eliminating either the Khuzaits or the Vlandians immediately, only then will you have a good enough foothold to begin pushing in the opposite direction of the map so that you can easily control your borders. The problem is that by the time you have defeated either Vlandia or the Khuzaits, your character will be so old that you really need to start worrying about them dying in the near future, I kid you not. To make matters worse, you will become too old to actually bring about an offspring which means that you will have to start the entire game all over again. So the game essentially pressurizes you to get married and have kids early in life, something that was optional in Warband is now practically compulsory in Bannerlord if you turn on permadeath as being a 40 year old virgin is a one way ticket to having to start a new playthrough, as if the pressure of males losing their virginity in their early years wasn’t bad enough in real life.

On top of this, unlike Warband where factions would disappear over time after losing all of their feifs, factions in Bannerlord will linger around until they are completely obliterated and by that I mean grinding their armies down to a pulp to the point that they simply cannot affort to purchase units anymore, which is easier said than done. So all it takes is for either you or another faction they are at war with to take a castle and leave it undefended and these factions send their army of 30 men to siege your castle to get back in the game, only for them to become a nuisance once again and believe me, when they get back in the game, they come back with massive armies for you to tear down all over again. So if you think you’ve pulverized a faction by taking all of their castles and towns, think again. This only serves to make conquering calradia all the more annoying as they become a huge nuisance to you, that and it also means that it’s going to take even longer to conquer the whole map due to the game wasting your time by having these fallen factions constantly pestering you by raiding your villages and seiging undefended castles just because they can.

Come at me Vlandian scum!

To make matters worse, making peace with other factions is also problematic as there no guarantee that peace will last long enough for it to be worthwhile. If anything, peace only screws you more as you free up all the enemy faction’s prisoners and make peace with them for a brief moment only for them to declare war on you again soon after. Because of this. during the end game where every single faction will declare war with you at once, you will find yourself in a seemingly endless gauntlet of battles at all sides where even the weakest of factions can sneakily steal one of your unprotected feifs from under your nose while you’re fighting a 5 way war where one faction is completely steamrolling you, while another faction is getting beaten by you. With all this in mind, do you honestly believe you’ll be able to conquer calradia with your created character before they die?

Now you’re probably wondering what exactly happens when you die, well that depends on a few things. First of all you have to choose an heir, now if the heir is in your party at the time, they will keep all of your troops for themselves, if they are not, all your troops are lost. This can be pretty damn annoying when this happens out of nowhere and your desired heir is half way across the map. Not that it matters because chances are that your heir won’t have a high enough leadership skill to command all of your troops anyway so they’ll probably end up deserting in seconds. This is the biggest problem with the birth and death system as lacking in skills during the end game is a disaster waiting to happen as the enemy AI will zerg the shit out of you with massive armies constantly from all sides so if you cannot command troops then you are fucked. Now if you’re considering starting up an army to fight back, you’ll be faced with conhesion issues as well as an insanely high influence cost to maintain said cohesion, which in turn leads to you getting even more screwed over.

Shit…

To make matters worse, your AI lords will constantly be pushing you to make peace with a faction even though making peace will inevitably screw you as you would be freeing the enemy’s prisoners, only for them to declare war with you 2 minutes later with their forces completely restored, only for them to quickly swarm the castles and towns you took, taking them back in a matter of seconds before you can even hope to mobilize against them, then they will proceed to anally invade your territories further, all while you’re fighting a battle on the other side of the map. The only way to prevent peace is by spending an absurd amount of influence to prevent your allies from letting something stupid happen. Also god forbid the enemy lords escape from captivity because if they do, they will regain their armies almost immediately and form an even bigger zerg to screw you over.

Now sure, there is the option of beheading every single lord in the game but there’s a penalty for that as you will lose a crap ton of relation with a lot of people, including your own allies, so it’s clearly not something that you’re supposed to do in the game but it sure as hell makes the game go by so much faster if you can pull it off at the right time and if you’re going to do it, you might as well go all the way and kill every lord you come across. All of this wouldn’t have been an issue if the peace system actually worked properly and enemy factions that lose all their castles and towns disappear from the game. This isn’t the case though so you’re going to have a really rough time if you don’t decide to behead anybody, making playing an honorable character an absolute pain in the ass, proving that Machiavelli’s theory on good people making terrible leaders was right.

So as you can see, most of what I’ve brought up so far has been relevant to the end game but not so much the early game because the early game in Bannerlord actually isn’t all that bad. In fact it’s actually rather fun. Of course it’s not too much different from Warband as you are still playing a wandering mercenary fighting bandits and trading resources between towns but there are few other things to do in Bannerlord such as the ability to take over alleyways in towns and participate in gang wars, playing minigames in the tavern, on top of all the stuff brought over from Warband including quests and arena fights.

The one feature I was most excited for was the smithing feature that allows players to craft their own custom weaponary which I couldn’t wait to try out, until I found out that smithing was the most disappointing part of Bannerlord, not because the crafting system, rather the grind to reach a high enough level to make something remotely useful from the skill. You see, throughout the game you will find all kinds of powerful weapons dropped from enemies and these quickly make the items crafted through smithing obsolete in terms of stats. Now you do eventually learn a smithing perk that increases the effectiveness of crafted weapons to make them more viable to use in battle but to reach that point you’re going to have to do a crap ton of grinding because leveling up smithing doesn’t happen naturally like some skills as you have to spend countless hours sat in towns resting up to restore stamina so that you can keep smithing in one place and if you are a vassal or a king, particularly in the end game, you’re not going to find many opportunities to do this, therefore the only way to truly max out the smithing skill effectively is to make your created character into a full time blacksmith and max out the skill early on, which is surprisingly not all that difficult because the smithing skill in Bannerlord is broken, allowing you to make money with ease without having to do any fighting whatsoever. Who knew that smithing would be used for money making as opposed to actually crafting weapons for your character? For this reason, the skill is certainly not useless but in order to reach a point where smithing can be used to craft your own weapons, you’re going to spend hours doing monotonous grinds and god forbid your character dies before they craft their legendary sword.If you do decide to create your own weapon then you’ll be able to change the handle, pommel, the guard and the blade for swords and resize each part however you see fit. Some weapons have more parts than others which is something to be aware of, it’s pretty straightforward feature wise but there’s enough flexibility to make it interesting enough.

Swords are pretty cool

Now do you see why the permadeath system in Bannerlord is so problematic? If it wasn’t for the grinding and the nature of the campaign, the system might have been fun to deal with but because the game is such a pain in the ass to play to begin with in the end game, losing your character during the end game is the worst thing that can happen and this makes the game a chore to play as you have to start the grind all over again, as if the end game wasn’t aggravating enough. I think that if you disable the birth and death system in the game then you are going to have a lot less hassle to deal with in the long run and it makes the experience feel a little closer to that of Warband, allowing you all the time in the world to conquer Calradia. The thing is though, for the sake of this review, I didn’t turn it off and because of it, I failed to accomplish my goal. The beauty of Mount & Blade is that there really isn’t an end to the game, while the ultimate conclusion may be unification of Calradia, the game is designed for the player to stop playing at any time and after having experienced everything the game had to offer besides conquering the whole map, I decided to end my game with my character’s death because even though I can choose an heir to take their place, I knew that the game would be absolutely miserable to play that way. If it wasn’t for the horrendous end game and the awful skill system, I probably wouldn’t have minded playing as a new character but sadly this was not the case. My Bannerlord journey ended at the retreat, where I took my character’s son to the retreat so that he could retire and bring an end to the long, arduous and painful journey that was Bannerlord.

Now don’t get me wrong, Bannerlord isn’t a terrible game by any means. The fact that the game managed to bring about a similar experience to Warband makes it worthy of praise regardless of its many issues. It really is the next best thing as far as western RPG’s go as there is no game out there quite like Mount & Blade, it is unique and to see it return, even in this state is a dream come true. There’s a reason why I invested over 200 hours into this game after all and that reason is because it is still a Mount & Blade experience. One thing I do appreciate about Bannerlord is the aesthetics, something that Warband was lacking in. Towns are huge spawling mazes of streets to wander around in and castles actually feel like castles and not just a room inside the castle. The minigames were a nice addition as they are both simple, yet challenging. The music is also pretty decent, some of which even pays homage to Warband which was incredibly nostalgic.

Look at this awesome castle, I can’t believe this is my home!

One thing I wasn’t too keen on at first was the town management system but I felt that with the hunting rights law, managing towns became a lot less of a hassle as your people weren’t constantly starving, forcing you to deliver grain to your town manually, because nobody else is going to do it. Once I got over that hurdle, it became a lot less problematic and it allowed me to develop my town in whichever was I saw fit, focusing on developments that were more benefitial to me at the time instead of having the town develop in a linear fashion. It was also handy to have the option to pillage claimed territories to weaken the enemy’s econamy whenever they take them back, a concept taken from Mount & Blade Warband: Viking Conquest.

The laws system is yet another cool idea that also feels like a hinderance, though this system often works in your favor when you are a ruler since you can spend influence to give every single advantage to yourself. As a vassal however, the laws system is an absolute pain in the ass as you can have laws that sap any influence you gain, putting you into negative influence as well as not having hunting rights which can be really bothersome if you own a castle. You need influence to vote to change any of these laws so if there’s a law that constantly saps your influence then you are essentially put into a position where you are incapable of making any decisions which is insanely frustrating in the early game.

Battles are mostly unchanged from Warband but there are a few new features added including new formations such as circles and the ability to kill multiple enemies with a two handed axe which is pretty cool as well as the ability to use the mouse cursor to adjust where troop placements go rather than telling them to move where you are standing. There is also siege weaponary which I never seemed to be able to put to good use as it is difficult to aim them at the target you want to hit, not to mention the fact that they are a pain to set up. If anything, siege weapons are best used during siege preparation as they will fire automatically and break down the walls, making it easy to claim even the most protected of castles. The downside to all this is that it costs time and as we all know, Bannerlord’s end game doesn’t afford the player much time, so you will rarely ever use siege weapons and instead opt to use the ladders like in Warband. It feels like a slightly expanded version of Viking Conquest’s sieges but not quite as interesting as it doesn’t have the random events that make the sieging process unpredictable. One thing that they did add to sieges was the ability to pick up stones and throw them at enemies, you can even use them to break the battlements around towers which is a nice touch. There are even pots which will explode upon breaking, dealing damage to a large area which is always fun to mess around with when you are low on health in a siege and want to bully large groups of enemies.

Ultimately, Bannerlord feels like a culmination of concepts with no thought into how the concepts would co-exist. It’s sad how all the new features that Bannerlord brought to the table only served to make the game worse because of how poorly they all mesh together. Despite all of this however, it still has the same appeal that Warband had and if you took out all the new features, you’d basically be playing a modded version of Warband with better graphics. There are a few features however that didn’t make it into Bannerlord such as the ability to have feasts in castles, the ability to give lords individual orders and the ability to create custom troop hotkeys. This is a bit disappointing but I can live with it so long as the core experience is still there and it is.

Siege Towers make their return in Bannerlord, though this time they are optional in all sieges.

I think the biggest difference between Warband and Bannerlord is the pacing. Because of the peace system and the feasts, Warband plays out at a much slower pace, giving you more downtime to experience all the game has to offer, whereas Bannerlord plays out at such a fast pace that you don’t have time to do anything besides war and thie can get really tiring after a while. Given the fact that Mount & Blade is supposed to be a medieval simulation game, this change of pace just doesn’t fit the nature of the game at all. Warlords do more than just fight, they’re human beings that have lives outside of the battlefield but in Bannerlord they feel like armies of robots, programmed to constantly reproduce and kill, almost like some kind of zombie apocalypse you’re trying to contend with as opposed to actually fighting humans with their own agendas and cultures that are trying to balance a life of war with a life of pleasure and feasting allowed this in Warband, heck it would have been cool to have minigame tournements during feasts but there aren’t any. It just seem that these huge castles you get are pointless to visit as everything important can be done in the menu.

Now for the question everybody wants the answer to. Is Bannerlord a good entry point into the Mount & Blade experience? Well if it is your first time playing and you have nothing to compare it to then so long as you disable birth and death, I can safely say that you will have a fun time in Bannerlord, at least up until the end game but the rest of the game will be fun. The downside is that the only real advantage to playing Bannerlord first is the visuals and the minigames, besides that Warband is better in nearly every other aspect. Those looking to try the game who played either the original game or Warband previously will find Bannerlord to be a fresh new take on the formula but this isn’t necesarrily a good thing. I think fans of the previous entries may find that outside of these questionable changes, Bannerlord plays like just about any other mod for Warband and in that sense, it’s basically just more of the same thing but with better graphics. I think you need to be open to new challenges and be willing to put up with a lot of bullshit because Bannerlord can be an absolute nightmare to play.

Says the guy who looks like he’s ready for an orgy.

The question is, is it worth playing Bannerlord when you have Warband? Well I think that depends on what the modding community can bring to the table because if all you’re going to play is Native, Warband is a more fun experience if you ask me, even though it is lacking in features by comparison, I find that the simplicity of it all makes it considerably easier to pick up and play when you get the hang of the basics and the game feels less stressful, even if it can be a tad overwhelming at times. Bannerlord was just too much for me and I simply couldn’t enjoy it as much as I did Warband but it doesn’t help that my past experiences with Warband have spoiled me a bit. Bannerlord is very much the same game again so I don’t have that fresh new experience that I had when I first played Warband. Nevertheless, I still had fun in the earlier portions of the game so there’s still some value to be had here.

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Plot/Story: Make Your Own

Visuals: Great

Gameplay: Good

Music: Great

Lifespan: Forever

Difficulty: Frustratingly Hard (even moreso than Warband)

Would You Replay? Maybe

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Overall: Good (but really fucking annoying, stressful and tedious)

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Checkmate motherfucker!

I can’t say that Bannerlord is a terrible game but man was this experience an absolute nightmare.

No video for this one folks, sorry but I just don’t feel like recording any footage from this game and I don’t think it would be viable for my channel.